Don't Watch the Watchmen

I saw the Watchmen last week and I disliked it so much I did not even feel the need to write a review of it. It wasn't that I hated it, as I would have to vent on here about it, it was more that I felt indifferent. I found it boring and dull. I felt it was made by someone who was afraid of offending the fanboys in the slightest and basically did an adaptation panel for panel. What this "visionary" directory failed to realize is the comic wouldn't translate well word for word as a film. It is too speechy for the big screen and there is simply too much happening... the story would really have to be condensed for the characters actions to have any resonance. I'm generally not a big fan of ensemble pieces, as I don't like to jump around too much. This film is jumping about all through time giving you the backstory on just about everyone, and some of it is simply not important with what has been edited out. I'm a fan of the novel, (as much as one could be who basically despises superheroes) but this film fell really flat. In order to make a good film the director really needed to take liberties of the story and broaden something that was way too large in scope for even a 3 hour film. The director made a film to appeal to the fanboys and basically turned off the casual viewers. This is a big no no. the fanboys will see the movie no matter what, even if you completely change the story.. don't worry about catering to them, worry about everyone else.  Another thing that made the novel was so cool was the originality. There had never been another comic like it.... but now we have already seen "Sin City" and "Dark Knight" which stole a lot of thunder. Dark Knight also even touches on the subject of a hero playing a villain for the greater cause of mankind, which is touched on in Watchmen.

I had a strong feeling this movie would be a flop, and after a decent opening weekend I knew word of mouth would sink this ship by the second weekend. Heres the stats: "Watchmen dropped a hugely disappointing 78 percent from a week ago to bring in a mere $5.4 mil." This was truly the novel that could not be filmed... and now its showing that the statement was indeed true.

I heard people saying Watchmen should have been a mini series on HBO and I agree 100 percent. That would have been perfect and ideal and probably would have been one of the better shows in a long time.

BTW Malin Akerman (the chick who gets banged in the spaceship) is one of the worst actors I have seen this side of Nicholas Cage and the Anakin Skywalker kid. I thought she sucked in "Heartbreak Kid" and dont know why Hollywood has this hard on for her.