11.28.07

What the Fuck?

When my dad goes to the supermarket, sometimes he sees random shit for sale and buys it for me. Its a crap shoot...cause its either the worse food know to man, or I really enjoy it, but never see it again because the sale is over. So tunite I'm starvin like Marvin, and peek into my fridge. What do I see? I see... Frozen Tyson's Anytizers Cheddar and Bacon Chicken bites. "What the fuck!" Chunks of chicken with cheddar oozing out of them, with bits of bacon cooked inside them. How could he think this is something I would want to eat. I could just picture his thought process..."Well he likes chicken... and he loves bacon, and he is into cheese...he should love this shit!" My dad often buys anything that is a mixture of shit I like, no matter how disgusting it may seem. He figures if I enjoy two things separately, if they are combined, I will enjoy that doubled. This is why I have 30 boxes of "Asshole Pizza" in my fridge. Wow.

I remember one day I'm sitting home relaxing. I get a call from him and I answer it. The first thing he says is "E-Men show!" I'm pretty use to insanity, so I don't even question it and just respond,"ok". He then says, "You got the E-Men show." Now I'm pretty sure he has gone fucking bonkers, and is spewing some incoherent crazy into the phone. "What?" I respond. "I'm talking with this Chinese woman....I want to know if you go the E-Men show." I still had no idea what he was talking about a made up an excuse to get off the phone. It wasn't until I got home that I figured out what was going on. He was talking to a Chinese bootlegger, and she was trying to sell him the new CD of "The Eminem Show". He was calling to see if I wanted it. It is always a giant mystery as to what he might bring home.

BTW Hulksters...the old blog layout was getting on my nerves, so I've decided to spice it up. This is the new Y2K ready blog. It looks hella sexy IMO.