Asylum Trip

THE HAUNTINGI was relaxing on one cold winter night. It might have been around this time. I was sitting there freezing gripping my forty of Bud tight. One of my friends comes over to me and asks, "You wanna go to this haunted abanonded insane asylum?" I didn't even have time to comprehend what was being asked because my instincts took over and I immediatly responded, "Yeah...Duh!" So I raced home to "prepare". I stumbeled into the house drunk and began looking for flashlights, gloves, blunt objects for defense. My dad watched in awe as I tore apart the closet, "What the hell are you doing?!" "Don't worry dad, Im going to this haunted abanoned insane asylum." His response was a simple, "Oh", and he walked away. I then changed my clothes and put on as many layers as possible. I knew just like everyone does, that ghosts love to tear clothing off.

So I was finally ready. I was ready to go take on the fucking Stay Puff Marshmellow man in downtown Manhattan! My friends were ready too, with police flashlights and knives. (You know how much ghosts hate being stabbed.) No but seriously, the reason we brought so many weapons was the fear of encountering schizophrenic homeless people or raccons. The name of the place was the Kings Park Asylum, out there deep in Long Island. We were all laughing in the car on the way there, smoking drugs, and saying how brave we were going to be. We even had a camera filming it to add to the Blair Witch-esque feel. I remeber as soon as we pulled into the place, which is HUUUUGE, that everyone became real quiet. The joking was over, and I looked up at the scariest looking building I've ever seen.......

Thats what I saw...but picture the darkest night sky ever behind it, and it being 1000 times scarier. I remeber thinking what everyone in that car was thinking, "Fuck this..." We parked the car off in some bushes, becuse cops patrol the area. That building above is the main building but this place is like a college campus, there are tons of other smaller buildings.

We got out of the car and prepared our equipment. We then journey to one of the buildings, and I swear to God, this is what happened....There was a sign that read, "WARNING: KEEP OUT", and as we walked near it, it just fell off the wall to the ground. "You know, I love this Goonie type shit, but THAT is a sign!" You must realize that we are not cowards, if anything, me and my friends are the epitome of masculinity. But I'm not going to lie, we were scared as shit. We walked over to the boarded up door and kicked the wood open and squeezed in to the building. What we then saw would scare any man out of his pants. It was a sight so scary that it made us retreat back to the car. What was it you asked.......

CAT BONES!

Yup...thats right...it was the perfect skeleton of a cat. It became very apparent to me that this place was haunted as soon as I saw this. My jaw dropped and I let out a yell like Mackualy Calkin putting the after shave on in "Home Alone".

We may not have conquered the asylum on that night, but we went back and went through it with absolutely no fear and the fun of that first night was gone. I'll never forget how scared we all were the first time, I never seen anything like it. The second trip we were like a whole different group of people and even took some documents as a souvenir. It was definetly a fun trip and I recommend going. Just google "Kings Park Asylum" and you'll see it on a bunch of "Most Haunted Places" websites. BOO! Scared you didn't I? And that is how we will end this....

SKEET SKEET SKEET MOTHERFUCKER!