Things that Piss Me Off

When a fucking computer asks me to verify that I am a human and not a computer.

You got some balls Computer! And then they make you find a word in some weird ass font which I get incorrect 90 percent of the time.... Exactly what you see above. God only knows what that word is suppose to say... and to make it harder this Computer douchebag spilled ink all over it. This is something that PISSES ME OFF!

Things that Piss Me Off...

You know when you go on some sites and they make you do the Age Verification thing... like not even porn, like some stupid online video where someone curses. What the fuck is the point of this?! Who wastes their actual time and clicks thru to find their actual birth date? I click thru it as fast as humanly possible and have never not been born 1900's.... I am literally 110 years old. What kid is going to see this and not lie to be over 18? Who is this gonna stop? If your child is looking for bad shit online and is foiled by this verification, then he is a moron. You should hope that your child has the sense to get around it.

...Piss Me Off

Did you ever wonder what medieval fighting really looked like? I'm watching Centurion right now and it is probably the most violent movie I have ever seen. It's like a more realistic "300". And theres that word, "realistic". Are these ultra fast, high body count, sword mastery, fights and actual depiction... are they truly realistic? Not every one of these soldiers was a master swordsmen who could move about in slow motion. Some of them had to be real kluntz who were wearing armor that was way too heavy for them and swinging a sword that was also too heavy. I could imagine two out of shape guys essentially wearing trash cans around their waists clunking crudely forged swords across their chests. And finally one awkwardly falls over and the other guy walks over and cuts his throat. Thats what "realistic" is. There was no jumping about in slow motion and doing spinning sword slash combos.

Piss Me Off

Selling used Video Games. This is something that really bothers me. I LOVE buying pre-owned video games. I would buy anything pre-owned if I could. Sell me some pre-owned condoms. Anyway, when you go to sell a game you paid 60 bucks for, the amount they offer you is an absolute joke. I remember being offered 2 bucks for one of my Maddens. I felt like spitting in that geeks face. I was insultated but at the same time I was jones-ing for the cash. I felt like a drug addict about to go run out and buy crack with it. But then again, when am I really ever going to play Madden 2008 in the year 2010? Do I look like a god damn cave-man?!

Things that Piss Me Off

Cologne.

Has anyone EVER got laid because of the cologne they were wearing? what girl smells a guy and is like, "Oh my God, Polo. I should blow this fuck." Nope. And if anyone has EVER gotten laid from Axe Body Spray I will eat my dick. Literally.

The Hustlers who sell Cologne.

You ever play Final Fantasy. You know when your just walking along and then BAM! Suddenly your fighting like 2 dudes. Well thats basically the Queens Center Mall and these Cologne Hustlers. The bombard you and spray you with their cheap counterfit/stolen cologne. They then ask you if it smells good.... How are you suppose to respond? "No it smells like shit". You could spray me with 800 different colognes and I wouldn't be able to tell the difference. My sense of smell is absolutely horrible, the only thing I can smell is New Jersey.

Pisses Me Off

That is the ACTUAL cover. Holy shit. Every person at Cosmo must be brain dead or everyone just agrees with the higher-ups.... They better be higher if they thought that looked even remotely real. I remember when I first illegally downloaded Photoshop off the internet. My freakish Dr. Frankenstein creations of Burt Reynold's head on Ben Rothlessbergers naked body seemed more realistic. And you have to understand, I might legit be partially retarded.

Now for something that Pisses me Off! Why the fuck does spellcheck tell me that "internet" needs to be capitalized? Is it a god damn country?! I'm usually so blazed when I type this that I stare at the word for a fucking hour trying to figure out where I screwed up. Then I re-type it six times the exact same way. Fuck you Al Gore!

Things that Piss Me Off

2 Things that Piss Me Off...

1. Youtube videos being spoiled by the title. Someone goes, "Dude, you got to check this video out." I turn to the screen and there is the slow build up and then I glance at the title and it reads, "kid flips on bike and cracks open skull." Bam, the video is spoiled. I know exactly where this vid is leading too. No surprise. Imagine if the title of "Sixth Sense" was "Main Character is really dead!!!1!!!!"

2. People with crazy eyes. They should be forced to wear dark sunglasses all the time. How can I look you in the eyes when I talk to you when your are eyes are glancing everywhere. I instinctually glance over to where you are looking to make sure a fucking tiger or something is not running over at us. The whole time I talk to you I'm thinking how fucking crazy your eyes look and hoping I don't have a slip of the tounge. In my head I'm repeadtly saying, "Don't make it noticeable your staring at the eye." Then If I don't maintain eye contact you say I am a rude prick. Fuck you.