The Walrus Story

"I AM THE WALRUS"

This story has, up to now, just been passed about by word of mouth. Much the same way that a lot of great legends are...like Hercules, or even Jesus. But you see, much like the telephone game, the story gets warped and changed from person to person. I thought it was about time that I finally wrote down the accounts of what happened that day; cause god forbid if I get killed tomorrow and this tale is lost forever. The Beatles have a song called, "I Am The Walrus". I never understood the title until I went to the Aquarium that day. Its true...I am the Walrus!

It happened at Coney Island, in the New York Aquarium. It was free pass day so you know all the winners were out. People who waited all summer for this one money free day of fish viewing. It was a melting pot of cultures; but all of our beliefs, and differences, would be thrown aside for a brief period in time. You see, it was in that darkened hallway, staring at that glass tank with fingerprints smeared all over it, that it would happen...

Everyone was gathered from all the different burroughs of New York. We were watching the tank in anticipation, waiting for him to arrive. All of a sudden a magnificent creature, molded from the image of God appeared, and he had both his hands...ummm...fins over his privates. Everyone looked on in amazement as he came uncomfortably close to the glass. A small black child walked closer in amazement; it was a touching moment as his eyes locked with the walruses. Then the Walrus quickly moved his fins away exposing a HUUUUGE cock! Bet you didn't see that one coming! The whole room was thrown into a frenzy....a joyous frenzy. But this creature wasn't done yet....He then took both fins and started jerking off. The black child eyes widened in shock as his father yelled, "Back up before he pokes your eye out!" The frenzy in the room was now out of control as everyone was running about and laughing and screaming. It felt like Christmas morning if none us knew Santa wasn't real. Black, White, Spanish, and Asian were all joined together in this celebration of life. At this one moment, racism was dead in the world.

The Walruses penis then retracted into his body (I swear, they can do this) and he covered his privates again with both fins. I swear to god I then saw a smirk come across this mothefuckers face. Was the show over? Disappoinment hung over the room. NOPE! He quickly moved his fins away again exposing his penis. He now took both fins and started masterbating like a wild man. He was using all the strength in his magnificently made body. You can then guess what happened. An explosion the likes of which is reserved for the fourth of July. Yup...he went to completion..he released the seed man! The black man next to me jaw dropped as he exclaimed, "OH SHIIIIIIIIIIT!" I swear it was said in slow motion. Then all of a sudden, Aerosmith's "Sweet Emotion" started playing as the Walrus pulled out a cigarrette. Ok, that last part was a lie...But i swear everything else in this story is 100 percent completly true.

Now going back to the Beatles; I am the Walrus. Everyday I am being observed and feel like I am stuck in a tank. Everyone watching my every move, and critizing every little thing I do. Well its time for me to say, "Fuck You!" and go pleasure myself right in front of them. The message of this story is, "Fuck What other people think!" and to jerk off.