Made Up 3

WITH MAKE-UP

WITHOUT MAKE-UP

Made Up 2

WITH MAKE-UP

WITHOUT MAKE-UP

Made Up

WITH MAKE-UP

WITHOUT MAKE-UP

Why this NBA Season will be best ever

Go this HILARIOUS article from a basketball website that tries to have all this integrity.

"If the Lakers can move Vujacic, sources say that they are going to add Delonte West to the roster.

This move would certainly give the Lakers a way to match up with the Miami Heat and stop LeBron in the case that the two teams do actually end up meeting in the Finals next season.

So the Lakers pick up West, who also happens to be LeBrons mothers lover, or at least has been there so to speak, and what would be a better preventative measure against LeBron than to give his mother a definite mixed emotion come the finals?

Afterall, if LeBron does have any one particular weakness, it would be the man who stole his mother’s heart, or at least her playtime, and that man is former Cavaliers teammate Delonte West."

Make a Baby!

This is an actual Internet Ad... Maybe you'll get lucky and your kid will look like a possessed Gary Coleman.

Michael Vick trains kids too

Do The Tom Cruise

Its the newest dance craze and its actually quite simple.

First off you need a LARGE pair of Aviator sunglasses.... you also MUST be holding a cell phone at ALL TIMES in your right hand.

Next you got to be spastic. You GOTS TO BE.

Now the most important step.... make like you are riding an invisible motorcycle. Now pretend you are still riding that motorcycle but you are doing so while standing up, have no idea which handle is the break or gas, and that you are mildly retarded.

Almost there... now maintain a smug jackass smirk the whole time.

FINAL STEP! Make sure to have Ving Rhames near-by to fan you with his fedora.

Now your doing "The Tom Cruise".

Things that Piss Me Off

Cologne.

Has anyone EVER got laid because of the cologne they were wearing? what girl smells a guy and is like, "Oh my God, Polo. I should blow this fuck." Nope. And if anyone has EVER gotten laid from Axe Body Spray I will eat my dick. Literally.

The Hustlers who sell Cologne.

You ever play Final Fantasy. You know when your just walking along and then BAM! Suddenly your fighting like 2 dudes. Well thats basically the Queens Center Mall and these Cologne Hustlers. The bombard you and spray you with their cheap counterfit/stolen cologne. They then ask you if it smells good.... How are you suppose to respond? "No it smells like shit". You could spray me with 800 different colognes and I wouldn't be able to tell the difference. My sense of smell is absolutely horrible, the only thing I can smell is New Jersey.

Mel Gibson

I've just listened to the new Mel Gibson tape and I am pretty sure he is the antichrist. Im not even kidding. Think about it. In the Bible it states the antichrist will very charismatic and loved by the people (which Mel was), it also states that he will then spread propaganda ("Passion of the Christ") and eventually destroy the world (???)

The Rock

Finally The Rock is making serious fucking action films again. Him being the "Tooth Fairy" really ached me belly. This guy bleeds charisma and should be the top action star in the U.S.

Lebron James = nWo

I said it before on the blog, and I guess someone feels the same way. To me it was eerie how a like they were. Life mimics Art.

Mel Gibson in The Shining

Beastiality Day

Did I really just read that yesterday was Beastiality Day?

Al Pacino commercial

Watch this commercial and then tell me you don't want to try that coffee. Mission accomplished. At first Pacino doesn't plug the particular product but coffee in general. Then he simply points to it and says, "this a good coffee." In a way in which you know he is not bullshitting. And Al Pacino looks like a man who knows coffee... His appearance suggests he has not slept in months. No one can argue with me that this commercial is not more entertaining then "Godfather III".

Pisses Me Off

That is the ACTUAL cover. Holy shit. Every person at Cosmo must be brain dead or everyone just agrees with the higher-ups.... They better be higher if they thought that looked even remotely real. I remember when I first illegally downloaded Photoshop off the internet. My freakish Dr. Frankenstein creations of Burt Reynold's head on Ben Rothlessbergers naked body seemed more realistic. And you have to understand, I might legit be partially retarded.

Now for something that Pisses me Off! Why the fuck does spellcheck tell me that "internet" needs to be capitalized? Is it a god damn country?! I'm usually so blazed when I type this that I stare at the word for a fucking hour trying to figure out where I screwed up. Then I re-type it six times the exact same way. Fuck you Al Gore!

Jordan

Lebron you are a son. I have eased up withy my Michael Jordan hate and will now admit he was the greatest b-ball player of all time and give him the respect he deserves. I was a bitter Knicks fan and he represented our worst enemy. The single reason we did not have a championship with that score of players. After this whole Lebron James fiasco, I have a new found respect for Jordan and realize just how bad ass he was. There is no more Lebron/Jordan comparisons to be made, and maybe Lebron realized he is not and never will be Jordan. Maybe thats why he went to Miami.... or maybe he is just truly a beyotch. I also have more newfound respect for Kobe Bryant... I alway kind of liked him but now I love him. I really hope he DESTROYS Lebron.

Spike Lee

Spike Lee comments on Lebron to the Heat. To summarize he says that NBA owners are slave owners, Lebron is going to get murdered, the Knicks aren't scared of the Heat, the MSG crowd will hate Lebron more then Reggie Miller, and that the whole thing was one giant set-up. I agree 100 percent.

Great Quotes

"Some people think they should go to heaven but NOT have to die to get there."

Dan Gilbert, Owner of Cavaliers, speaking on Lebron James departure

LEBRON JAMES

Greatest IMD Pages

Cyrus

When you read about screenplays or take classes, you will often hear about a story suffering from "Second Act Problems". Well in the case of "Cyrus", you have a story that suffers slightly from "Third Act Problems". Not saying the end is poorly written, it is just very predictable. With that out of the way, the rest of the film is pretty much spot on. You have great acting, unique camerawork, and an amazing score that all blends for a great motion picture. Go see this movie now... I want a lot more comedies like this. Jonah Hill gives a performance so creepy that it hovers around "Norman Bates" territory. 3 out of 4 stars.

One of the worst people on earth...

M. Night Shallyham is a hack. He is one of the worst directors walking the earth. "The Happening" was probably the worst film I have ever seen... I say "was" because I have not seen "The Last Airbender" yet. Based on the reviews it is receiving, it might take that title.

Now I know a lot of you are thinking, "Sixth Sense was pretty good." Really? Go back and re-watch it. Ray Charles could see that twist ending coming a mile away and he's blind and dead. To make it worse, that whole plot was stolen from an episode of Nickelodeon's "Are You Afraid of the Dark?". HACK!

M. Night's movies are basically really bad 2 hour long "Twilight Zone" episodes. When Night writes a film, he probably comes up with the surprise twist first and writes the film around that. The problem is he is no Hitchcock, and his plants for the twist are so blatantly obvious. Look at "Signs".... the young daughter leaves half empty glasses of water all around the house. Gee... you think that is going to lead to something? Why does she do this? Because the aliens are allergic to water.... Even though they decide to attack a planet that mainly consists of water. And who is the first character in the film wise enough to point out that water might be the weakness? Well it's M. Night himself. And what race of people are the first to defeat the aliens via water? The Indians... and not the cool Native American kind.

That's another problem with M. Night. He is so fucking arrogant. Every film has his name prominently displayed before it like he is Spike Lee or something. The main advertising for "The Happening" was that it was M. Night's first R-rated film. And he always appears in his films as this all knowing character. In "The Lady in the Water", they were looking for the most prolific writer of our generation who will positively change the earth with his teachings. Guess who plays this character? M. Night. What an arrogant prick. But then again I somewhat enjoy watching his films. It is like watching the ultimate train wreck. His awful work is the fuel to my fire of hatred. If he did not come off as so pretentious and arrogant, I would even feel bad for the guy.

Great Quotes

“I am going to come and burn the fucking house down… but you will blow me first.”

- Mel Gibson

Who is that Italian Man?

Time for a new game here at the blog... it's called "Who is this Italian Man?"

Who is that Italian man? Look at the schnozz. No it's not DJ Pauly D or any other member of the "Jersey Shore". It is not a screenshot of Luigi from the new "Super Mario" game.

Give up? It is....

Lady Gaga. I wish I was making that up, but sadly I am not.

The Blueprint

What has happened to me? Has my love for the Knicks really come to an end? Everyday I find myself rooting more and more for the Brooklyn Nets. That Russian owner has a crazy swag, he rolls around with Jay-Z, and the coach is the bad-ass Avery Johnson... what's not to like? Now I just heard that the Knicks management flew to the meeting in a G4 jet thinking they were Joe Cool. Too bad that the Nets arrived in a fucking G5 Jet. Jay-Z also put up a huge Nets billboard that read "Blueprint for Success" with him and the Russian gazillionaire near the Knicks offices. HA HA HA HA! And what did the Knicks do to counteract? They complained to the league. Which team is from New York here? It sure seems like the Nets have captured that New York attitude.

The whole time Lebron was meeting with the Knicks he was probably texting Jay-Z. As soon as Dolan and D'Antoni walked out of the meeting, Lebron and his boys probably burst out laughing. "Yeah... I'm really going to sign with them fuckers. The one is a cripple". Also after the meeting with the Nets, Jay hung around for an extra meeting when everyone left.

The Nets bringing in Jay-Z as owner was one of the most genius moves of all time. If you ask half of these NBA players who they idolize and look up to, I bet the answer would be Jay. Watch in 2 Years.. The Nets are going to be the basketball team in this city. The Knicks are still not be taking serious due to the whole Isiah Thomas era. I will be buying my Brooklyn Nets Lebron James jersey.

However.... what would really be the most ideal situation for me would be to wait a year and for the Knicks to bring in Carmello Anthony and Chris Paul... and somehow if we can get Artest, who represents New York better then anyone else. The Knicks shouldn't have Lebron James... they should have the bruisers and the outcasts and wind up beating Lebron in the playoffs. Basically lets re-create 1994 and cast Lebron as Jordan.

BREAKING NEWS

FROM RADAR ONLINE:

Mel Gibson told the mother of his love child that the way she was dressed would get her “raped by a pack of n***ers,”Radar Online has learned exclusively.
Mel’s disgusting words are on audio tape.
Radar has heard the tape, which also includes Mel telling Oksana he will burn down her home.
“You’re an embarrassment to me,” Mel tells her at one point.
“You look like a f***ing pig in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of n***ers, it will be your fault.”
Mel’s profane outbursts are littered with references to Oksana being a “whore” and “c**t”.
In another tirade, Mel tells Oksana: “How dare you act like such a bitch when I have been so f**king nice.”
He warns, “I am going to come and burn the f**king house down… but you will blow me first.”