There's a big question your going to have to answer. I know you don't like to think about it, but if you don't do it now, the decision will be out of your hands. I'm talking about cremation or burial. What do you want? You want to be burnt or buried. Hmmm....Has anyone else really thought about...I mean like really thought about it? Lets just say, that when you die you are fully aware of what's going on around you. Your like trapped in the body, your soul is enclosed in it. Do you really want to be buried and let the maggots eat at you? So your probably leaning towards cremation now. WEEEEELL. Lets say all this stuff is true, and Jesus will one day return and raise your body up from the dead to join your soul in heaven. If your burnt to a crisp and let some of your pothead friends smoke your ashes, how the hell can he do that? That is a task even to big for Jesus...he can only do beginners magic tricks like turning water to wine. So what is the correct answer? Mummification is a really great option. Keeps the body fresh in a tomb so the bugs don't get you. The best bet however is for the corpse to be shot into outer space in a rocket. Yup.
So I'm going away to South Beach for a couple of days. You know what they say... "What happens in South Beach doesn't stay in South Beach....it comes back with you and makes it burn when you urinate." Hey now.
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