PIZZA!

I was watching Tom Cruise ramble on about scientology. He spoke mainly non sense except for one point he made. He said when he is interested in something, he does the research. I agree 100 percent and is a main reason I do this blog. I am obsessed with the internet. There is so much to be learned using it. When I'm into something, I love researching it on the internet. There is nothing I love more then pizza. It is the most perfect tasting think I ever ate and when done well is a perfect work of art. There are many different types of pizza...probably some you never heard of...Well here at RR, I'm gonna break each one done as best I can....

Neapolitan - This is basically brick oven style, with all the fresh ingredients, small, and thin. I don't consider it really true and is the kind you find in restuarants.

New York Style - What you think of when you think of pizza.

Sicilian - Them god damn Sicilians always have to do everything different. They go the square route.

Grandma style- Made out of body parts of grandmas. EWWWW. It also tastes and smells like grandmas. EWWWW. But seriously, it is a thin crust sicilian slice.

New Haven style - oblong shape and cooked in coal ovens.

Grilled Pizza -  cooked on a grill and basically comes out looking like a Digiornio.

Bar pizza - Small pies that leave a lot of room for beer, made with cheap ingredients.

Detroit Style - basically a Sicilian with deeper crust and sauce put on last.

Deep Dish - Duh

Stuffed Pizza - Another layer of crust on top of the slice.

Chicago thin crust - thinner and crispier then regular new york slice.

St Louis Style - Basically looks like Ellios.

California style - these assholes piss me off. They use the crust as something just to put stupid 

toppings on. Take your pineapple and shove it up your ass!

Ohio Valley Style - Square pizza with some uncooked cheese put on top after its done. The sauce is really weird and is more stewed tomatoes. Sounds great you douchebags. MMMMMM.

MJ At the Movies.

Cloverfield...... How was it? Some people claim it is the definition of suck, a film with mind numbing camera work, that can dizzy the steadiest man. True? Nope. This aint not Blair Witch here my friends. I remember seeing Blair Witch and yelling in anger through out. At the very end a black guy in front yelled out, "I paid 8 bucks for this shit and I aint see no motha fuckin' witch!" My thoughts exactly.  Well in Cloverfield you do see the monster a lot. And the monster looks like the thing above...that is an artists rendition and it is pretty god damn accurate. Sorry If I just spoiled it for you Beatrice. Ok so the movie starts with typical NYC/Brooklyn yuppie scum being mad emo and shit. It kinda sucks and makes me realize why I want out of this city. Then this mother fucker above pops up and is all like "WHASSSSSUP!" Thats the actual sound the monster makes BTW. If that wasn't bad enough, he also shoots spiders off his body that bite you and make you cry blood. Yup. So what the hell is this monster and why is this movie called Cloverfield? I DONT KNOOOOOOW! No one does quite frankly, probably not even the writer. To me the monster looks crab like with a touch of insect. It appears more alien then anything, not like something that crawled out of the ocean. Speaking of which...this was an early design that floated on the net. 

I actually like that monster now. It looks like something that would be swimming around in the ocean. And it also apparently has a bad case of the crabs that it shoots off itself. Looking at it, i think I prefer this whale looking version. The first looks kinda like a weird dog, this looks like a huge angry whale manatee mother fucker. This one is also a lot bigger. i dont know, the movie was decent...I say out of 4 stars it gets 2 and a half...very entertaining. I would see a sequel that explains more.

UPDATE: Ok...actually the explanation of how the monster came about is out there on the net. I remember before this movie came out like 5 websites were made by the company that made little to no sense. Most were mainly japanese companies. They also created like 20 full myspace pages with music, friends, and comments, all giving more and more back info into the characters. If you read all that and the japanese sites, it basically describes how this evil japanese company found this monster at the bottom of the sea. There are even characters in the film who appear for a second but have major side stories going on on the internet. Pretty cool if I say so myself. Here is one of the films sites...also the weirdest....  SLUSHO!

1.30.08

So had school for the first time today this semester. I'm taking this art class with this British guy who teaches....he looks exactly like Phil Collins. This guy is fucking intense man, and this class that is suppose to be some easy credits, actually looks like its going to be a pain in my balls. Today was about all the different colors, and how everything in the world is actually grey (wtf?). Theres a big problem here....having to tell the difference between all the different shades is hard seeing as how I am fucking color blind. And when I say that, people assume I only see in black and white. Who am I Charlie Chaplin? I see colors, its just that I cant tell the difference between some. I guarantee my "disability" will lead to some funny confrontations between me and Phil....I would give my left nut to know what this "red" is people speak of.

This deli by my house wins the douchebaggery of the week award. Days away from the Giants Super Bowl they put this large cut out of Tom Brady in front of the deli. It wasn't purposely a slap in the face, as it is promoting some kind of bootleg vitamin water. As soon as I saw it I knew I had to deface it. So today Im in the book store and I see this huge black sharpie. On the way home I rushed to the deli, but guess what....the mother fuckers took it down. They must've got complaints or someone got to it before me.

1.29.08

Leeets get ready to rumble! Last nite I went to my first ever wrestling event, as the W-W-F errr I mean W-W-E held the Royal Rumble at Madison Square Garden. Now as one mite guess, for an event like this I made sure that I was as drunk as a skunk....speaking of which, what kinda sense does that phrase mean? Do skunks get drunk? The real highlight of the night however was when I got to see my idol Michael Buffer do his usual "Leeets get ready" thing. I remember reading that this guy pulls like 30 thousand a night for saying that shit. Can you believe that? This guy without a doubt has the greatest job on the planet...he gets to watch all these huge events like boxing and such and just say that stupid line. On the way out we also ran into a totally random Daryl Strawberry...probably looking to score blow. I 100 percent recommend going to wrestling, even if you aren't really a fan. Get trashed drunk and I guarantee a good time. Its like going to the theatre... the glitz, the glamour., and it doesn't bore you to death like Broadway.

1.25.08

Came home, and somebody musta broke in the back window and stole two loaded machine guns and both of my trenchcoats Sick sick dreams of picnic scenes, two kids, sixteen with M-16's and ten clips each And them shits reach through six kids each And Slim gets blamed in Bill Clint's speech to fix these streets? FUCK THAT! PBBT! You faggots can vanish to volcanic ash and re-appear in hell with a can of gas, AND a match

1.24.08

Who you gonna call? Well the Heath Ledger story gets weirder. Apparently the cleaning lady whatever found him dead and who is the first person she calls? Mary Kate fuckin Olsen! Why? What the hell is she gonna do? Score him more coke?! She would have been better off calling the god damn GhostBusters, speaking of which, it is definetly time to rewatch those classics.

Movie Reviews. No Country for old Men is amazing. It has one of the top villians I have ever seen in a film, and to people complaining about the ending, go back and re watch the film. There Will be Blood...not as good as hyped. The pacing is kind of weird as some parts feel like a music video...Its like basically watching a reality show about living on a oil mill. I'm anxious to see this Cloverfield, I heard its great but i also heard the camera is shaky enough to make one throw up. The monster is some crab thing with a whale mouth and long tail BTW. 

What else....2 shows I recommend...The Steve Wilkos show. The GREATEST talk show of all time. Jerry Springers security guard has his own show and it totally shits on his former bosses. I also reccomend Gangland on The History Channel. Some of these true stories are so crazy if you saw it in a movie it would seem too unbelivable.

WTF?!

Heres a quick funny story I thought I would BLOG. A little background info, i drive a steel blue 2004 Jeep. So anywhoo.... I was in the park by my house playing basketball, I'm pretty sure it was the summer and hot as a mother f'er...this was a while back BTW. So naturally I was pretty exhausted, but I will not use that as an excuse for my dumbassness. I walked out of the park and couldn't remember where the hell I parked. This is not the first time I couldn't find my car, I spent many a hours wandering around a parking lot totally convinced my car had been stolen. So finally I see the steel blue jeep, and I hit the open on my clicky and jump in. I put the key in the ignition and nothing. I'm trying to turn it to no success. I then look around the car and see weird letters and other things that are not normally in my car. "Where the hell am I?!" If there was a smiley for "WTF?!" thats what my face looked like. I then looked out the window and across the street is another steel blue jeep, and in the drivers seat is this black guy with the same expression as me. We then locked eyes and I guess it clicked that we both went in each others car at the same exact time. So we both got out and laughed for 36 minutes straight before driving out. Now here is the true question....Can I open any 2004 Jeep with my security clicker...OR...did me and this guy both click at about the same time opening both Jeeps? Its a question the world might never know...and the Jeeps automatically lock, so its not that it was unlocked Sherlock.

1.22.08

Bluetooth - Does anyone really know what bluetooth is? I sure as hell don't. People claim to know, but every answer I get is different. "Oh yeah ummm...it gives you headsets and car". Whenever you go to buy a phone they ALWAYS say, "bluetooth included". And I usually say "good". Even though the truth of the matter is I could really give a fuck. i have never used bluetooth once in my life and I bet the majority of people haven't.

Heath Ledger -  Well he is dead at 28. He picked a bad time to die....From the buzz I'm hearing, he is about to explode when Batman comes out. I'm hearing good things from early screenings saying he gives a great performance. Watch him get an Oscar nod now. He apparently died of sleeping pills, which I kinda like, but apparently this wasn't accidental as he was looking to off himself. its weird, some people die to become famous and some famous people just want to die.

GIANTS! pt. 2

This blog is turning into a Giants blog. Jesus Christ...we are in the Super Bowl! I still can not believe it at all. Can we really defeat the evil-undefeated -making kids mine for blood diamonds-bloodthirsty CHEATERS called the patriots? Well I think so.

I found this very funny. in an ESPN article, the writer breaks down the pre-game show for the Super Bowl.....

"The Screaming Hour"

A panel of NFL experts stops using words altogether. Instead, pictures and symbols of Super Bowl XLII are flashed onto the screen -- Bill Belichick, the Giants' logo, etc. -- and the panelists simply scream at an appropriate volume for each.

1.19.08

Ok so here we go...tomorrow is the NFC championship game, and maybe by the grace of God my Giants will make the Super Bowl. To say that I'm amped would be and understatement. I don't know how, but it is now a reality. This Giant team is one win away from the big show, a team helmed by the doofy but lovable Eli Manning. A team that lost its "best" player last year to retirement. A team with a coach who was on the brink of being fired earlier this season. I want the Pats in the Super Bowl in a rematch from the last game of the season, a game we frankly shouldve won. This should be a fun day.

1.16.08

I give Green Bay credit....they probably have the nuttiest football fans in the world. They take it very VERY seriously. This news story is a perfect example. some guys 7 year old son refused to wear a Packers jersey for the big game....bad choice. So the dad taped him to a chair with the jersey taped on him for a couple of hours... HA HA HA HA!

NEWS STORY

Slow Motion

Every now and then I like to show love to the true poets of today. I like to disect the lyrics of todays greatest artists. I have done this before to Camron and R.Kelly, and now I welcome in Juvenile and the late great Soulja Slim. This is the masterpiece called "Slow Motion"...

[Verse 1 (Soulja Slim)]
I'm a dick thrower, her neck and her back hurting,
Cut throat will have her like a brand new virgin,
Its like when she gets used of it, then you start serving,
Hop on top and start jiggy-jiggy jerking,
Slow down for me, you moving too fast,
My fingers keep slipping, I'm trying to grip that ass,
Keep being hard headed and I'ma make you get on me,
Got a human up disguise but my face is a doggy,
If You loving my bark, let me bury my bone,
I got four or five bad married bitches at home
One of my bitches fell in love with that outside dick,
That outside dick keep them hoes sick, like

Wow...Dick thrower...I never heard that one before. Ok so apparently Soulja Slim is so cut throat and great at sex he makes girls feel like virgins. He's a real shocker...Soulja Slim is actually a dog, the human appearance is just a disguise. He also lives with a bunch of other married woman in his home, either 4 or 5, it is not important enough for him to remember. The problem is that one of those bitches fell in love with some outside dick and got sick.

[Verse 2 (Juvenile)]
Its like I got the world in my palm, your girl up under my arm
She fucked up from the charm,
She love the way the dick stay hard from 12 till early in the morn,
fine bitches if you listening you heared me i'm strong,
If you going through your cycle I ain't with it i'm gone,
you must've heared about them hoes that I beat up in my home,
They wasn't telling the truth baby you know they was wrong,
Now, make it official and drink some of that Dom,
I don't mind buying blue, you riding too, don't be asking a nigga question bout where I'm driving you,
Lil mamma my shit together I ain't jiving you,
I don't think that nigga could do you better than I could do, you know
The Juvenile from cross the street by the derby,
Same nigga used to be runnin' with Rusty and Kirby,
Can a playa from tha nolia get a chance with it,
but I can't bounce with you without using my hands with it

apparently Juvenile beat up some hoes in his home and it has become fairly well known...PSYCH! You know they was wrong! One rule when dating Juvie is not to ask where he is driving you when you in are in the car. You just shut up and except wherever he decides to take you. Also Juveniles penis stays hard 12 till early in the morn...he must be on those erictile dysfunction pillls.

GIANTS!

We fly high and you know this....GIANTS! Unstoppable....Eli Manning is! I can not believe it...this has to be one of the best sports victories I have ever seen and one of my favorite games ever. I can't even talk right now...I lost my voice from yelling like a banshee.

NFL Playoffs

Playoff weekend Beatrices!!!!!! Lets break it down!

Seattle vs. Green Bay - Ok, Seattle looked real good, but everyone knows that they are a homefield team, and take that away from them....and place them in a extremely cold rawkus Lambeau field? Its a wrap! I predict this to be a really close game, but I'm going with the Pack.
Packers 28 Seatle 26

Jacksonville vs. New England - Oh Boy...here is the team that plays spoiler. No one wants to play the Jags right now and the Pats are due for a lose. As long as the Jag 2 punch run game stays solid, and Garrad doesn't make mistakes they could win. I've noticed the Jags jump out in front but cant hang on to a lead, they can't finish teams off. And I think that is exactly what is going to happen here. Jags take a pretty good lead but then the Pats fight back...however this time, they aren't so lucky like previous encounters.
Jags 24 Pats 22

San Diego vs. Colts - San Diego looks like shit. They are not on the same page and they barely beat an injured Titans team. Everyone underestimates the Colts and in this game they prove why they are the champs. Harrison and Manning are going to have a cum fiesta. Harrison is back by the way. I don't see this one being close.
Colts 35 Chargers 17

Giants vs. Dallas - A shootout in Texas. This game is gonna be wild, high scoring. Your gonna see here that Romo can't take the heat. Jessica Simpson aint gonna be there physically but she'll be in Romos head. Also in Romos head will be the vision of him botching the place kick from last year. This is gonna be close and wild. For all the shit I give Romo, the true Cowboys mistake will be a T.O. crucial drop. Giants by a FG
Giants 38 Cowboys 35

1.08.08

I have just become a HUGE Jessica Simpson fan. I always thought she was pretty hot, but she was pretty fucking annoying. But now the stakes are different....She is the secret weapon in this Sundays playoff game. As you may know, I am a huge New York Giants fan, and this Sunday they play the Cowboys. If Jessica is in the stands I guarantee a Giants victory. The fact is that her little boyfriend Tony Romo can't take the heat when his lady friend is in the stands. This year he had his worse game when she was there. The year before he had his worse game when his then girlfriend, Carrie Underwood was there. His women pose way too much of a distraction for him, and even the Dallas fans know this. I hope she is there and they show her on the jumbo tron...I bet you she gets booed out of the stadium. If the Giants can pull this one off, I think they might be Super Bowl bound, and thats exactly what New York needs to revitalize our sports situation. Sports have gotten pretty fucking pathetic over here....So I'm sending out a request to Jessica at this time, cause I got some info that shes a frequent reader of this blog...Please come to the game this Sunday. Do it for me, do it for Romo, do it for New York.

1.7.08

So my laptop is fucking up big time. The fan is as loud as as a fucking lawnmower. When I start up the thing my dad yells at me for driving my motorcycle in the house. Then it tells me to turn it off immediatly cause of a problem with the coolant system. This son a bitch is only 3 years old! So I've been looking at other options right now, and I'm wanting an Apple. The main thing keeping me from it is those damn commercials. "I'm a Mac." I don't wanna be that guy...I don't wanna be that Phish listening, sandal wearing, Starbucks drinking, Volkswagen Beetle driving, motherfucker. The thing drawing me to it is that they named their new program Leopard, and I'm obsessed with Leopard. I want a Leopard print laptop. So I don't know right now...I guess I'll use this "old" piece of shit until it overheats and explodes.

1/6/08

AMERICAN GLADIATORS IS THE SUCK.
I am not gonna lie, I was kinda psyched for this show, thinking it might be half decent. Who didn't like the original American Gladiators? That shit was more popular then baseball. It had the right amount of athleticism and cheesiness. So I just viewed the new American Gladiators that has been getting heavily advertised. It is an absolute disaster...so bad that you better watch next week cause it will probably be the last episode before its canceled. So why is it so bad? The main reason is editing. This is a beef I have with many new action films lately, and the reason why I HATE those fucking Bourne movies. Why must every action sequence move at 1000 miles per hour and have so man fast cuts. Is it purposely to make sure no one has a fucking idea whats going on. Call me an old man, but just slow things the fuck down. The old American Gladiators was filmed like a sporting event and that gave it some credibility. The old Gladiators didn't have cheesy dramatic music and terribly fake sound effects. The irrelevant Hulk Hogan hosts the show but someone has drained him of all his 80's charisma. Besides him is Layla Ali who hasn't mastered the English language quite yet and shows about as much emotion as her father....present day. This show is a train wreck for every standpoint.

HOLIDAY BUYERS GUIDE pt.1

Ok...so now you got some Christmas money and your wondering what to buy. Well let MJ here at RR tell you whats the hottest coolest shit. I know cool and you too can be the man by buying these products....

BRAUN PULSONIC SHAVER - I just got this myself for about $215 on Amazon. This is without a doubt the best electric shaver I have ever used and that R2D2 looking thing is actually an automatic cleaner. Apparently it shoots out some sonic pulses that bring the hairs up to the surface to get the closet shave ever. Its cool now but it will probably wind up giving me cancer.
WII PERFECT SHOT - You got a Nintendo Wii? If your like me the best part of the Wii is the shooting games. Like Resident Evil: Umbrella Chronicles and Ghost Recon. Nintendo released an official gun but it looks like shit...I guess they didn't want to release something that looked too much like a gun with all the school shootings and stuff. So some third party released this bad mamma jammer. Every review on this has given damn near perfect scores and even better then Nintendo's official gun.

LIVING STONES - Have these small kids been crushed to death by falling boulders? NOPE! Those are actually pillows....go to the site livingstones.fr . These things are pretty bad ass, throw a bunch in the room, much better then fucking beanie bags. These rocks are pretty dope. I wouldnt mind them in my room.

2008

2008 is here. I bet you all are wondering what my resolution was....well here it is...I vow that in the yea 2008 I am going to "up the ante". I'm going to intensify every part of my life. Everything I do, I will do as hard as possible...110 percent.

I just got back from Florida and had a great New Years. The first couple of days were amazing weather, about 80 degress. But then all of a sudden it dropped to about 30. What the hell? Did Jack Frost follow me down on the plane?

Britney Spears is in the hospital for being crazy. Who has her in the death pool for 2k8? Is it possible for me to switch?