Best Fast Food Item Ever.

 If I find these heavenly are they in heaven? What you are looking at is the White Castle "CHEESE STICKS". If you even dare mention the word "mozzarella" at the drive-thru you will be ripped out your car, tarred and feathered.

Are they one of the wonders of the food world? Yes. Is one piece 1,5000 calories? Yes. Couple of years off your life for some of these guys is WELL WELL worth it.

You wouldnt think to get "Cheese Sticks" at a White Castle but true drunks who wander in to this 24 hour fast food/ homeless shelter at dangerous hours of the night know the magic of these. The cheese inside is either gooey or hard.... one of life mysteries. Is it is mozarealla? Are you the Health Department?!

I would like to award the "White Castle Cheese Sticks" as the greatest Fast Food Item of all Time.... granted... I have never had them sober and dont plan on it... I also think the "marinara sauce" is not made for human consumption. We all have warts and scars and so do these miracles.

               GREATEST FAST FOOD ITEM OF ALL TIMES

:)

Why cant people leave me alone and let me go insane in peace?!

KEEP AMERICA GREAT! TRUMP 2020 (keep digging that hole)

 Deep down, as much as you dread it, you know......

Trump is going to get re-elected.

I already see flags in my neighborhood saying "Trump 2020 : Keep America Great". And mind you I love in Queens Fucking New York! The Melting Pot of the World.

Is Trump a sociopath narcissist? Absolutely. Should he not be president? Absolutely. But you know who will not de-throne him? The 20 idiotic Democratics on stage looking like some bootleg ass Spelling Bee. I LOVE Bernie Sanders. He was who I wanted to be president last election.... Now? Ehhhh... He looks like he has one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel. DiBlasio? HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! Ask any New Yorker if they want Tall Bill as president and I bet you get the same response. Its not that I hate him...but if you presented most people with the option to push a button to never see him again? Di-Blasi-Gone.

Lets look at the Ukraine. A comedian on a sitcom who played a teacher who ran for president and won.... became the fucking president! And his campaign was that people liked his fictional presidential character and wanted to make that a reality. When I first heard that, I thought it was insanity.... then I thought of Trump. That is minor league compared to our pussy grabber. BTW: The image above is inspired by the legendary film "They Live" starring the thespian "Rowdy" Roddy Piper. Directed by the great John Carpenter. No bullshit its one of my favorite movies ever and with todays climate its getting a ton of fraction.... Its not on Netflix but I hear about these things called Torentz?!

The Bare Burger (Vegan, LBGTQ Friendly, average Burger Joint)

 

 Their logo "Bear" is definitely involved in sex trafficking. He looks like a Dr.Seuss drawing gone wrong."

I’m eating at a burger joint thats trendy and think’s its more important the to the planet earth than it is. Plastered on every menu and free wall space is propaganda saying how they use the freshest beef. Cows that were fed with the finest food, didn’t get their utters pulled without consent, and book read every night before being tucked in. Basically a much better childhood then I had. Ok fuck it… I was at Bareburger. A pretentious upscaled overpriced upscale White Castle that doesn’t taste as good. Oh your Vegan friendly? Go fuck your mother. If your going to a burger joint to eat Vegan shit just fuck off. Eat your mix of cauliflower, mushrooms, lettuce, and kale while you watch me eat raw beef that bleeds every time I take a bite.

I love how most of these Vegans are Atheist but care so much how animals are treated while genocide is happening in Africa. “You believe in nothing Lebowski!” These are the same people who haven’t removed their Vote for Hillary bumper stickers. I’m no Trump fan but research Hillary and she has a lot of blood on her hands. Picking between Trump and Hillary was like choosing between AIDS and Cancer.

Sorry my ADHD took my brain controls. (Apparently the term ADD is now extinct) I’m sitting alone at the bare (I’m and only child) eating a burger. Besides me are two of the most generic corporate caucasian crackers I have ever seen in my life. One of them does not say a single word as the other rambles on and on about his job; “Christina is great at her job but she was too overqualified. She was great at bankroll and accounts payable…. I like making six figures but for the blah blah blah!” Holy Fuck! They might as well have been speaking Chinese. This is literally all I heard them talk about. It me me so angry I wanted to grab the one kid and make him bite the curb. I thought to myself, If I ever sit in a Bareburger dressed in my finest dress shirt from J.C. Penny talking about this soulless bullshit please just kill me. I wanted to kill both these guys and then kill myself. While they were having this “conversation” I could literally hear their souls dying. These dorks made me embarrassed to be white… they probably dont even know Nipsey Hussle died. They were Four-O-ONE-GAY! I just thought of that… comedic genius.

As a white guy why do I feel like I’m in “Get out” when I go to these rich suburbs? You know why in the hood they call it “Soul Food”? Because they haven’t lost their god damn souls to capitalism.

Snapchat Puppy Filter

Todays society is all about trying to achieve perfection ,or to giving the impression your shit don't stink. Or it smells like the "good" Febreeze ....only one of the scents is acceptable... that being their " Basketball Swamp Ass" 

Social Media is a perfect platform to create an “image”. Instagram is basically the shitty Matrix... something our  grandkids will laugh at us for using. Everyone has essentially become a promoter; the brand being themself. In this “perfect world” when someone makes a mistake, instead of giving them a second chance or a shot at redemption... they are just erased. Re-write history or simply pretend they never existed. Society no longer wants to see any ugly. This world was built on death, broken backs, racism, tears, and entitlement. We can pretend this was fantasy or we can learn from our past, help our present, and change our future. I don't like this current world...  Freedom of Speech is dead. Your career and life can be ruined by a ten year old tweet.  We are doing modern day witchunts again... burning them on the keyboard.

The internet was cut toddler who didn't really do much but lag and chatter once in a blue. Then it is teenage years we were Instant Messaging each other, Putting up shitty MySpace raps, and pretending to be carpet munchers in those Lesbian Chatrooms. A/S/L?

Those Snapchat Dog Filters. What in the bluest hell is that. I wondered why on my tinder.... I mean "Linked-In", every girl I saw a puppy dog. Why would they want to look like this with a big slobbering tongue hanging out. What also weird was these girls would look much better then in person... I felt a weird sensation looking at the pics as my penis got erect. Was I a zoophiliac?! A beastialic?! No! I was snapchat brainwashed like the rest you a Half n Eggers! That filter makes your face thinner, your eyes wider, sparkly, and gives you a huge ass tongue most likely for balls licking. No wonder so many dudes find that filter hot... it is programmed to make us get the blood pumping to our peeshie.  If your are over the age of thirty and have a pic of you as a puppy you should Google, "How to Tie a Noose with a Kate Spade Scarf"

Virtual Bullshit (Elon Blunts)

So Elon Musk (or as I call him Elon "Blunts" as seen above) thinks we might be living in a virtual world... alternate reality maaan!  Basically this "stoner" (taking one hit on Rogan) is recapping the plot of the Matrix. I call Bullshit! Bullshit I say! In the Matrix everyone is Keanu Reeves gorgeous and in great shape... if this basically a video game version of life like "The Sims" why would anyone make their Avatar some fat, ugly person?

Also why in the blue hell would someone decide to live in a war torn third world country? What are they playing on the "hard" difficulty setting? Do some people got that Game Genie? Them cheat codes for life. I don't buy it for one second, and I'm pretty sure this Elon Musk motherfucker is an alien... not saying this is a bad thing but pretty sure he's just been in hiding since he taught the Egyptians how to build the pyramids.

Capitalism

Offending Old Rich White Women.

This summer I spent a week in the Hamptons. If I stayed a minute longer it was about to become Grand Theft Auto: Hampton Bays. There's only so much of watching wealthy bored Caucasians look at antiques and browse bookstores for shit they will never read one man can take. The entitlement there is astonishing. People have Yachts literally worth more then countries. You ever wanted to feel like a poor underachieving failure.... go visit the Hamptons. (That's actually their slogan on the shirts)

But here's the thing.... all the money can't buy soul. Look behind their overpriced Ray Ban Polarized Sunglasses and you will see emptiness... dead eyes... like a dolls or a shark. They sit around making fun of minorities for all dressing and acting the same while they themselves do the exact same. There is an unofficial "uniform" to the Hamptons and if your not wearing boat shoes, white shorts, and a polo you will get some dirty looks. Sandals can also be substituted... I hate a man wearing sandals... there is nothing uglier then men feet but that's a rant for another day.

So back to me... After walking around in my JNCO jeans, Airwalk sneakers, and Chain wallet (to stop thievery) for a week and hearing all the whispers behind my back I snapped. I was driving when this entitled elderly woman, who probably just left her multi million dollar home after her breakfast of wine and xanax , wanders out in to the middle of the street. I hit the breaks and she gives me a judging stare... not impressed by my 14 year old car or the profanity laced rap music that was blasting out of it. "Learn How to Drive!" How dare this bitch say that to me for nearly running her over! Something inside me snapped and I had to let her have it. I needed a dagger like insult that would shatter her whole meticulously constructed world. My first instinct is to say, "Fuck you bitch!" (NOTE: The highest level of education I achieved is a Bachelors... and it was in Communications.. so basically I'm a highschool graduate) Before I uttered out my ignorancy, a moment of genius came over me....

"Watch where your going... nigger." As soon as I finished I could see the look on her face... confusion, fear, anger, arousal. I could literally see her brain melt out of her ears. NEVER in her life has she been called the n-word... the word she only utters in the privacy of her mansion with Mr. Joseph Yoder. And it was being hurled at her from someone of her own race. She literally froze in her tracks unaware of what to do or say. I didn't break eye contact and a staring contest ensued. Finally she dropped her head and scurried off. Where she went... I don't know. But I can imagine!

I imagine an immaculate bedroom. The maid cleaned it earlier this morning but as of now clothes are thrown about. Empty pill and wine bottle spewed across the floor amid the designer dresses and shoes. A shitty little Pomeranian barks feverishly at something. Pan over and we see this "fucking bitch" hanging from a bed post by her finest Kate Spade scarf. And that's my story... Have a great day I'm off to see my psychiatrist.