3.26.07

Bizarre Asian Man

So I decided to be "fancy" and live the lavish life, and go to "T.G.I.F" for dinner...or as us socialites call it, "Fridays." I'm sitting there enjoying my boneless buffalo wings (What the fuck kind of mutated chickens are they making now without bones?!) and I see a group of people cheering and clapping. Standing at the edge of the table is an old Asian Man with a huge smile on his face and everyone is applauding him. On his head he is wearing a paper plate that is cut out into the design of like a bird. Now this table was like teens to early twenties. This guy must be doing that tamagotchi shit, or whatever the hell that paper art is called...but why is this older crowd laughing and applauding. Anyway, this guy makes his way over to us pushing a cart. I swear to God I've seen zombies move quicker then this guy. (And I ain't talking about these new light speed zombies...that is bullshit! Everyone knows zombies are slow as shit.) By the time this slow bastard gets to my table I can have him make something for my grand kids. I'm watching him as he makes a Sponge Bob paper hat for a kid, he's pretty talented...I'll give him that, but he's also a PERVERT! After the kids, he walks over to a group of teenagers, all girls. He begins cutting away at his paper plate with a huge smile on his face. His masterpiece is then done. Its the silhouette of a man, and the Asian man then pulls down on it revealing a huge penis which this paper man is someone stroking. The table erupts in laughter as curious kids look on only to be scarred for life. When he finally got to my table he sold me this cute little furry thing called a Magwai. He said not to get it wet or some shit, but I wasn't really paying attention.