8.1.09

This is why Ric Flair is a real man of genius... winner of one of the best men award.

8.1.09

Watch this and try not to laugh.. It is not humanly possible. This is rare handheld footage from the Puerto Rican day parade.

8.1.09

Well what do we have here? A video from the ultra compelling Starbury TV. Here he walks off camera to talk on the phone not realizing the microphone picks up his whole conversation. Here we can here him sniffing lines of coke right off the bat. He basically says that hes getting paid big for this whole thing and curses and yells like a crazy man. He also says that he can sell anything he wants to his "fans" and the music he keeps playing is carefully selected because he has money involved with the artists.

7.31.09

I fucking HATE handcuffs.

7.29.08

Halloween costume... book it...done

EDIT: Wow... according to post titles I still think its 2008

7.29.08

There is a fly in my house who must be in the prime of his life. I attempted to kill it but there is no way possible. When I make even the slightest movement towards it, it is gone in a second. It appears that I have met my match. He is not even arrogant like some.... buzzing in my face. He mostly stays hidden..... no joke.. as I was typing that he just buzzed right in my ear and I swapped him... not a death blow but a good one none the less. This motherfucker is like the Predator of insects.

7.28.09

Ok I think its safe to say Marbury has lost his effing mind.

7.27.08

This is a great video for a number of reasons. Number one we have Birdman... who is like the white Dennis Rodman. Then we have the greatest actor of all time Jack Nicholson making fun of his crazy hair. Also there is a 50 Cent song talking about how Queens is the best. Finally we have a white guy hitting a pretty nasty dunk.

6.26.09

This is a REAL heavy metal white pride band. These guys are not trying to be Spinal Tap and actually make me embarassed to be white. 2:22 is even more awesome with the white power switch being raised to 11. "Our white power goes to 11".

Thanks to the power of Netflix I have discovered probably the greatest show on television..... "Man vs. Food" on the Travel Channel. Lately Man has been versing a lot of shit on television but this is the best one yet. It's a simple premise, with this guy from Brooklyn who reminds me of Turtle from Entourage visiting different states and trying their top foods they are known for. At the end of each show he tries to complete a food "challenge". (like eating a 12 pound steak or 13 patty burger) The craziest part is this guy is not that fat but he usually destroys the competition and conquers the feat way ahead of time. It kicks mucho ass-o. 

Let the Right One In

I just saw a movie from Sweden called "Let the Right One In". It is a beautiful, disturbing film that really leaves a haunting image in your head... especially when you research more about the novel and find out more about the story. This might be one of the oddest films of all time.

I'm gonna put some spoilers here, so if you plan on seeing the film go see it first and then come back and read this to get a better understanding. The story is mainly about a lonely 12 year old boy who is constantly picked on. He winds up befriending a strange 12 year old girl who lives next door to him with an older man. As their friendship progresses he winds up falling in love with her. Now here where it gets strange as all hell. She is actually a vampire and the man living with her, her "father" goes out and does the killing for her gathering the blood. The man is actually not her father but a pedophile. He is hired to go get blood in exchange he gets to mess around with the young girl. (You don't see this in the film but it is in the novel) Now it gets even more bizarre.... Through out the film the young girl says she is not a girl despite getting closer to and even kissing the other boy. In one disturbing scene he is spying on her change when he see's that "she" does not have a vagina but instead a big scar. In fact this girl was actually a boy but casturated by a vampire lord in a bizarre ritual and turned into a vampire... he is also in fact 200 years old. As crazy, sick, and perverse as this may sound this is an amazing film. The cinematography is amazing and this film provides some of the most haunting images I have ever seen in cinema.  Fuck.... what a mind fuck... This movie totally just blew my mind... I can't even sleep right now, my mind is just racing with thoughts... trying to comprehend what I just saw.

Milli Vanilli - Girl you know it's true

7.19.09

saw a good film today called "Shattered Glass". Even though it stars Anakin Skywalker his performance wasn't piss poor.  Interesting story that I recommend to be watched. Man I love watching IFC channel in HD. Seeing true art is wonderful... witnessing true art, works of genius... be it paintings, films, or sculptures is such a refreshing feeling. Refreshing from the violence, murder, and slaughter the media shows us non stop. Art shows the beauty that our society is also capable of making. If someone told me there was no more art in the world.... I would go and jump off the bridge

July.17.09

Yeah so I'm sick... and I have to get MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR surgery to remove my tonsils very shortly. So I probably dont have much more time left on this earth, but at least I know how i want to spend it. I just got a free 2 week trial for Netflix on my XBox. The movie selection is moderate but it really shines with the streaming television series. All seasons of Quantum Leap and Twilight Zone?! Jesus, did I just die and go to heaven. There is no reason to go outside and socialize anymore. They even have campy Italian horror films like "Zombie". This is a pretty sweet deal for 10 bucks a month... unlimited streaming movies and you can send away for a movie whenever you please. This is the opportunity I've been waiting for to finally watch "The Wire".... a show many consider the finest example of American writing.

'Moon' Trailer HD

this looks good too

'Zombieland' Trailer

and the Oscar goes too...

7.12.09

Fun With Ahmed

This is what it would like if amazing and genius had a child together. "But I wont dump on myself! ...not this time!" Ahemd then claims to have one word for Farooq and begins chanting "Your gonna die!" WTF? I'm come to the conclusion that watching something with wrong subtitles might be the funniest thing on the planet.

What in the Bluest Hell?!

Ok this is bad... for the second time this week I had to ckeck wht year it was. Once again I thought that it was the year 2008.

So now onto this clip we have here. I was watching the newest "X-Files" movie and I saw this scene that must be one of the most baffling scenes in the history of cinema. What kind of statement is trying to made here? That is the actual scene, it has not been toyed with and even the X-Files theme cueing up is in the original version.

7.05.09

This is pretty good too. This is hilarious actually. A guy calls 911 because the Burger King did not have lemonade. I swear some of this shit can not be made up.

6.5.09

This is what prison is like. This is one of the most intense things I have ever seen and may have single handedly ended the English Language... Willy Jakes!

July 4th 2009

I could not even make this up if I tried. I'm reading the New York Post this morning and their is a story with the headline, "MIDGET MYSTERY". Here is how the article starts...

The world of Mexican midget wrestling was rocked to its tiny foundations this week, when a pair of pint-sized, twin performers were murdered -- apparently by poison-wielding hookers they met in a sleazy bar.

Wow. That story really has it all. Midget Mexican wrestlers and hookers that wield poison. I love how they have to add that it was a sleazy bar.... not it was a classy joint with poison-wielding hookers. You can check out the whole thing here... 

http://www.nypost.com/seven/07042009/news/worldnews/midget_mystery_177522.htm

Enemies to the Public....Viewing

Ok I saw "Public Enemies" last night at 12. Right now its 10 in the morning and I still have not slept.... maybe because the film was so awful. I was really amped to see this film, as I feel Depp can really do no wrong. I love gangster films and the story of Dillinger was already cool to begin with. So what wrong? The film honestly feels like an incomplete rough cut. It is shot digitally on HD over film and looks like someone's bad home movie. The cinematography is awkward and the transition between scenes leaves you scratching your head. On top of that, the characters are unlikable and one dimensional, the cops (the antagonists I guess) are as dumb as could possibly be, and Christian Bale delivers one of the worst acting performances of all time channeling a charisma-less William Shatner. For a while I felt like I was watching Looney Tunes with Depp playing Bugs Bunny and the cops Elmer Fudd. This rings especially true when Depp, (who is at this point the most wanted man in America) casually walks himself on a tour of the police station and then asks the unsuspecting cops the score of the baseball game. I was expecting him to say, "Ahhh.... Whats Up Doc?"

I read mixed reviews of this film, and just read a NY Times review calling the film genius. I don't get it. Everyone I went with hated hated hated the film, people were routinely walking out of the theatre, a guy behind me was snoring, and midway thru a guy in the back started to loudly freestyle rap (no joke). So many scenes and lines of dialogue are so unintentionally funny that I literally burst out loud laughing. So in closing if I had to describe this film in one word it would have to be the F word... F-U-C-K.  That is the first word I uttered when the credits rolled on the screen.