Irish Fest

What a weekend. Out in Long Beach it was "Irish Fest". Or as I like to call it, "Who can wear the wittiest shirt about how much they drink Fest". Another good shirt would be, "If your piss drunk in the back of a hole in the wall pub sucking face with a fat freckley faced whore...the you might just be Irish!"

Anyway the real adventures began on our way home. We had been drinking since 8PM. Drinking pretty hardcore. We traveled in a pack of 6 which had dwindled down to 4 now. 3 of us left a bar and couldn't find our other posse member, whos phone died, and who wound up getting stranded there and living a night as a homeless. Swear to God, he told me his story and its just as wild as this. So now the 3 of us... me, my cousin, and some girl, get into my cousins HUGE white Escalade with 22 inch rims. Definetly not a vehicle that stands out. On a long stretch a BMW burned us and was looking to ignite a race. We backed off and minutes later this guy gets pulled over by the cops. We all pointed and laughed...this is called foreshadowing kids!

I didn't realize how trashed my cousin was until we reached the parkway. At this point he is pushing this truck 116 MPH. We keep drifting way too close to the steel side of the road. At first I thought he was showing off and testing just how close he could get. I called him a dick and we moved on. From out of nowhere from behind we hear the sirens and flashing lights. We get pulled over and my cousin is pulled out, breathalyzed, handcuffed, and thrown in the back of the cop car. They then breathalyze the girl, and tell her she cant drive. The cop then asks me if I had been drinking, to which I replied, "Yes.. Long and a lot". I then blew into the breathalyzer and the cop looked at it with a disgusted look. He looked at me and said, "You are acting alright..you can drive." I was piss drunk and he handed me the keys. I started up the car and drove directly into a street light. Kidding...I made it back to his house...but it doesn't end here.

Me and this girl are trying to get into the house with his keys. We try calling him but no answer. We try every door possible but cant get in. Finally we gave up and sat on the porch. She proved useless to me and I sent her home. So I call my friend and he tells him to open the garage thru the car. Ok, so I do that and enter into the house....

WOOvWOO WOOO WOOO WOOO WOO! Yup. The alarm system started going off like crazy and I had no idea what the fucking password was. Im trying like a mad man to shut it off, and it goes on for about 15 minutes. Then I look out the front window and there are the police. They are now surrounding the house telling me to come out with my hands up. I ran out and pointed my finger like a gun at the police and yelled "bang". They then opened fire....not really. This story doesnt have a great ending. The police did come but I explained the situation. My cousin got out that night with a DWI, and is basically fucked. The moral of this story is not to drink and drive.