Sonic Disaster

With the release of Grand Theft Auto 4, the debate about violence in video games has heated up once again. Are the games to blame? For this post I've decided to sit down with a man who oozes 90's style attitude....the always controversial Sonic the Hedgehog. When we last saw him he released a rap album and single, "Dem Jews got da Jewelz". Both were commercial flops and Sonic has since then hit a real downslide. When Sonic showed up for this interview, he did not seem to be in "great" shape.... to say it politely. He was extremely incoherent as he mumbled and slurred his words...basically unintelligible. His balance was also terribly off, making it hard for him to stand. I literally had to carry him and sit him at a table. He then proceeded to fall to the floor and begin vomiting. I asked what he had been taking, to which be barely responded, "The Heavy Stuff". I kept trying to help him to his feet but to little success. At this point Sonics demeanor changed for the worse. A list of profanities came spewing out of his mouth and he swung and barely hit me. Sonic was now manic, ready to fight anyone. With him in such a loony state, I  barely managed to conduct the interview...At first I was going to keep this under wraps  out of respect...but hopefully this might be a wake up call for him.

Q.  Do you feel violent video games promote real life violenc?

A.  What the fuck is that?! That game huh? whats it called? HA HA HA! Audio Theft?!

      Let me tell you something... I did all that before violence was cool. I dont need a game to kill a whore...thats called Tuesday to me. I literally stomped nggz out for DoDo Money!

Q.  DoDo Money?

A.  Yea DoDo....that means that money is extinct like that bird.... small change that I extincted.         BUT LISTEN....you got to know this......DoDo is better then NoDo. HA HA!

Q.  When a child plays violent game, does it reveal tendency's that might be better left alone?

(At this point Sonic leaned his head over his shoulder and was not moving. It was about 3 minutes before he bounced back fully awake and active)

A. I DONT KNOW AND I DONT GIVE A FUCK, AND FUCK WHATEVER YOU TALKING ABOUT!

(Sonic then grabbed the closest thing, which was a saltshaker, and threw it across the room shattering it. He was beginning to become more and more uncontrollable.)

Q.  A game like Grand Theft Auto where a player can go and actually -

A.  Fuck the Grand Auto! What are we talking about here? Violence or bullshit?!

Q. No Violence as it....

A. Well then I will give you violence in spades mofo!

Q. Is it related to gaming by any chance?

A. How is this for Reality TV.... I killed Chester Cheeta motherfuckers! My ass was outside that      strip club my damn self.

Q. Was this action brought about by being influenced by a video game?

A. No.

Q. Any closing comments?

A. Yeah...Bitch it ain't mine...I told you im fixed!

Wow. So I guess playing violent video games does not lead to murder or what not. We need something else to blame now. I blame people. I blame human beings. Animals only kill for hunt. Humans came and fucked up everything. Oh and there's a bombshell....Sonic admitted to killing Chester.....Im guessing some jail time for that one.

I would advise those that are new here, to go up to the top right and you can see labels. Some of the more interesting posts here get a label. Click on the sonic one and you can follow up on his whole story thus far....