12.27.07

Just got back from the hospital...heres some good news. I got prescribed medicine but there is a chance that in my drunken drugged stupor that I might have passed the stone without even realizing it. On Christmas night I was such a drunken mess people thought I was the ghost of Anna Nicole Smith coming to take them on a journey through Christmas past. I think I might have passed it on that day. If not then its still coming and will come on out in Florida.

Well this blog is going to be taking a vacation for about a week or two as I'm going down to Florida to spend New Years. Happy New Years to all you jabronis. Oh BTW, I strongly reccomend watching "Blade Runner: Final Cut". Its a film noir decorated in sci fi. IMO it has the best sets I have ever seen in a film and some of the best cinematography. It is definetly one of the top 5 Sci Fi films. Peace out Beatrices.

12.26.07

Yo yo yo yo Yo! So I still havent passed this god damn stone, and tommorrow I go back to the hospital and the specialist. I'm guessing surgery at this point....The method involves a rusty coat hanger with a piece of chewed bubblegum on the tip. That is then inserted into my dick head and shoved up my uretha. It mite be kinda enjoyable now that I think about it.

Heres even crazier news..Jamie Lynn Spears didn't actually get pregnant by that guy she was saying was the father. She actually got pregnant by a old man who is the producer on her Nickelodeon show. So this kid could be getting set up so this guy doesn't go to jail for kiddie rape. This story is going to be huge, trust me, your never going to hear the end of this, its gonna be bigger then Anna Nicoles death.

Christmas Morning..

God damn! I still did't pass this fucking stone...I drank SO MUCH water yesterday I mustve pissed at least 60 times. Its actually 3 PM right now, and I suppose to go to some family dinner shit, but once again Im on a bunch of painkillers...you would be too if a rock was gonna come out your dickhole! A part of me wanted to pass this on Christmas. You know how if your naughty Santa gives you coal, well Santa gave me stones.

X-MAS

Today is the day that Santa Claus died for our sins or something...Merry X-Mas.

The Day

Its now 5:30 and no such luck. I have now really bad chills, I am like fucking freezing and I have just popped my first oxycodone. I've been drinking an ungodly amount of water like a camel, getting my piss to look like water, which is what they said to do. The wait continues..I think Its almost time tho..hopefully tunite.

The Night....

Ok....the waiting game. Besides the fear, there is a rush I'm getting. Everyone says how painful it is, how bloody its gonna be. I wanna see it, I wanna feel it. Its like that roller coaster. I bet you the pain ain't all its hyped up to be. I've come to notice that anyone that has any sort of pain always over hypes it to make themselves seem more bad ass. I've had third degree burns on the bottom of my foot...that is pain. Nothing can top that, not no stones coming out of my dick. I've been drinking water like a madman all night hoping to pass it...no such luck right now...I'm hoping tommorrow.

BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!

I woke up this morning to see the Giants down 14 - 0. But that wasn't all...something didn't feel right. It felt like the whole right side of my stomach was being stabbed...pretty badly. I tried to sit down but couldn't, the pain was unbearably. This was crazy and it wasn't going away, so I decided to go to the hospital. So I just got my Christmas gift a little early...In the next 48 hours a stone is going to come out of my dick hole. BA HUMBUG! Every time i stand in the front of the toilet I brace myself, brace myself for mayhem....brace myself for the male version of giving birth. The waiting is the worst part....I feel like a kid knowing he has to go get needles at the doctor. So whats the positive? I got prescribed crazy painkillers and I'm gonna walk around like Anna Nicole Smith right before her death. I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared as fuck..but then again I'm not like normal men, my pain threshold is ungodly. I realize this is one of those moments that makes a man. I will tell my grandkids about this experience....oh and heres another fun fact, there is a certain size they deem too big and blast with a laser into smaller one...mine is the next smallest. SO HERE WE GO....

THE COUNTDOWN IS ON!!!!!!!

MJ At the Movies

This movie has been killing every box office record and quite frankly its pretty good. The coming attractions don't really let on to what it is...but it is a zombie flick. Im talking about the "28 Days Later" fast running angry screaming zombies. Although one could make the argument that they are more vampiric...as they cant go in sunlight and suck blood. This movie is actually a remake of the old film, "The Last Man on Earth", but follows the zombie formula of many other films.

Will Smith gives a great performance here, as for the majority of the film he acts alongside a dog, who should win "best supporting actor". In this regard it reminded me of "Castaway" with Tom Hanks and the volleyball.

The movie stalls in the middle but overall is very enjoyable...it does however feel short and could've ran a little longer. Some things aren't really explained, mainly why the one zombie is so much smarter then the rest and becomes the leader...setting up traps and organizing them like an army.

The movie is alot more of a downer then one would expect for a blockbuster, as nothing goes right in Will Smiths life. Now...having researched the book this film was based on, they really simplified it. In the book the lead character is just some average joe. In the movie Will Smith is a senator or some shit/scientific genius. In the book this guy tries teaching himself science by going to the library a lot. In the movie Will Smith hangs out at a Virgin record store renting movies and hitting on mannequins. The book seems a tad more interesting to me, as it deals more with the mental issues the main character goes through.

This film also reminds me of one of my favorite cheesy 80's horror movies, "Night of the Comet". That movie is about two valley girls who somehow survive a comet blast and are the last people on earth, except for everyone else who the comet turned into zombies. I strongly recommend this film as it oozes eighties and has become a cult classic. As for "I Am Legend", I am going to recommend it too, as it is one of the better blockbusters I have seen in a while.

12.22.07

I was just thinking about this....everybody hates Bush now a days, he has no supporters, no one supports the war in Iraq. You ask most people why, and they don't really know, but they say, "Its a goddamn war for oil!" Why are these people so angry? Because its a war for oil yet we somehow have the highest gas prices ever. I bet you if we had crazy low gas prices, about half the people wouldnt be complaining about Bush. People want to see results from this war. There is nothing...no boom in economy. There is no positive for the negatives right now.

12.21.07

Jamie Lynn Spears baby...coming to a dumpster near you!

Here we go...lets talk about random shit.
There is this new movie coming out by JJ Abrams...the dude who did Lost. It is called "Cloverfield" and is filmed entirely by handheld cameras. Everything about this is shrouded in mystery, but it basically is a monster movie where "something" comes out of the ocean and fucks up New York City to the max. I read a review that claimed the tag line should be.. "Its like a pussy that eats you out." I'm amped about this film and also the new Batman. I HATED the new Batman remake, but I mainly felt it was lacking good villians. Villians always made those movies and this one re-introduces the most interesting one. I feel Nicholson was the Joker...simple as that. No one else needs to be the Joker, but if you are trying to be, you CAN NOT try to be Nicholsons Joker. You have to have a whole new spin on it.

My friend got a new foosball table....terribly underrated game, on the same level as pool for me, I dont know why it has been labeled as a drunk frat boy game. I would LOVE to change the image and make it more elegant...something that pool has.

Christmas is a coming...once again it doesnt feel like it, as I am walking around it T-Shirts in 50 degree weather. Fuck Christmas, that shit is for kids. I don't like the decorations, I don't like the music, I don't really like it...For me its just a cock tease until New Years...the real main event. Its all about New Years and Halloween Beatrices.

Britney Spears mom was going to come out with a book about how to raise two daughters. Guess what...it got cancelled. At least it didnt come out and accidently coincide with Britney's suicide...cause that would be kinda akward. Would they have to pull the book off the shelves. Lets change Hollywood. I'm sick of hollywood being trashy and whoreish. I want it be old school, elegant and classy.

Thats it...nothing else left on my mind.

12.19.07

I just heard this great hilarious breaking news... Britney Spears little 16 year old sister is pregnant. Not only that, but shes not taking a dive down the stairs, getting a punch to the stomach, or whipping out the rusty hanger...she is actually keeping the baby! Man...this family is white trash. What a downfall they have taken...the way Britney was advertised as a sweet innocent version was amazing. I thought the sister would be the saving grace...guess I was wrong.

12.18.07

My dad is trying to kill me...
Ok...this post is a follow up to a previous one you can find over here ....http://jbotz.blogspot.com/2007/11/112807.html

The gist of it is my dad buys random shit for me at the supermarket. Well it continued.... First off I have a very unhealthy high cholesterol...runs in the family, bacon is not a wise option for me, yet everything he seems to buy has bacon in it. In my freezer right now are chicken tenders with bacon in the middle and hot pocket bacon egg and cheeses.

So I come home the other night and I'm starving. I look in the cabinet and find a little macaroni and cheese pack, called Easy Mac or some shit. You add water and throw it in the microwave for like 3 seconds and its done...its made for children, retards, and me. So I make it and I begin eating it. I notice something crunchy in my mouth. Dont worry this isnt gonna make you throw up....I look in the cup and see these little brown shits. I look at the case and it says, "Macaroni and Cheese with bacon bits". What the fuck?! What do they put bacon in fucking everything? I got bacon in my god damn chicken fingers, in my god damn mac and cheese! My cholesterol is probly world record levels now.

12.17.07

Michael Jackson is no longer a human being. He is now a mixture of a mummy and a Sith Lord. That is without a doubt the scariest thing I have ever seen. He has apparently had his lips removed now by the magic of plastic surgery. How crazier can he get?

12.15.07

An evening with Roger....

He walked into the locker room glistening with sweat. I nervously looked on as he made his way towards me, unbuttoning his jersey. He glanced in my direction and gave me a little wink. This was the legendary Roger Clemens. "I've been thinking about you a lot lately". His voice was grisly and epitomized manhood. Butterfly's flew about my stomach. He walked towards me and put his hand on my shoulder, "I think you know what I want you to do". He started to undo the button on his pants. I couldn't believe what was happening, "Ummm...Roger....Thats not really my scene and I -"
He dropped his pants revealing his bare ass. There was an awkward silence until he spoke, "The syringes are in the locker...inject my ass with the steroids!"

12.13.07

I was very skeptical about this...but he looks pretty bad ass. I am actually getting kind of amped for this, even tho I hated Batman Begins....The Joker is just too bad ass for this too suck.

12.09.07

The sole reason why my generation is so fucked up is because of 80's wrestling. Go back and watch some of the interviews now...They are the most drug induced schizophrenic nonsense that has ever come out of a humans mouth. Lets take this "Ultimate Warrior" monologue for example. Now keep in mind, Ultimate Warrior is a good guy. This might be the scariest thing I have ever seen, and if ANYONE can make sense of what he is talking about, then you are a genius. Watch this...but leave the lights on.

Doin Thangs

I have just discovered something great...Something I wish I knew about a long time ago. I have found the GREATEST album cover of all time. I remember during this period of time...No Limit Records were releasing crazy album cover after crazy album cover. Each one was more over the top with it's "gangsta". It was mandatory to feature pimp cups, guns, wads of cash, bling, cigars, and cell phones. And back then the cell phones were gigantic. This cover has all that plus one another thing that really pushes it over the "Limit". Enuff talk.....Here it is.....(Click on the pic to view it in all its glory)


Wow...what?! Big Bear is "Doin Thangs" alright. He's fucking feastin with Hugh Heffner bears smoking god damn cigars and wearing jewelry. That cover is genius.

12.07.07

Well....we are getting back to normal here at RR. The best way to deal with something like that is to forget it and not talk about it anymore...

Am I an asshole or just a New Yorker? First off a little info...I HATE the Yankees and do not own or would wear a Yankees hat, I am a Mets fan. Now heres the twist....I am going to Boston next week to visit family, and have just borrowed my grandpas Yankee hat to wear while I'm there. I will become a Yankees fan just to piss of the Bostonians. Is that being an asshole or just being a New Yorker? I think its just being an arrogant, cocky, New Yorker. New Yorkers think they are the center of the universe, and they are. Boston is like our little brother who hates being in the shadow. They are always talking about us...but it's funny because we never mention them.

12.06.07

12.04.07