BUGGIN' full script part 1

BUGGIN’ : THE MOVIE

EXT. THE UNIVERSE

DMX stands before an empty universe. He begins to echo the first words of his song “BUG NIGGAZ”. He is no longer calm as he bounces around rapping and waving his arms about causing stars to form.

He rubs his hands together to form a huge piece of rock. He then makes another and hurls it into the other....causing a big bang as many other smaller planets go flying out of the explosion.

He walks up to one particuallary large rock and puts his blunt out on it, causing it to go up in flames.

He grabs a small watery planet and rubs his hand over it.

On the planet we see grass and flowers emerge from the dead soil. Then comes the appearance of dinosaurs.... Large ones...flying ones. Giant mosquito like creatures emerge from the dirt and glance at DMX in the sky. They then burrow deep down to the center of the earth.

DMX observes the dinosaurs and looks disgusted. He grabs a rock and hurls into the blue planet.. 

The comet hits and the dinosaurs are immediatly wiped out. We then see apes who quickly evolve into humans. Civilizations are built and then destroyed. All of history happens before our eyes in a matter of minutes. We finally see present day earth. We zoom in on one small little ghetto in Bedstuy, Brooklyn. We then zoom closer to one street block with a man standing on it.

EXT. STREET BLOCK - DAY

D-TRAIN, who is basically Ving Rhames, stands at the end of the block surveying his hood. A blunt dwindles from his mouth.

A cop car filled with two white cops slowly creeps down the block. The two cops take notice of D-Train and his marijuana cigarette.

D-Train locks eyes on the intimitated cops.

D-TRAIN
Say something! I dare you!

The cops stare away and quickly drive off.

JEROME, a skinny black male in his 20’s, comes walking over to D-Train.

D-TRAIN (CONT’D)
You see that there lil nigga? The only good cop is a dead cop.

JEROME
Fuck the jakes. Are we gonna ride or what? Ride or die nigga!

D-TRAIN
Calm it with that rapper bullshit. See real niggaz like me walk the walk and shut the fuck up...You should do the same.

INT. ABANONED GARAGE- NIGHT
D-Train and Jerome stand in the dimly lit garage. Jerome clinches tightly onto a briefcase.

D-TRAIN

This that fishscale right?

JEROME
Thats what Ceaser said.

D-TRAIN
Fuck Ceaser.

A Van suddenly SLAMS through the front door and wrecklessly swerves into a pole, smashing up the whole front of it.

D-TRAIN (CONT’D)
What.... this nigga drunk?!

D-Train walks over to the van while Jerome hangs behind him with gun drawn.

There is blood smeared across the back doors. D-Train slowly opens them and out rolls a body to the floor. The body is a Spanish man with his throat ripped out. D-Train is unfazed by and peers in.

JEROME
Oh shit! Whats in there nigga?!

D-Train comes walking over to him with a bag of coke.

D-TRAIN
That perico nigga...

JEROME
My favorite Peruvian Lady.

D-TRAIN
Looks like our lucky day....

JEROME
What else was in there?

D-TRAIN
A buncha dead spics. Mustve had too much tequila or some shit and crashed up in here. I’m a go and get the rest of the coke.

D-Train walks back over to the van when the driver suddenly falls out. He slowly rises to his feet and begins walking over to the two men.

JEROME
State your name gangsta?!

D-Train pulls out his gun and both men point at the driver.

The driver walks slowly and stumbles about. His clothes are torn and he is covered in blood. Finally he falls to the floor.

D-TRAIN
Ha! Thats what you get for being a dumb drunk motherfucker!

BZZZZZZZZZZ! The driver lets out an insanely loud inhumane sound. His skin begins to drip off his body as two giant legs rip out his back, followed by wings. Two antennas(?) rip through his skull, with the remains shattering on the floor. His buggy eyes emerge followed by his long sharp teeth (?). He is now a standing human cockroach hybrid being.

D-TRAIN (CONT’D)
Ugly mother fucker....

JEROME
Did that nigga really just turn into a bug?

D-TRAIN
Yeah... A bug nigga!

The bug emerges from the floor and stands upright. It is about 7 - 8 feet tall.

JEROME
God damn man... I mean I had some big roaches in my crib an shit, but this, this just -

D-TRAIN
Shut the fuck up. I say we let off about fifty rounds into this bug nigga.

BANG! And so the firing begins. After the first 3 shots the bug falls to the floor and is unresponsive. 20 more shots are followed.

JEROME
You think its dead?

D-TRAIN
How the fuck would I know?! You think I deal with shit like this all the time?

JEROME
Well we better be safe...

20 more shots are fired into the lifeless bug body.

JEROME (CONT’D)
Lets get the fuck outta here.

Jerome goes to run out but his arm is grabbed by D-Train.

D-TRAIN
You lost your mind lil nigga? Go and get that coke.

Jerome nods in approval. He runs over to the van. D-Train walks over to the bug body and examines it closely and leans into its face. He then lets out a huge wad of spit unto it.

EXT. JEROMES HOUSE - STOOP - NIGHT

D-Train puffs on his cigar, stopping only to sip on his forty. Sitting besides him is Jerome.

D-TRAIN
Listen here lil nigga....You know the code of the streets.... Its shoot or get shot. And if you eating, you better recognize there a million hungry motherfuckers looking to get a bite.

A mosquito lands on D-Trains arm. He immediately smashes it and stares at the remains in the palm of his hand.

D-TRAIN (CONT’D)
And if you think I’m gonna feed these mother fuckers, then you straight set trippin.... Theres only three things I hate.... Snitches....the WNBA...and BUGS!

JEROME
What is Ceaser gonna do tho? We got all his coke and he aint got none of our money..

D-TRAIN
Fuck Ceaser. Giant bug niggaz are taking over human bein’s bodies and you worried about fucking Ceaser!

Jerome gets up and opens the door to his apartment.

D-TRAIN (CONT’D)
Go to bed lil nigga... and guard that coke better then your fucken life. I’m gonna go settle this bug problem... I don’t like that shit in my neighborhood.

INT. CEASERS PALACE STRIP CLUB - OFFICE - NIGHT

Ceaser glares over D-Train D-Train chews on some tobacco.

Ceaser pours some Jack Daniels into his glass and then stirs it with his finger. He then slirps the liquor off.

CEASER
Bugs?? Ha Ha! Your so funny D-Pain..

D-TRAIN
Its D-Train...

CEASER
Anyone ever tell you...you look like that actor..... Ving Rhames?

D-TRAIN
Anyone ever tell you...you look like a bug nigga?!

CEASER
What?

D-TRAIN
I know a mother fuckin’ bug when I see one... and you’se a bug!

CEASER
Jumping to conclusions can get you killed... You have no idea what we are. You might be seeing this “Ceaser” you speak of on the outside, but on the inside..

D-TRAIN
A fuckin’ bug!

CEASER

Yeah... sort of. We want you to join us. We have already got Ceasers whole crew and we could use some more “hosts”.

D-TRAIN
Fuck you! You stay the fuck outta my hood. We can do this like bithces and continue bitchin, or we can do do this like thugs and slug it out....

Ceaser reaches for his gun but D-Train spits a wad of tobacco into his eye. He then pulls his gun and pops Ceaser with a shot.

Ceaser lets out a huge BUZZZZZ! As the skin begins melting off his face exposing the cockroach buggy eyes. The transformation is beginning to start. D-Train shoots at him again but to no effect. He runs out of the office.

INT. CEASERS PALACE STRIP CLUB - MAIN STAGES

Ceasers comes running out of the back and bumps into an insanley hot stripper named LEXXUS.

LEXXUS
What the hell is going on here?

D-TRAIN
Niggaz is buggin. We gotta get out of here.

D-Train grabs her hand and goes for one of the exits but is stopped by a Spanish Man holding a bat.

CEASER (O.S.)
Get that mooootherzzzzzzz Fuckerzzzzzz!

The man starts to move in closer. Other goons emerge from different areas of the club and walk inwards to D-Train and Lexxus.

The other dancers franctically run about trying to leave. A customer stands up and begins to yell. BANG! He is shot by one of the goons.

LEXXUS
Oh No!

D-TRAIN
What do all bugs hate?

LEXXUS
Bug Spray?

D-TRAIN
Dont got that... what else?

LEXXUS
Gettin stomped?

D-TRAIN
What else?

LEXXUS
Bug Spray?

D-TRAIN
What a dumb ho... maybe what they like...

The men move in closer as D-train makes a roll over to a plug. He quickly plugs in a wire and a huge neon light comes on saying “LIVE NUDES”.

The goons quickly run over to it and hover about it... touching it in awe.

D-Train grabs Lexxus by the arm.

D-TRAIN (CONT’D)
We gotta go!

10.15.08

I usually dont give a damn about what actors have to say about politics, but Matt Damon nails it right on the head about Palin. I agree 100 percent with him.

10.15.08

This image is said to be racist. There was apparently a big problem with it by a group called the UTO. Does it make me racist to find it funny? First off look how that monkey is dressed. He is stylin' and profilin', and staring off into the distance and it obviously looks like a lot is on his mind. His friend appears very sad and the monkey is gently resting one hand on his thigh to console him... his other hand pleasures his testicles.

BTW: On the bottom of this blog to the right side is some cool features and one of them is "Mikeys Believe It Or Not". There is one article on there today called "Heckle Me Elmo", you should definetly check that one out its funny.

10.15.08

Oh man I can't sleep. I just keep tossing and turning in my bed while muttering... "Raptor....T-Rex...Raptor... T-Rex..." Who the FUCK is going to win this fight man? The pressure is really getting to me. I was suppose to write this report and powerpoint thing, but how in the hell am i expected to work when  T.Rex is fighting Raptor tomorrow night. This is like the Super Bowl and Christmas rolled into one and sprinkled with some sex.  I know I originally took the raptor to win, but he might just be too damn small. I know the raptor likes to roll in packs but I'm assuming this fight is one on one. Screw it... I'm sticking with the raptor. He is way too intelligent to lose this fight. I just hope that it goes long and we get our moneys worth. This was the reason I bought cable 19 years ago.... for this day.

FIGHT OF THE MILLENNIUM!

Ali versus Fraiser. Tyson versus Bowe. Johnson versus Bird. Hogan vs. Andre. RAPTOR VERSUS FUCKIN' T-REX! Yessir, the fight of the millennium is here! Tomorrow at 10 PM on the History Channel... on "Jurassic Fight Club", the two best dinosaurs will finally meet in a battle to the death. This blog here is you source for all the coverage of this epic battle.

Many people have asked who would win this fight? In order to make a educated prediction, we must analyze both their strengths and weaknesses. First off, it is very obvious that the T-Rex has the power, height, and weight advantage. However, the raptor is a much quicker creature and a lot smarter. Did you know that a raptor knows how to open a fuckin' door?! It knows how to turn the knob and open the door. Thats amazing! I'm a human being and even I can't get that right every time. The T-Rex also has baby arms, arms that disabled it from enjoying its Newport Lights. Its arms are evolutions biggest practical joke, and all it can really do is dive at you with his big jaw. What I predict is for the raptor to actually climb up the back of the T-Rex and to attack its neck. The beginning of the fight will probably be the T-rex taking some big bites with the raptor dodging. This game of cat and mouse will continue until the T-Rex is tired, and then the raptor will make its move up the back and two the neck. Lets look at the tale of the tape....

T- REX

Length: 40 feet

Height: 15-20 feet

Weight: 5 to 7 tons

RAPTOR

Length: 5 to 6 feet

Height: 3 feet tall

Weight: 15 to 33 pounds

RAP

Rap Music is Good Again

Fuck the radio. Rap music on the radio is shit. Fuck Soulja Boy and ever no name douche using a voicecoder.  If you listen to just that, you would feel that rap is in a very sad state with no originality. The fact is, rap is getting more experimental then ever. Rappers rhyming over Pink Floyd samples, to rhyming over music from Sonic the Hedgehog video game. There is a whole new movement of these "fusion" rappers. Rappers influenced more by classic rock then Run DMC. Rappers who aren't even in the slightest gangsta and rap about playing XBOX and wear skateboarding clothes. The thing is these guys are actually talented musicians and making some real great music. I feel this whole movement goes back to Pharrell, and was furthered by Kanye West and most recently Lupe Fiasco.

XV - One of my favorite of the new bunch. A little more conventional then the rest and similiar to Lupe, but his skills are undeniable. I love his production and he gets beats from some of the best... like Kanye, Pharrell and Just Blaze.

Listen To: "V for Vendetta"

88 Keys - Probably the most unique of the bunch. He samples some of the weirdest shit out there and somehow makes it work. He is one of Kanye Wests proteges, and even though he lyrically isn't that strong, is songs are so damn different and catchy he is hard to ignore.

Listen To: "Stay Up" featuring Kanye West

Wale - He got pretty popular with his Seinfeld themed mxtape called, "The mixtape about nothing". He is lyrically strong with some pretty good featured guests. He is getting somewhat popular and will probably be the first to blow out of this group.

Listen To: "The Kramer"

Charles Hamilton - The ultimate nerd rapper. A small guy who is obsessed with Sonic The Hedgehog. His music is overly catchy and is very accessible. To my surprise one of his songs was just featured in a new episode of Entourage.

Listen To: "Brooklyn Girls"

Monday Morning QB

Are the New York Giants that much better then every other team in football?

No. Even last years Giants team with Osi and Strahan was better. Its just that every other team in the NFL is just not that good (with the exception of the Titans so far). The NFL is league based on parity, and this year it is more evident then any other. Any team can beat any other on any given sunday. Wow I used any a lot in that sentence. What truly establishes a great team in todays NFL is a coaching staff and lack of injuries. The present Giants work on a lot of the same cylinders as last years Patriots, minus the cheating. No one player is bigger then team. No single player is bigger then the team. Tiki leaves, 3 other RB's jump in with big numbers. Strahan and Osi leave... Justin Tuck jumps in. Shockey out for the year? Enter Boss. Even when Burress is suspended... Sinorice Moss nabs 2 TD's. Even though I hate to admit it.. David Carr is a great back up, and the team might not suffer too much if Eli went down. The true genius on the Giants, and next great future NFL head coach, is Defensive Coordinator Steve Spurrier. Bill Bellichick started as a Defensive Coordinator on a Super Bowl Giants and look where he is now. The Giants have all the makings of a repeat and a dynasty, but in todays NFL I feel it is damn near impossible. Todays NFL is not about superstars... like the megastar Cowboy driven league... it is about great coaching and team play. The Patriots dynasty didn't have many superstars and actually failed when it added them (Randy Moss). The same can be said for the Giants, as they seem to thrive with less stars (Shockey, Tiki). Now here is where my problem comes... the Giants are looking to add Tony Gonzalez to the team. Now he is great, one of if not the best Tight Ends of all time. But when the sauce tastes just right why are you going to throw in some more spice? See my drift. Adding him may actually throw Eli off again and be the downfall of this team. Just my two cents.

BTW... make sure to watch that video below... that might be the most bizaare clip I ever posted on here.

10.12.08

What in the bluest of blue hells?!

10.10.08

That looks like our society now a days... mindless and looking to the sky for answers. Here the scary thing... some people like being uninformed and ignorant. Some people are afraid of knowing too much... hell I feel mostly everyone is, that is why people smoke weed, drink, and do all sorts of drugs. To escape from reality. Everyone needs to escape from reality now and then... and if it ain't drugs, its television and video games, sports, taking pictures of feet (!) to whatever the hell else floats your boat. The big question is how much reality can you take? Some people cant take any at all and become addicts or extremists. These are the scariest and most dangerous people on earth. People so devoured by one thing that it destroys their perception of reality. I'm talking anything from drugs, to religion, to love here. When you let that escape become your sole purpose, you can become very erratic.

And you know who else is very dangerous? That person who doesn't smoke, drink, have sex, watch TV, play sports, do any drugs, has no hobbies whatsoever and only works. That is someone facing reality head on with no escapism. This is a very hard thing for any one person to try and do. This is the person that just suddenly snaps and shoots up and office.

Stop looking up to the sky and look forward into a mirror. Crying out for help is pathetic and taking away valuable energy that should be spent doing something positive. The best form of charity is not our money, but rather your time. Welcome to the great Recession people... its only going to get worse. Sit and watch or stand fight. Are you really ready to bend over and get fucked by the Government for another 4 years? Wake up people. This country is going down the tubes. Every great empire eventually falls. And it mostly happens because of an inadequate, greedy, leader. Hmmmm... fighting a war on two fronts for personal gain. The seeds have been planted. Hopefully Obama or whoever can un-dig them.

10.9.08

Shit.... maybe I should watch these elections... Vote for Obama! Vote for change! Also for the first time ever, I have decided I will post the entire "BUGGIN': The Movie" screenplay. Free of charge right here at "The Voices". This might be the first time in history and whole screenplay has been posted on a blog. I hope the Sci-Fi Channel doesn't sue my ass!

BUGGIN 3

EXT. JEROMES HOUSE - STOOP - NIGHT

D-Train puffs on his cigar, stopping only to sip on his forty. Sitting besides him is Jerome.

D-TRAIN
Listen here little nigga....You know the code of the streets.... Its shoot or get shot. And if you eating, you better recognize there a million hungry motherfuckers looking to get a bite.

A mosquito lands on D-Trains arm. He immediately smashes it and stares at the remains in the palm of his hand.

D-TRAIN (CONT’D)
And if you think I’m gonna feed these mother fuckers, then you straight set trippin.... Theres only three things I hate.... Snitches....the WNBA...and BUGS!

BUGGIN 2

Here is another scene from the upcoming film, "Buggin': The Movie". This takes place later on in the film.



EXT. STREET BLOCK – NIGHT

D-Train stands above the fallen cockroach/human hybrid with gun pointed.

D-TRAIN
I ain’t never fuck with nothing with cock
In its name…. COCK-roach!

BUG
Buzz off!

D-TRAIN
Nah… over here its, “Fuck Off!”

D-Train fires a SHOT into the bug. He turns and begins to walk away before stopping abruptly. Slowly he walks back over to the body.

D-TRAIN
And don’t EVER fuck my money!

BANG! Another shot is fired into the lifeless corpse.

BUGGIN 1

As many of you may or may not know, I am a screenwriter. I have been asked by the Sci-Fi Network to pen the script for one of its new original movies.Ving Rhames has been signed to play the lead and the movie is called, "Buggin': The Movie". The gist of the story is that insects are looking to claim the earth. Prior to the comet coming and wiping out the dinosaurs, the prehistoric insects sensed it coming and burrowed deep into the center of the earth. They layed sleeping....evolving. Now it is time for them to awake and re-claim the earth... bad news for them is that they decided to start with the hood. Oh and they can take human form.. forgot that one. Here is a scene from the upcoming film....




INT. JEROMES HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – DAY

Jerome sits one the couch nervously biting his nails. D-Train (Ving Rhames) sits across from him calmly puffing on a blunt.

JEROME
Them bugs can be like human bein’s? What
We gone do?

D-Train reaches over to the table and lifts up a can of bug spray.

D-TRAIN
I think we gone need more of this homie….

D-Train presses on the cap and lets out a slight spray. Jerome immediately begins to twitch. D-Train stares him down.

D-TRAIN
Damn… You buggin’ nigga?!

10.8.08

I don't watch the presidental debate. I feel that the candidates don't answer the questions that are really important and relevant to me. Who gives a damn about this thing called economy, it sucks I get it already. Questions need to be asked like...

"Is professional wrestling real?"

"What dinosaur would win in a fight?"

"What offseason moves should the Mets make?"

"Has work begun on a sequel to the Method Man/Redman classic "How High"?"

"How come the Teenage Ninja Turtles only wear a trench coat on city streets, yet no one can recognize them."

8.6.08

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

This is awesome... not only because its one of the greatest music videos and songs of all times, but this is the literal version. This is the way songs should be made, it makes the job of making a music video that much easier. When you really paint a picture like this, a song becomes more novelistic with beautifulism making it Mozartian and aurorian. Ha! Look at that shit! I just so totally made up like 4 words and you probably thought they were real.

Porn Expo

Here is the video from the porno convention I taped. Whenever I do work in the porn or rather adult entertainment industry i am going to use the alias of Malibu Mike. So this video was shot and edited by Malibu Mike.

8.5.08

Lol... I LOVE the biggie impersonator. "Oh Pac... you alive?! I mean... you safe?"

8.4.08

Wow. It has just hit me that our country is in a recession. Our country sucks right now. I know its shocking, but the USA is not the the tip super power in the world. We are falling into a new great depression. What is sick is that our society promotes people like Paris Hilton and says that if we are not living a glamorous lifestyle, we are not truly happy. And they wonder why depression is at an all time high. The most popular music still promotes a lifestyle of having more money then you know how to spend. Who can relate to this besides Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates? We are witnessing something unique here... America is no longer the top dog in the junkyard anymore. I am not feeling optimisic about our future and am feeling quite angry. If I walked by George Bush and he was on fire I would not piss on him. Take down the president. I want to see George Bush dead... make a statement. I hope the FBI  comes to my house and arrests me.... Make me famous you scumbags. You know you fucked us so hard already. This is my test to how much of the internet is really surveyed. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. I have never seen my country in such bad shape and hopefully never will again.  I am fucking pissed right now.

Ask Sonic

Dear Sonic,

I really like McDonalds, cars, and rims. What should I do?

From,

Lil Bo

Sonic:  

Movie Week courtesy of the Jews

I have off this whole week thanks to the Jews. Yessir.. cause of the Jews. So this has allowed me to watch movies like a fucking mad man and not change out of my pajamas. I'll have some more reviews coming but heres two of them...

RAMBO

Amazing. The HGH has done wonders for Stallone, making him the size of a bear, and actually making it believable when he rips someone's throat out with his bare hands. This movie makes Blood Diamond feel like Sesame Street. Villages get burned, women raped, babies thrown into fire, and children shot at point blank. It really holds no punches, and the sad part is this shit is really happening in Darfur. So Rambo comes and kills about 400 people and then leaves. The storyline is an after thought, but it somehow works. It doesn't feel epic like the other Rambo's, as Rambo never really suffers. He is in full control through out. He isn't captured or tortured. However, it is much more realistic then the previous entrys. Its not going to win the Oscar but it is incredibly enjoyable.

THE FOOT FIST WAY

This was pretty good. This is the low budget comedy that became the darling of Will Ferrell and Adam McKay. It stars Danny McBride who even landed himself a role in Pineapple Express cause of this. This movie is very enjoyable... wehn your watching it you realize the acting pretty much sucks, and the camerawork looks like its done by a first year student. Its low budget, but that adds to its charm. Its one of the better comedies I've seen in a while. Some of the lines are over the top like Will Ferrell but they are delivered very subtle and realistic. Picture the characters from say Anchorman... if they were really functioning in a real world and were toned down. This is why its so refreshing. I would definetly recommend this film. Its not great, but its very good.