Film 101

My advice to aspiring filmmakers...

1. Ask yourself this question right now... am I crazy? If the answer is "no" then quit right now. No interesting film is coming to come from your being. Think of all your favorite actors and directors? Are they not batshit insane? Al Pacino and Nicholson seem like their all there? Part of the reason you want to do films is because you are crazy, as soon as you are able to come to terms with this you'll be better at your craft.

2. Get out of the classroom. Now of course you need some schooling but there's no better way to get out there with a camera and start making films. Low budgets pieces of shit. There are certain mistakes rookie filmmakers will make their first couple of times.... I guarantee it. There are simply just too many things that can fuck up on a film. No WAY you are going to get everything right.

3. Watch Classic and Foreign Films. If the only films you like and know are from the U.S. 2000-to present, you are going to make shit. Simply put. I'm not saying to be a film historian, but open your horizons a bit. And watch a lot of foreign films. Why? Because most American films copy from other countries. Other countries are ahead of us in technique and just about every other way possible when it comes to cinema. American cinema is being ruined by greed. Watch something cool from some foreign film.... modify it, dumb it.... then profit.

Today on the train....

Today on the train I saw a tiny Korean woman. Thats it. End of Story. Lol that would be a great story. Anyway, I saw a tiny Korean woman on the train and she was wearing a polo shirt. No ordinary polo shirt. On the pocket of the shirt was Taz (Looney Tunes) and written underneath it said "I Don't Give A Fuck!". I found this to be hilarious. What made her buy this shirt? I could just picture her yelling out on the train with a heavy Korean accent, "I Don't Give A Fuck!" I would guarantee this shirt was not an officially licensed Looney Tunes product... a counterfeit one might say... but do you think she gives a fuck? She don't give a fuck. She making sure the world knows.

This guy is awesome

Things that Piss Me Off...

You know when you go on some sites and they make you do the Age Verification thing... like not even porn, like some stupid online video where someone curses. What the fuck is the point of this?! Who wastes their actual time and clicks thru to find their actual birth date? I click thru it as fast as humanly possible and have never not been born 1900's.... I am literally 110 years old. What kid is going to see this and not lie to be over 18? Who is this gonna stop? If your child is looking for bad shit online and is foiled by this verification, then he is a moron. You should hope that your child has the sense to get around it.

EAT DA POO POO

One of the greatest things i have ever seen

Wow.

I don't know what the hell this guy is running for but he has my vote. This guy is like the god damn Ultimate Warrior having a roid rage. It's like he is imitating Mel Gibson from those phone calls.

Keepin It Gangsta

I Am Old...

I was waiting on line in Staples and overheard a pair of parents and they're daughters talking about the first day of high school. (I guess highschool just started) This one pudgy girl is rambling on about all these new rules, which of her friends she didn't have class with, what teachers she didn't like, how the teachers are too hard and - SHUT THE FUCK UP! I look at the counter wheres there's packs upon packs of those ridiculous "Krazy Bands" rubber bands or whatever the hell they are called. Oh Wow... spell them with a "K". Thats really upping the crazy! Then I look over to a wall of "Twilight" school folders. At this exact moment in my mind I uttered, "I hate teenagers." Today was the day I realized I am an old ass man.

...Piss Me Off

Did you ever wonder what medieval fighting really looked like? I'm watching Centurion right now and it is probably the most violent movie I have ever seen. It's like a more realistic "300". And theres that word, "realistic". Are these ultra fast, high body count, sword mastery, fights and actual depiction... are they truly realistic? Not every one of these soldiers was a master swordsmen who could move about in slow motion. Some of them had to be real kluntz who were wearing armor that was way too heavy for them and swinging a sword that was also too heavy. I could imagine two out of shape guys essentially wearing trash cans around their waists clunking crudely forged swords across their chests. And finally one awkwardly falls over and the other guy walks over and cuts his throat. Thats what "realistic" is. There was no jumping about in slow motion and doing spinning sword slash combos.

Weirdest person I have ever seen