Google Yourself

What do you get when you "Google Image Search" yourself?

Tha Metz

Watching Kate Hudson on "Inside the Actors Studio". She is pretty cool... her "dad" is friggin Kurt Russell. Kurt Russell is the man. Heres something I found pretty funny which I bet you didn't know. Kate used to date world renowned super villian of the New York Yankees, A-Fraud, A-Roid, Gay-Rod, Alex-Never Be Jeter-Rodriguez. Anyway she has a brother named "Boston". Isn't that ironic. The 2 main reasons the Yankees won the World Series is because of Kate Hudson and Matsui, and now they are both gone. I hear the Mets are going to be really good this year. Actually I didn't fucking hear that. I heard they are going to fucking suck. They should change their name to "Tha Metz" and embrace a new urban "thug" image. You might beat them but they are going to fight you... maybe shank you.

Nightmare Factory

Actors

Acting with James Franco Episode 2: "Green Screen" from James Franco

There are 2 actors I think are poised to break out and have Oscar worthy performances. One is James Franco and the other is Mos Def. Both have an undeniable charisma and seem to take their craft very seriously. I remember reading a Franco interview where he was cast in Freaks and Geeks and how he prepared for the role. He traveled across country to the writers old high school and spent a couple of days there. The weird thing is none of this was known or even suggested by the writer. Right now he's doing soap operas on "General Hospital". Why? No one knows for certain. There's a rumor its for some film project but he claims its just for the experience. Supposedly someone said soap-operas are really hard to do and he decided to try it... Oh and his character is named Franco.. real original.

As for Mos Def he is just an awesome character actor. If given the right role I feel he will impress a LOT of people. I get a Jamie Foxx vibe from him and he just needs that "Ray" role to really break out. I would invest in either one of these guys.

DJ Pauly D

HA HA HA HA! So I wanted to see if this DJ Pauly D from "Jersey Shore" was an actual DJ and found this video online. He is the WORST DJ I have ever heard and has no sense of sound whats so ever. Is this is DJ'ing then apparently when I'm drunk playing with a soundboard... I'm DJ'ing. I'm saying this kid really knows what he's doing and is a comedic genius or he really is this fucking dumb.

Pauly D

This kid is a comedic genius and he doesn't even know it.

Textin Tiger

So apparently Tiger Woods text messaged one of his hoes the line, "You are wrong I'm Bone Thugs in Harmon." Huh? Is Tiger a big Bone Thugs -N- Harmony fan, and did he purposely spell it wrong to make himself seem more Asian. Reading his texts Tiger seems to have a problem with being black. Here are some of his best texts...

Tiger: what kind of present your naked body

Tiger: now that's hot so who is your new boy toy

Tiger: I will wear you out soon

Tiger: quiet and secretively we will always be together

Tiger: when was the last time you got laid (NOTE: I hate when Tiger randomly texts me this)

Jaimee: very true ... I only watch football

Tiger: Figured you would say that. Big black guys.

Jaimee: u are my first, last and only black guy! U should feel special

Tiger: why do I not believe that?

Tiger: don't text me back till tomorrow morning. I have to many people around me right now

Tiger: send me something very naughty (NOTE: I hate when he sends me this too)

Tiger: go to the bathroom and take it

Tiger: Because I'm blasian :)

Russell Grant

Well I know what I'm getting for Christmas... Not that I own a Nintendo DS but that doesn't mean I cant support my favorite Astrologist Russell Grant.

Media Paper

So I take some sort of Media course. I've probably been to it twice this whole semester and have no idea what the course even covers. I haven't bought the textbooks yet even though tomorrow is my last day of class. So I had to write this 10 page paper on God knows what and I just made up a whole lot of Crazy and spewed it onto some paper. If this class was called "Incoherent Schizophrenic Ramblings" I would probably get an A. Here is my intro and outro like a rap CD. I'm particularly proud of my outro. The paper is titled, "A.D.D. U.S.A"

P.S. I dont believe in proofreading or spell check. You either know it or blow it.

INTRO:

You see it everywhere you look. Americans walking in a hypnotic state with eyes locked on their cell phones. People walking down the street yelling at nothing with a blue-tooth device in their ear. Someone struggling to steer their car, barely staying in their lane, while trying to text message the very important and urgent question of, “Wat R U Doing 2Nite?” People spending hours upon hours watching a man getting hit in the testicals on Youtube. A kid who’s day mostly consists of shooting people to death in his favorite video game; and the rest is spent watching people getting shot on the television. What is technology doing to this country? Between the television and the internet, most children are exposed to just about everything by the age of 14. There is no more need for the “The Birds & The Bees” talk, when the child has already probably seen “The Girl & The 4 Guys”. What long term effect is all this having on our psyches? It physically has also effected us as America is the most obese nation with exercise and activity at an all time low. How has this advancement in technology effected the way people form relationships and interact with other humans. Has it de-humanized us? Has it negatively effected our attention spans, diagnosing America with A.D.D.? In this paper I will examine these topics and really examine what technology is doing to this country. Besides for all the positives that come with it, what are the negatives?

OUTRO:

So has technology led this country to be a bunch of obese, lazy, violent, A-D-D infected, ignorant, perverts? Some might say yes. Others might say it has expanded our life spans, helped our communication, and provided us with a vast wealth of knowledge. I feel the key is to find a good middle ground in your use of technology and the media. Don’t let your world be consumed by gizmos and gadgets and other words starting with “G” that mean the same. Don’t forget that you are human and humans need interaction with each other. Maybe instead of listening to your iPod or checking e-mails on your blackberry, strike up a conversation with that stranger sitting next to you on the bus. They usually don’t bite. Don’t forget to live in the here and the now. Live in a world of mountains, tree’s, and blue skies… not a world of wires, controllers, and blue tooth’s.

Back to the Future Part III

Ha Ha what a pervert.. watch the whole thing.

Pineapple Express

"Pineapple Express" is the best stoner movie I have ever seen. It is the most realistic depiction of people getting blazed ever put on film. They don't smoke and then see cats flying out the window and hallucinate. They smoke and become lazy, hungry, and paranoid. For some reason I had low expectations for this film but found it be genius. It had these guys performing action movie stunts the way they would look if they really happened in real life. Extraordinary things happening in very ordinary ways which made it genius. Danny McBride is awesome in it and has basically become the new cooler version of Will Ferrell. And James Franco should have been nominated for best supporting actor for his performance. Very impressed with this film.

YTMND

Here are some really good new YTMND's...

TRANSMISSION BLOCKED

TONY KIDS

RODDY PIPER CHRISTMAS

ZOMBIES

COSBY

THIS OR THAT

Yahoo Ad

What the hell is this Yahoo Ad?! Steroided MC Hammer on a skateboard? Master of the Digital Universe? What in the bluest of blue hells?! Take Charge?! What is this an ad for? Who saw this ad and said, "Its good but I think you should really photoshop a skateboard by his feet.. that will really get across that he's the Master of the Digital Universe."

HAPPEY BIRTHDAY JASON!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!1!!

Fixing The N.B.A

How to Improve the National Basketball Association.

By Michael Scott Thomas Johnston

Dear Commishioner Mr. David Stern. This is my theory to enhance professional basketball in the United States.....

We add the point system from Hockey.

A win in regulation equals 2 points

A win in Overtime equals 2 points

A loss in regulation equals 1 point

A loss in Overtime equals 1 point

Now we add something unique.

Any team that wins by 40 points gets 1 point added to their win bonus

Any team that loses by 40 gets 1 point taken away from their current wins

MY NOTES:

- I dont know if 40 is the right amount (too high) but i think this would spice things up. Games that are blowouts now become watchable and this might force coaches to leave starters in more to get to that 40 point win.

- You would get teams playing harder and not allowing a blowout in fear of losing a point.

- Imagine like playoff time and The Heat are just out of contension by 3 points and they are playing the T'Wolves. DWade is going to go out there not just too win but to completely dominate and decimate this team. Didn't this new rule just make a game you otherwise would not watch into something VERY interesting. Dwayne Wade and the Heat are playing the TWolves and in order to get into the playoffs not only must they win, but they have to win by more then 40. Tell me you dont want to see DWade go crazy on some crappy team just trying to destroy and humiliate them.

EDITORS NOTE: Can someone send this to David Stern for me?

STAR WARS NEW ERA CAPS

Check these out... They are incredibly well made but I wouldn't dare wear one in public. If I was a big Star Wars fan maybe I would cop the Chewbacca one... I take that back.. I would definitely rock the Yoda one out and about.. The R2-D2 hat looks like something you would see that creepy-guy-who-just-watches-the kids-in-the-playground-for-hours-wear. I want to see George Lucas wearing the Jabba the Hutt one. It would look like he's wearing a hat of a shaved himself.

Untitled

-I have two new pet lizards and I would love to tell you their names but I'm sure it would offend some fragile folk out there. One is named after a racial slur for the Chinese and the other is named after a very well known terrorist. I kid... I change their names every day. One is big and one is tiny. Yesterday they were "Christopher Wallace" and "Sean Combs". Today they were "That Fat Kardashian" and "Lamar Odom".

-I think the title of the film "Marley and Me" is very misleading. I went into watching it thinking it was a movie about smoking pot with Bob Marley.

-It wouldn't surprise me if the Super Bowl turned out to be the Chargers vs. Packers. I could see Chargers taking it all if no one gets injured.

- I might have seen my new favorite movie of all time last nite... I will write a review of it soon. it really mind fucked me. My top films are probably "Cool Hand Luke", "Rocky", "Raging Bull", and now this film. This film is only good, nothing bad or ugly about it.

BTW: There are secrets on this blog... for instance, go click on the skull logo on the upper right hand... there are more secrets...shhhhh...

Random Ramblins

I am officially sick of Tiger Woods and his FUCKING. Didn't some guy named Michael Jackson die not too long ago? Can't we talk about him again? At least he was a charismatic enigma of epic proportions. Tiger Woods is seriously one of the most boring people on the planet. I like to think when he opens his closet its like a Pee Wee Herman, just the same outfit a thousand times. Nike hat, golf shirt, and slacks. I remember seeing him at a Lakers game and he was dressed exactly the same as when he is on the course. Heres a spoiler.... Black athletes FUCK white women. Its been this way for years and always will be. Go smell Charles Barkleys dick and you will probably recognize your mothers scent.

I saw the Tim Burton exhibit at the MoMa. It was awesome. I don't know if Burton was a user of hallucinogenic drugs but I would assume his mind was "expanded". His movies for me are pretty hit and miss, with all being visually awesome. Ed Wood, Beetlejuice, Scissorhands are classics. People forget that Burton started with Disney.

Does anyone remember the show "Amazing Stories". It was produced by Steven Spielberg and he directed a few episodes. Its basically the "Twilight Zone". I forgot how amazing these stories were, and am just watching the season on Netflix.

Todays Google image (top of this post) might be favorite one of all time... so far. Ch-Ch-Check it out!

SeXy DaNcE PaRtY

Would you fuck me?! I'd fuck me.