Logan (2010) Trailer

Looks like we might have a new "The Room" coming out here. I am AMPED to see this in the theatres. This trailer served exactly its purpose... I want a ticket.

Lets Break this down shall we..

- At the dinner table when he announces he is making a movie, his father has the same reaction as if he would have announced he was pregnant. My dad acted the same exact way when I said I wanted to get into film.

- "Do you remember that movie we saw?" They are literally standing outside the movie theatre. "Do you remember that we movie we just saw minutes ago?" how could he not fucking remember?! What are they brain dead?

- The teacher told Logan he would give his script to his cousin. Instead of saying yeah and just tossing it aside... a little invention called lying... he comes right out and basically says, "I never thought your dumb ass would actually do it."

- This is the most dramatic piano playing I have ever heard.

- "Has a 13 year old ever made a movie?" What?! No Way! NEVER! You are speaking insanity! How could a 13 year old possibly handle the intricate machinery required for such a feat. I made a shitload of movies when I was 13... they should make a movie about me! Movie!

- Logans parents really couldn't afford a better camera then that? Jesus Christ. What is he Charlie Chaplin? Is he making a silent film?

I have to stop... I could keep on going with this the rest of the night. The fact that this got made is shocking.

Pure Genius

The intro to Growing Pains is the most genius thing I have ever seen. It is reminiscent of Nazi propaganda in its ability to warp the mind into fighting for something.. in this case this family.

Lets Break this down.

Ok... right in the beginning we see the family yelling at each other. This shows they are not your typical family... there is a little dysfunction.. but they aren't angrily yelling, more like "joshing".

Then they strike a normal pose for the camera... they put on the front of the perfect family for society to see.

Then we get this powerful fucking music and shots of every cast member thru different stages of their lives. Right there that makes us feel like we knew and grew up with these people our whole lives. Emotional attachment.

Also right before Mike Camerons name, one of his pictures of his him as a child making a goofy face... right there we know the character has a sense of humor and is the clown.

Then the family dispatches and we have Mike Cameron standing alone hamming it up. Now we know he is the star of the show. He tries to stand like he is the true man of the house, but then goes scampering after his family... showing he still needs them despite how he may act. PURE FUCKING GENIUS!

I can actually go even deeper into what each character is doing at present that says even more about them... this whole thing is probably boring you to tears... The mother is a business suit.. she's an independent working woman. Mike Cameron once again goofing off. The daughter on the phone chatting with her friends, typical teenage girl. The gay son looking like a stand up comedian doing a routine.... SOOOOOO FUCKING GENIUS!

INTERNET BREAKDOWN: Eli Porter

Bout time I posted this here... if you haven't noticed I've been pretty much winning the internetz as of late. Theres been some real gems on here as of late. This is a great one filled with so much unintentional comedy it is a little scary... make that very scary. So lets break this summa bitch down...

0:30 - Why is our "host" gently rubbing that guys chest. He does it practically the whole video.

1:13 - His advice to Eli is to stay "walking cripple". This freestyle is for a highschool television show. A highschool television show where they refer to the mentally disabled as "cripples".

2:04 - Look at the guy in the middle

2:10 - If ANYONE can tell me what the hell he says you win my autographed Seal "Kiss From a Rose" single. My guess is, "This nigga soft like a nigga who did gym did the best." If that is indeed what he said then he is a bigger lyrical genius then I thought.

2:56 - "He like Rosie O'Donnell at a bisexual bible shower." I'm assuming he meant bridal, but I heard bible. I'm not sure what exactly he means by this, but I do know it deserves a "Ohhh!" from the audience.

3:09 - "This dude like that, he ran in front of the cat". Oh.

3:41 - My favorite part. So much awesome at one single time. First you have the two guys in the heart holding hands looking like they are on a date. Then you have Eli claiming that he said "freaking". Maybe if freaking was spelt f-u-c-k-i-n-g.

3:48 - Listen to the guy in the yellow polo, "He said a bisexual". After everything you just witnessed, the funniest thing you found was someone uttering the word bisexual. My head would have fucking exploded if I witnessed this live.

3:51 - Listen to the host, "That was great! It HAD to be better then last time." What the hell could have possibly occurred last time?