Storytelling 101

I have this character named Ted Zahn (Mr.Zahn unless you have earned the "privilege" to call him Ted. You can also lose this "privilege").... He is an elementary school principal and is basically a dick..... he is also obsessed with the term "LIVESTRONG" and those yellow bracelets.... even going as far as to make it the school's slogan and requiring every student to wear one. When one student is sick in his office, he tells him to man-up and start "living strong".

Through out the story he harasses the lead, threatening to fire him and barking tough guy threats. He is someone who takes his job way too serious, and is really a wanna-be cop stuck as a school principal.

In one of the final scenes he is beat to a inch of his life by one of the likable main characters. This is where i had a problem with the story. This act is suppose to be despicable, but I realized that none of the audience will really give a damn about Mr.Zahn and if something bad happens to him. Mr.Zahn really does not do one good thing through out the whole story. Why should someone care if he gets beat? This is where I came up with a solution...

In one scene Mr.Zahn is lifting weights in his office. When a character is in their "domain" it is a perfect time to flesh out that character. The way the room is decorated is key too telling an audience character traits. If their is a poster on the wall... the content of it can tell you a lot about the owner. In this case I put a picture of Mr.Zahn with his two twin daughters. Originally I have him plead to the character beating him that he has two daughters... now he says nothing while taking the beating. The fact that he says nothing makes his character seem a lot stronger and honorable to me... and the fact that he has a family at home should ignite a bigger emotional response from the audience. You now start to feel bad for this "dick". I still didn't feel I had fleshed this guy out enough.... it is also revealed in a passing comment that his wife died of cancer a year ago....hence the obsession with "Livestrong". The bracelets and slogan provided him the strength to get thru that loss, and he wants to give that to his students. See, the guys not that much of a dick anymore. So now, when that same character beats him to near death, the emotional impact of that act will provoke much stronger emotions.

Thats storytelling 101

Bonus: Heres an exchange I love from the screenplay...

 John is a somewhat uptight, jittery, intellectual elementary school history teacher

 Seb is a laid back, drug abusing, cursing, strip club visiting, high school drop out janitor who is probably on a bender.

SEB

[Explaining how far along he is in the novel "Huck Finn"] 

"Hucks dad beats him and shit and he fakes his own death or something. It reminds me of my dad.... I should've did that."

     

JOHN

What? Fake your own death?

SEB

Yeah....like 2Pac.