Giving Thanks

We all know Thanksgiving is the holiday of rape. The rape of the Native Americans of their land, women, and food. But its also about giving thanks. It is a time to reflect on what we are thankful for. What am I thankful for?

I'm thankful for uniqueness and bizarreness. I love the fact I know real life characters whose antics could not be written by the greatest novelist. Whose actions defy and logic or sensibility. I'm thankful for torrent websites. Website that have allowed me to have 6,000 songs on my laptop. I'm thankful for DVR and Netflix. I'm thankful for the 5-5-5 Deal at Dominoes. I'm thankful for Peyton Manning commercials. I'm thankful for that image I found up above... that was in the Google Image Search when I typed in "Thanksgiving Rape". I'm thankful for still having never seen the new Indian Jones. I'm thankful for the people who are still alive that should have been long dead due to their reckless lifestyles. I'm thankful for things that ruin sobriety and expand the mind. I'm not thankful for sobriety or the New York Mets. I'm thankful for side boob. I'm thankful for the music Jacko left us. I'm thankful that I will be able to say I witnessed the end of the world in 2012.

Dock Ellis best thing ever

This is a true story and real audio of Dock Ellis from a radio show. This is one of the most brilliant, creative, and genius things I have ever seen on the internet. The talent that went into this is incredible.

Tiny

A picture of my new dog.... we call him "Tiny". See its a little something called irony and everyone knows irony equals hilarity. When you hear Tiny you think this little dog is going to pop out but then its actually huge! HA HA HA HA HA HA! FUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!

Filthy Barney

FAIL's

Dwyane Wade

This is who I want to come to the knicks... screw Lebron

NOW DIE!

I saw this today and couldn't believe it. " Welcome to NY... NOW DIE!" We gonna send them terrorist fiends right to hell....HELL I tell you! I can picture the trial as the judge orders out the sentence... "You have been sentenced to death and then your going to hell....NOW DIE!"

Resident Evil

http://tr.im/retdc

Check out that link... its a trailer for some new Resident Evil game. Its nothing special at first but then things start happening that made me question my sanity. I haven't seen anything like this done on a computer before. I honestly felt like I was hallucinating.

Chimps Galore!

"Our TMZ reporters snapped this shot of Ving Rhames as he was leaving a gym in LA. You can tell he is obviously tired from his long strenuous work-out. No Racist." - TMZ.com

AWWW WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!?!?!

Well hello there sexy. This is a picture of a girl I hooked up with at the bar when I was trashed last night. I just checked her facebook and found out she wasn't as hot as I originally thought.

Just kidding... that is the victim of the Manzee! That chimpanzee ripped off her jaw, her nose, and her eyes.... he basically made that bitch his own personable Mrs. Potato Head. That damned dirty ape! Ah, Damn You! God Damn You all to hell! She spoke for the first time today on Oprah and was hidden under a veil... When Oprah finally unlifted the veil she uttered "fuck me!" and censors completely understood. Since I basically book my trip to hell with this post I might as well go for it all. This bitch looks like she went on Extreme Makeover and asked to be made to look like the Muppet Janice...

Hey ya! That muppet also looks a lot like Daisy from that Bret Michaels show. Come to think of it,I know a lot of whores who like that muppet and I bet you do to....

AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Staple Gun

Had a crazy dream... I got into a fight with some thug and somehow a staple gun got involved. He got some shots in on me but it ended when I stapled his face 6 times. I then went to the hospital to get staples removed from my arm while having an akward conversation with the doctor. This dream got me to thinking... Why havent ive seen this in a horror film yet? What is worse then picking fucking staples out of your face. I remember this wrestler New Jack who would staple dollar bills to opponents foreheads... He was awesome.

Centaur

Walken on the moon

This is a painting of Walken building Optimus Prime. Its no A-Rod Centaur but its pretty good.

GREATEST THING EVER!!!!!!1!!1!!!!!!

Ok this is from the New York Post and is the single greatest thing I will ever post on this blog. I swear to God this is too good and random to be made up. This is how you can tell if something is the truth... if it is so outrageous that no rational mind could possibly conceive it, then it most likely is not fiction. The truth is often a lot stranger then fiction. So without further ado... drum roll please...

A-Rod -- half man, half horse's behind. The Yankees slugger is reportedly such an egomaniac that he placed paintings of himself depicted as a centaur -- a mythical creature who is half-man, half-horse -- over his bed, an ex-girlfriend said. "He was so vain," the unidentified A-Rod lover told Us Weekly. "He had not one but two painted portraits of himself as a centaur."

New York Post

My god... read it again. Let it sulk in for a second. A-Fraud has a painting above his bed of himself as a FUCKING CENTAUR! That is lunacy. Can you imagine being a painter and A-Roid comes to you and says, "I want a portrait brother.... up here all man... bottom half.... horse. Fucking horse man." And then when you can't think this story can get any better there's that last little line.... He has TWO fucking centaur paintings. He enjoyed the first one so much he felt he should have another. My god I cant fathom the awesomeness of this... my head is about to explode.

RAndom Ramblins

Look at the picture... Fucking look at it! Look at it you fucking whore! Oh so now your crying again... WAH WAH WAH! Fucking cry bitch! Cry Bitch! Oh your daddy's going to do what? Fuck him too... I will literally cripple him... make him spend the rest of his life asking which restaurants have a ramp. 

Oh hey... its you guys. Look at that cool picture I posted up above. That is real. Someone really painted that on the street and probably caused thousands of accidents. If I was driving down the road high or drunk (not that I drink and drive anymore) I would most certainly think some earthquake shit was happening as swerve off into the nearest telephone pole or child. How long did that shit take and why does it not get more recognition. That shit is nearly as good as the sixteenth chapel, but I guess just because Michelangelo was a ninja turtle his work got all the fame. BULLSHIT!

I saw this Tracy Morgan quote from 30 Rock... "Diabetes are the white mans myth... like Larry Bird and Colorado."  That should be a quote of the week.

Theres an article in the newest GQ on Zach Galifnakis that actually had me laughing out loud like 6 times. He is a comedic genius like few on this planet and in between all the bullshit mens fashion are some amazingly written articles in GQ.

Worst mistake of my life... I saw an ad on the internet that said I won a free iPhone and for some reason this ad seemed different from the rest. I really thought I actually got lucky and won the damn thing. So I filled out this shit and gave them my e-mail address and house number... Was I smoking fucking crack?! What followed were thousands of spam mail and hundreds of phone calls. It took about a month and years of therapy to go away. Sometimes the phone would ring and I would answer and it would be nothing but animal noises... LOUD animal noises. I dont know what they were selling... but I bought it.

Corbett

Just ordered a Jim Corbett book. Fascinating guy.... He would hunt wild man eating leopards in India and killed one that killed like over 30 people. Im going to start reading all his works and doing the research on him and develop a screenplay based on him. I wanna make a dramadey based on a man eating leopard hunter. For some reason I keep envisioning the final film looking like a Wes Andersen film mixed with that beer commercial of the bad ass old guy thats all suave. Another pain in the ass is I feel this story should be set in the 1940s or 50s. I didnt learn my lesson after writing a script set in 77 and getting stuck doing all language and culture research.