1/29/07

Ok, a quick rant. This should be made a law. A person should not be allowed to throw away another persons left overs. Just now, I was sitting at my computer and I was feeling hungry. My mind starts racing about what I could eat, then all of a sudden I realize I got Chinese food in the fridge. There is nothing I could go for more right now, and I become ecstatic. I race to the fridge and open it up and....where the hell did it go! I search every inch, and its no where to be found. I close the door, walk away and then come back again thinking it might magically re-appear. Its got to be there. ...My dad wouldn't throw it away would he? I open the garbage and there is my chicken and broccoli. Son of the Bitch! Man, I was craving that shit. This is worse then finding out theres no Santa. I became enraged like never before. The rage blinded me and next thing I knew I was standing over my dad as he slept, watching him from the shadows, as my hand tightly gripped the knife. Bottom line is this, NEVER throw away someone elses leftovers, it is a mortal sin punishable by death

Logo

1/27/07

Im gonna give out some free advice. I usually charge for such gems of knowledge. Usually, when an elder is giving me advice it goes in one ear and right out the other. It's not due to a lack of respect, but rather the fact that the times they are a changing. Things are different...How much help can a guy who doesn't know how to turn on a computer give me? Trust me, this wont stop me from giving advice in the future, and telling tales that begin with, "Back in my day..." Shit, I'm 21 and I already start stories like that. "Back in my day if you liked just one song, you would have to go out and buy a thing called a single. We had none of this Napster bullshit!" The key to this is being very bitter and to spew venom. Anyway.....I don't remeber who it was, but someone gave me this nugget of advice. For some reason it stuck with me, and now, I give it to you. It has to do with e-mail addresses. Now I know most of us made them when we were young and stupid, but you really should make a new "normal" one. When your going for a job, and your dressed in your fancy suit, and your talking all respectable-like, and then they ask you your e-mail and you say, "CrAzYaSsKiLLa" or "ShOrTySLuT69" (BTW: That second e-mail is mine, don't take it!) do you really think they are going to hire you? You need something normal people! How about just your name? And while I'm ranting, what the fuck is that up and down lettering? Is that cool or something? I never understood that and probably never will.

1/24/07

Whats up Dudes and Dudettes. Well school has just restarted and I must say this semester is looking like the suck. I try to stay positive, but I have given up. I am officialy sick of school and this is only my first week. I actually find myself growing bored with everything. Im tired of my neighborhoos and I actually think I'm tired of New York. I feel I reached the point where its time for a change. I think I did as much as I could where I am. Maybe I'm just having a mid-life crisis. When things start feeling too comfortable and routine, I get bored and out if it. You need to throw in a little spice, but not enough to the point where it tastes like shit. When life gives you lemons, you suck the juice out, and when life gives you raw meat, you buy a George Foreman Grill and grill. And you got to cry over spilled milk, and if at first you don't succeed, hire someone more capable. Thank you....adios amigos.

1/21/07

So I was flying back on the plane yesterday. As expected, some terrorists started to get a little rowdy, but lucky for the rest of the passengers on the flight, I've been working out. It was boring as hell on the plane and I wound up watching a "I Love New York" marathon on VH1. Wow. Thats all that can be said about that show. Anyway, while I was watching that I messed around with this editing program on my comp and made this rap video with random clips found on my comp. I think it came out pretty good. It has all the normal cliches of a rap video in it: rims, grills, girls, slow motion movement, and of course Tom Cruise dancing. You can check it out here.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXa03Pm8w6w

Quote of the Week: "I have enough money to last me the rest of my life - provided I die tomorrow."

1/16/07

Well I can't sleep worth a shit and I got a plane heading to Florida at 7AM. This will certainly be a red eye. And this is the first time during the break I will be waking up before 12PM. I have become such a lazy worthless piece of shit during this break. I've been living the lifestyle of a vampire. Its funny cause your dying for school to end when your in it, and now Im actually happy its coming back to get my ass back into shape. So off I go, but before I vamos, I want to leave some words. This a quote taking from an MTV interview, by the latem great Ol' Diry Bastard aka Baby Black Jesus aka Dirt McGirt. You make sense of what he's trying to say and you win a prize...


"It's okay though, because its not like a thin line between love and hate. Boy, when them boys sing that song back in the days...I never knew what the hell that mean, and I still dont know what it mean. But I know, thats its a thin line between love and hate, and I know that damn well we are some partyin' mother fuckers!"

The Great Fire

" The Fucking Hotel is on FIRE!"

I was just at the gym. I'm working out and all of a sudden every fire alarm in the place starts going off. I look around to see if anyone is panicing and it appears like no one else notices. Then the front desk gets on the speaker and says to come to the front and evacuate the gym. Apparently a fire broke out in the back. See, this time I casually walked out, and I did that for reason...See, I already had my great fire scare. I was not going to overreact this time.

This story takes place on our trip to Cleveland. It was Fear and Loathing in Cleveland. Everyday, as soon as you woke up, it was necessary for you to immediatly start drinking. These were the rules, and they were not meant to be broken. So anyway, me and two of my friends are chilling out one "morning" (3PM to 4PM) drinking some beers, eating left over Papa Johns, and watching "Real TV". Don't ask me why, but "Real TV" wound up being the only thing we watched on this trip, no other shows. And in all honesty, a fight actually broke out because my one friend tried to change it...he learned his lesson as he wounded up with a bloody nose. Anyway where all chilling out max and relaxing all cool, when all of a sudden the fire alarms in the whole hotel go off. Now we ended up in a "non-smokers" hotel room, not by choice, but we did. My one friend Hoss, would keep "secretly" smoking anyway. Me and my friend Ray would yell at him everytime that he was going to set the alarms off. As soon as we heard the alarm go off me and Ray both instinctly turned to Hoss with a stare that could kill. We both expected to see a cigarrette dangling from his mouth. But he was innocent...so what was causing this? I walked outside the room in my wifebeater and pajama pants to investigate. I'm still not sure, maybe I was drunker then I thought, but I saw alot of smoke coming from around the corner. I ran back into the room, "The hotel is on fire! We gotta get out!" My friends also in pajams looked at me shocked. They wouldnt budge. "I'm not joking! Get up!" The now started to rise to their feet. I walked out back in the hallway. "C'mon!" My friends started to grab their belongings. "What are you doing?!" My friend looked at me, "Getting my wallett." I was now furious, "Fuck your wallett! The fucking hotel is on fire!" I was yelling in anger. I was certain we were going to be burnt to a crisp. Just then, the person across from us opens his door, and has a small child peering out from behind his leg as he stands by the doorway. He see's three guys at 4pm all in pajamas. He see's one guy in the hallway yelling and panicing. He see's two other guys frantically trying to grab all their belongings. He gives me a look like, "What the fuck is wrong with you?" and then goes back into his apartment and closes the door. I stand there feeling like a complete idiot. I look over to my friends, "False Alarm guys."

1/9/06

ITS HERE!

You are looking at the future. Don't even finish reading this, go buy stocks in Apple right now. You are looking at what might be the biggest selling product of our lifetime. That my friends is the iPhone. A sleek new phone that relies entirely on touch screen. And its even thinner then a Razr. It also plays a shitload of music like a iPod. This thing is going to sell like hotcakes...that expression is actually going to change. In the future people will say, "That thing is going to sell like iPhones." This bad boy also has full internet capabilities. Basically this phone is the shit. It's only 5 months away, so you better get ready...your life is going to change forever!

1/8/06

Another lazy day of "winter" break. I use the term "winter" loosely. The days have just been flying by. Do you see that up above? Theres a hidden picture in there that can only be seen with those with the "Magic Eye". Click on it to make it big, then cross your eyes like an asshole and maybe it will appear. If your cross-eyed you will automatically see it without trying. I personally, am probably the best at those things. I can see any one, at any time, within seconds. They say everyone is born with a talent and I'm glad I discovered mine. I heard that when you die and go to the gates of heaven, God shows you a "Magic Eye", and if you can't see the image, you go straight to hell.

MJ At the Movies 2

MJ AT THE MOVIES 2

"Fuck IT!"

Todays movie is Stephen Kings cult classic "It". I searched online and all I could find was the Spanish version cover, so we will refer to this movie as "Es". It has a scarier ring to it anway. I do not like this movie. Bottom line. I don't like that fucking clown....I don't like any fucking clown. This was the only movie I was afraid to watch as a kid. And I'm not saying that to brag...I watched Freddy Kreuger and Jason no problem. I used to root for the bad guys, but this one...this shit was way too extreme. A killer clown?! Thats all I needed to hear. I remeber this actually being a TV mini series. The first half was awesome. "Es" the clown used to live down in the sewer and tempt kids in by giving them candy. Then he would eat them, and spit their bloody tiny sneaker to the surface. Thats nightmare material right there. I was scared shitless. I hate clowns so much, that, true story, I almost got "sick" and didn't go on our 7th grade class trip to the circus. I'm not freightened by them now, but I would rather they not be around. Ok so then I saw part two. And part two of "Es" totally ruined it for me. Its revealed that "Es" is some alien spider or some shit. Lame! He was scarier as just a regular clown! I think the kids defeat him with a slingshot and a stone. Then they ride a bike really fast and the deaf girl learns to talk again. I really think I remeber that last part happening. You people probably think my memory is shot, and this doesnt happen, and the blanket in "Little Toaster" doesn't die, but go out and rent them and you will see I'm right! Anyway as far as "Es" goes...The second half really kills it...

I give it * 1/2 (1 and a half stars)

MJ At the Movies 1

First let me address some controversy. People were outraged by my earlier post about wireless headphones....

ImAdrock@aim.com wrote:
wireless headphones wont become popular anytime soon for a number of reasons. 1. there are no music devices that are bluetooth compatible. 2. bluetooth technology is very expensive 3. if they do make them they would probably look like headset radios. you would need space for batteries and chips.

Phenom430 also explained that wireless headphones are actually available but they look god awful. They don't use bluetooth technology and have a wire coming out the top. Well I assure you that bluetooth technology will become cheaper, every new phone comes standard with it now and all new cars have them too. Its gonna become pretty standard, just give it some time. Enuff of that....Its time for a new feature, I review a movie I haven't seen in ages and my review is based sorely on my memory (which isn't that good)

MJ AT THE MOVIES

Ok... now this movie was one of my all time favorites as a kid. I used to watch this like a fiend, and it will go down as my bestest favorite Disney movie. See, nobody knows this but household appliances come to life when you leave the house....Duh... and they all have different personalities. Some are even a tad bit evil, some are sexually confused. For instance, I think in this movie the radiator was a mean cranky mother fucker (literally, he banged his mother the iron), and that blanket on the cover was like a whiny baby, even though it was mad old. The appliances don't appear to age with time, but are rather born with an age. I know, its kinda complicated. I could imagine the shower having a personality like that drunk homeless guy who wanted to watch my male friend use the toilet (true story). Anyway, some douchebag kid moves out and leaves all his appliances at home including the toaster. Why he left everything? I don't know. Why this kid is even messing around with a toaster at his age I don't know either. So the toaster takes some friends with him and they go to look for the kid....but wait a sec, I dont think all the objects were alive, just the main characters....and why doesn't the radio have a face and eyes and shit? They go on a crazy journey and I think that little blanket gets torn to shreds and killed. I'm serious...I really think he dies...I think I remeber this devestating me as a kid. In the end the toaster makes it back and the little kid is thrilled to see him and says he missed him so badly (cough*bullshit*cough). What little kid loves a toaster?! Wouldn't he miss his blankey, that was torn to shreds and killed, a little more? I dont think the radio makes it either. I could recall him getting smashed up in a back of a garbage truck. Shit; This movie was really violent. This movie screwed me up as a kid too. If I like dropped a dish or something, I would get sad because I thought I murdered him. I was going to say "him or her", but I can't recall any female appliances. Man it would've been really weird and confusing if one of the female appliances was somehow hot. I'd go spoon with the spoon. HA HA HA HA! Anyway this movie is real good, a tad violent but good.
I Give it * * * (3 Stars)

(If anyone knows for sure about details in these movies, leave a comment...I'm curious now if that blanket actually dies.)

1/1/07