The Porn Industry

I was recently asked by a porn website called The Naughty Nation to go and film the porn convention in New Jersey. Why not? I have no desire to direct porn.... never did. I don't really see the glamorous side of this industry. I'm not a big porn fan personally... I did not know one person there besides for Ron Jeremy, and could care less about how long of  a dick these ho's could fit in their mouth.

I loved watching these losers, running about getting pictures and autographs. Who cares about an autograph from a porn star? What are you going to look at it while jerking off? Lets break it down.... Here are a few things that I observed, and some tips for the porn convention.

- Most porn stars have terrible skin. Their faces are acne ridden and filled with pot holes. To hide this fact they wear an EXCESSIVE amount of make up. If I had to guess... porn stars weren't the popular ones in high school and probably didn't party much or see much sex. Then they got to college.... dyed their hair... wore a lot of make-up and started getting fucked for a living. That seems like the majority of them. Some of them are just obscenely hot however and would look out of place doing anything but porn... then their are those who are just sex addicts and freaks. They really know how to work a crowd.

- Ron Jeremy is the Jesus of porn stars. When he walked in, he immediatly drew an immense crowd. Me any my friend snuck our way to the front of the line and actually got a really great plug from him. He's a real cool guy and really knows how to work a room.

- They have dick shaped everything. I thought it was hilarious watching girls sucking penis shaped lollipops. Some where just downright bizaare.... like a teddy bear that for some reason had a giant huge vibrating penis that was constantly thrusting.

- There is a shop called "Schlongs and Bongs".

- If you have a VIP pass you can go to the VIP room... what is in there you ask? A foosball table, a air hockey table and about 6 stripper poles with women who obviously are on the extacy.

- Don't eat hot dogs at the convention. They were god awful and literally made my asshole die. Get the pizza. It might look like the ugliest, most unappetizing thing on the earth, but it is actually quite good.

- Jesse Jane sucks. Not only dicks I mean. Apparently she's one of the bigger porn stars at this time. First off she is an anorexic blonde with silicone hanging off her chest an absolutely NO breasts. She was on stage screeching sounding like the ghost of Anna Nicole Smith. Her voice is honestly one of the worst and most annoying I have ever heard. Honestly.

- Weird looking foreigners really want to watch you fuck their surgically enhanced wife.

- Oh man... "Strip For Pain" is more gruesome then the "Passion of the Christ". Two girls with a lot of tatts, pick a man to punish. The guy is usually fat, bald, and has plenty of backne. It is game... The more punishment they take, the more the girls strip. First up was the whipping. I figured it would just be very tame with light love taps.... WRONG! They were whipped until HUGE bloody welts appeared. That wasn't the end tho. Next up they had to get punched in the face by these chicks as hard as possible, and they didn't even take their rings off. ow.