What If Satan was the Good Guy?

What if Lucifer was actually the good guy in this story? Think about it. We only know one side of the story... God and his followers side. What if the Bible was just one big smear campaign where they call him "the devil" "satin" and my personal fave, "Beelzebub". 

Picture this scenario.... God has just failed with his "Dinoasuar Project", wiped them out and is feeling pretty down. There are rumblings among the angels about the bossmans ineptitude but no one dare say anything. So he makes Humans and besides for the Eve/apple thing its a roaring success. Now he gets cocky... tyranical. Turning people to stone, messing with Jebs life, acting like every other power hungry ruler weve seen in history.

So you got this angel Lucifer. Who is basically the first rebel in history. Hes the only one woth the balls to stand up to God and say, "Your being a dick." Then God is all like, "Your just jealous. Get the fuck outta here." Then banishes him from heaven and basically shits on his name at any chance he gets. Shortly after this the moody, unpredictable good wipes out all the humans with a flood... because why the fuck not, hes basically playing "Sims" with us.

Just a random thought I had.

Parent's Just Don't Know Shit....

(Pictured: Not My Parents)

Your Parents really didn't know what the fuck they were doing (especially for first childs)

When your young you think your parents have their shit together. They are your personal "Yodas" who know every solution. For future generations these people who answers all your questions, and explain the "The Birds and Bees" would be called "GOOGLE".  Brazzers can show you in vivid detail how babies are made... Doggy Style, Human Style, Mushroom Toad Style... whatever's your fetish bruh!

Bottom line is your parent's didn't know dick from balls. It was all trial by fire. Maybe by the third one they were semi-decent parents. I'm 32 (Although I pass for a handsome 19 year old when I shave) and I wouldn't know the first thing to do with another human life... especially one that can't talk, walk, or contribute to bill payments.

It's insane when I think of some of my friends in charge of another human life... I wouldn't trust them pumping my gas let alone raising a child.

I know my dad, and heard stories of him when he was younger around the time I was born.. Its a miracle I am physically here... Mentally I'm not but I guess we can't have both.

If your wondering WTF?! That pic up above is it's from one of our new sketches you can check out right here:

Mean Cugines - InstaThot

The Good Ol' 90's

Oh how I love the 90's... when NY was gritty... before it was neutered by this spader Guilliani and lost its balls. Before the hipsters... the outrageous rents.. the lack of crime to keep people in check.

Lets jump back shall we..... You knew every location, bodega, park. You knew what to avoid and and where would get you jumped. Just the slight ragging of someone else's graffiti would catch you a beatdown. It might sound dangerous but EVERY child was out and apart of it.... the streets were alive.... Football, Stickball, Manhunt, Basketball, and Baseball.... even a early form of "MMA" we associated with professional wrestling where we beat the hell out of each other to submission.

You knew every drug dealer in town because they drove the most suped-up cars. The loudest sound system that was basically just a woofer...so when Ludacris, "Southern Hospitality" played it would rumble the street blocks like an earthquake. The absolute first thing you did when buying a car was to limo tint the rims or if you were relally big pimpin throw some mirror tints on that beyotch.

I miss this.... I miss playing basketball with my best friends. Stopping to sip on a Old E 40 and blasting "Return Of The Mack" off a cassette. Sitting wondering if Starks and Ewing could ever win the championship and if Stone Cold would finally get to Vince McMahon on Monday Night.

Not worrying about who had beef with who or who was trying fuck such and such's girl. It was a simpler time. We weren't shackled and constrained by technology. The most we had were beepers, which were widely ignored. (Who wanted to walk to a pay phone, and who carried spare change)

Our Knicks never won that championship... a vital game interrupted for coverage of the "OJ Simpson Chase"... A sign of the times I guess... I miss it every day.... Discovering the Biggie Track "Notorious Thugs" and playing it 37 ties in a row. Its sad you never knew the date of the last time that all happened... the last time you all hang out on the block... Life happened.

Now I know why older people are so fond of memories.

I'm Back Beatrices!

Jesus H. Christ! My last post was in 2010 and it was about Brett Favre showing his penis sexting.
You know how much more important shit has happened since then? A BLACK guy became president... and then the next president was a WOMAN! Just kidding... she lost to a egomaniac sociopathic Reality TV Star... Thats right... Mike "The Situation" is now our President.

What else.... Oh yeah everyone in Hollywood is a sexual deviant. Apparently masterbating in front of unwilling women is the new cool thing to do.... it has replaced "planking", "the ice bucket challenge" and that "mannequin" bullshit.

Oh get this too... Bruce Jenner is now a woman! And he was even named "Woman Of The Year" when basically all he/she did was chop of his peeshadeel (spellcheck that one motherfucker!)

The world is basically fucked... We got these guys called ISIS... I'm not a fan. Also these Koreans are no good. Not the Southern Koreans who do my dry cleaning... Im talking about the ones to the North. Oh no I'm racising again... thats not really cool in todays PC age. Being a straight white male is basically the WORST thing you can be.

I've been making "comedic" videos on this thing called Jewtube... The only PC thing about me is my Compaq Presario. They border on smut/scat porn.... Be sure to check them out.

www.youtube.com/pitstopent