Super Bore

So the "Super Bore" is this Sunday.  I think this is going to be a massacre, and you are truly going to see why the statement "defenses win championships" is so true. I'm probably going to place some bets and I'm thinking of taking the Steelers to win and covering the 7 point spread, probably the over (gotta check it again), and for the Super Bowl MVP to be Troy Parmalalou. Last year the G-Men won me 1k and the year before with the Colts I was one point off with my Super Bowl score prediction. (If you don't believe me, look on this blog at past posts.) 

The Steelers defense is simply too good. They are going to get interceptions and they are going to hit Kurt Warner and cause him to fumble. The Cinderella story ends here.. Im going with the Steelers by 17... So I'm saying...

STEELERS 27

CARDINALS 10

Joe Torre book

Everyone is going crazy about Joe Torre's new book. Well, I have happened to land a advanced copy of said, and let me tell you it is juicy. Some of the things he says are outrageous... simply outrageous... especially when it comes to Alex Rodriguez, or as Torre calls him, "A-Fraud". Here are some experts from the book...

"I don't know if I could really describe A-Fraud in one word... it really depends if you consider Mother-fucker one word."

" He [A-Rod] thought he was SOOO cool because he was fucking Madonna. Thats some old warn out pussy dawg. I hope he catches an STD."

"I rather have that fish from Africa swim up my dick then have to sit in a room with A-Fraud for more then a minute."

" He [A-Rod] would eat the corn out of Jeters ass if he asked him too." 

"Jeter is fucking super models every night... A-Rod masturbates to the thought of Jeter fucking super models every night."

1.28.09

Do you know what a "Rogue Wave" is mother fucker?! I was just watching about this on the History channel late last night at it gave me terrible night terrors. So picture yourself out on a cruise ship, getting drunk, gambling and being a sexual deviant when all of a sudden a 100 foot wave appears in the distance and blows your buzz. Rogue waves randomly appear and hit upwards to a 120 feet, and basically fuck shit up. They hit with a force so hard that the bend open steel doors like sardine cans. These waves were once often thought to be a old sailors tail, like giant squids and Krakens, but they are real... damn real. I could imagine being out on deck smoking a cigarette and seeing this things coming towards the ship. I don't even know what I would.. maybe you should jump in the water or some shit. I love how people are scared of sharks, terrorists, and Draculas when shit like this is going down.

1.26.09

I was sitting around thinking and it hit me.... "Fuck... The stupid Super Bowl is Sunday". I have NEVER cared less about a Super Bowl. I do not want too watch it but feel obliged. I could give not a shit about this game and would be very happy if it was just canceled. And for those of you thinking I'm just a bitter Giants fan... not true at all. After last years miracolous win the Giants could not have won one game and I would be happy. This years is like a really crappy sequel to an Oscar winning movie. You could not have picked 2 shittier boring teams. Two teams with absolutely no stars (besides for Fitzgerald, who lacks personality tho). I would have liked the Eagles vs. Ravens, but this is terrible. I'm thinking of doing one of the most Un-American acts of all time and skip the Super Bowl this year... Yup. Sometimes I find a saving grace in the halftime show, but I dislike Bruce Springsteen too. Everyone is a loser in this years Super Bowl.

I went to hell today. I was at school from 10 Am to 8 Pm, with one hour break. That is inhumane... A part of my soul has died, I could feel it. I am positive now that I have developed ADD.... I think it came about in highschool. It was 4 classes... 

The first class is African American studies and might be taught by the most charismatic, well-spoken teacher I have ever seen. He is mesmerizing and has this swagger to him where it is impossible not to pay attention.... he reminds me of a more ghetto Obama.... maybe more Malcolm X. He has had to have had training in public relations, because he uses too many techniques a politician uses. I would vote for him. 

Then we have investigative reporting. By the time this class rolls around I have put some chemicals in my body (some upper drink) and am bouncing off the walls. 

Then comes the American People 1. I'm still alright and getting by, trying somewhat to participate in class.

Finally its American People 2... in the same room, with the same teacher. This is where my soul dies. I crashed and crashed hard. I fidget around like I have tourettes and stare blankly at the teacher pretending to listen. My eyes must be the emptiness things ever seen and in my head I hear voices yelling the most obscene combination of curse words over and over again. Some of the curses have not even been invented yet. I had an urge to yell out "FUCK!" as loud as possible during the middle of class and honestly had to resist the temptation.

There is no way I will be able to pull this off the whole semester. I will try, but who am I kidding.

One other thing... for everyone that thinks they are a "drunk", I'm watching Intervention and they have this guy on who's a true drunk right now. He gets so wasted he winds up in the hospital and they tell him he has done so much damage that one single drink can be fatal. So what does he do then..... He sees hand sanitizer in the room and realizes it has alcohol in it, so he goes and drinks that. That is a drunk.

1.23.09

MJ Oscars

So Benjamin Button got the most Oscar nods... thats odd... seeing as how the movie kinda sucks and should be called "Forrest Gump 2". Instead of a mentally disabled person learning about life and it's experiences, we get a old man baby or whatever the hell he is. It has some of the same characters (drunk sea captain, love of life that main character constantly writes, etc.) and that naive narration from the main character...  OVERRATED.... that is how you spell Benjamin Button. .. and I'm a Brad Pitt fan... his portrayal of Jesse James is what should of won him an award.

On the other hand you have a movie that deserves the praise it is getting... and that is "Slumdog Millionaire". Whoever was in charge of marketing for this film should be fired, as the previews and commercials were God Awful... they made it come off like some Romantic Bollywood comedy.... I was expecting big musical song and dance numbers. (There is one stupid one during the credits which makes zero sense.) This is a strong sleek film. God damn is it sleek... the cinematography is amazing and the score is interesting and works well. I like this film a lot, but its not the "Best Picture". The Final Act feels a little too unbelievable and fantasy like... the film has a somewhat dark tone and then and then the final act is very different. So what is the "Best Picture" then....

Here are MJ's Oscars....

Best Actor: Mickey Rourke in The "Wrestler"

Best Supporting Actor: Heath Ledger in "Batman"... take Heath out and that movie is crap

Best Director: Dany Boyle in "Slumdog Millionaire"

Best Screenplay: "Gran Torino"

Best Cinematography: "Slumdog Millionaire"

Best Film: "Gran Torino"

1.22.09

Say What?!

1.21.09

The song above has inspired me to go out and film. I dibble daddled in Documentary film making and I think I'm going to make another short film, that will run as long as the song above with no audio. It will be an observational piece.... I'm thinking about maybe something on the homeless.

If I could use copyrighted music for my short film "Found", I think I would use Led Zepplin's "No Quarter" as the theme.

1.19.09

This is why I loved the original Nintendo. It was like reading a novel as opposed to XBOX and PS3 which is like watching a movie. When you played a Nintendo game the graphics were so bad you actually had to use your imagination to envision the world you were playing in. You had to imagine what Mario really looked like, and how fearsome Bowser was in real life. A lot of times one had to consult the box cover art to get a good idea of how your character looked. The picture above is a great representation of how I always envisioned my Donkey Kong.

1.19.09

I would just like to point down to the post below... did I not say it would be the Cardinals and Steelers in the Super Bowl. I thought the Cardinals game would be a smaller point margin but I said Steelers by 10... and they won by 9. 

Watching football today I witnessed one of the most awkward and somewhat tasteless moments I have seen in a while. The coverage of the McGahee hit was one of the most barbaric things I have ever seen. I felt like I was sitting in the Coliseum giving the thumbs up for the lions to be released. First off, that was a NASTY NASTY hit. Everyone knew this game would be physical, but these guys were going helmet to helmet and awful lot. I wasn't actually watching during the live hit, but I heard the sound of the impact and turned to see. Then I saw the replay and knew it was bad... I knew someone was out bad, I saw how McGahee went down without being able to move his arms.

Now here is where I have a problem with CBS coverage. The must of showed the hit 38 times, each time getting slower and closer. It was honestly hard to watch. Sure, they might have taken the sound of the hit out, but it was still too much. You show the replay, but once you realize someone is really hurt, stop showing it again and again and show some respect. I don't need to keep seeing it, and if I really wanted to I could go check youtube the next day. And why didn't they cut to commercial? Why did I have to sit in silence watching people crowd around a fallen player and keep seeing the hit over and over again.

Its the same thing as people slowing down to view a car accident.... Or what pisses me off the most.. when there is an ambulance somewhere and total strangers have to stick there nose in and find out whats going on, whos sick, or whatever the hell else. Mind your fucking business people. If you can't help the situation, stay the hell out. 

I shouldn't have been watching the McGahee situation... yeah I was hoping for the best, but I'm not a personal friend of the guy or a teammate, this is a personal situation and thats what it should be. Take me to a commercial and then give me an update.... this wasn't the thing for kids to be viewing IMO either.

NFL Playoffs

The football is on today... so I thought I would give some picks.... The playoffs lack that special something since the Giants have been eliminated. I guess Eli Manning can now focus on buying multiple Toyota's and the upcoming Oreo Double Stuff championship competition.

Everyone knows what I think about Donovan McNabb... I think he is a terrible, overrated, head case, who cracks under pressure. Then we have the Cardinals. Kurt Warner is a uber Christian and it appears he has the Jesus in his corner. How can you beat someone that might be the Son of God. Did you know that Kurt Warner is homeless because he gave ever cent he owns to charity? He sleeps in the Arizona Cardinals training facility. There is no way you can dislike Kurt Warner... and to top it all off he took a job from a grade A douchebag named Matt Leinart. I hope Leinart never sees another snap in the NFL. Cardinals gonna win and then Kurt Warner will die for our sins in the Super Bowl. This will be real close... Cardinals by 1.

Ray Lewis is a scary man. Correction... the scariest man in the world. He paces back and forth before games like a caged lion. This is one of the most motivated men in the world.  I don't know how you can not be a better player by just being around him. I really want to pick the Ravens to win this, as they are my favorite team thats still left... but alas I can't. 2 main reasons... number 1 they have a rookie QB, he is do to make some big mistakes. Number 2... they damn near killed themselves in that game against the Titans. They better be ready for a game of equal physicality against the Steelers, the number one defense in the league. For a while now I've been saying the Steelers were the best team in the league. Since about mid season I felt this way, and I have a feeling they will beat the Ravens by a decent margin. I will say Steelers by 10.

So there you have it... the Super Bowl will be the most boring combination of teams possible as the Cardinals get crushed and murdered by the Steelers.

Molester Stallone

Molester Stallone - watch more funny videos

1.15.09

Steve Smith of the Carolina Panthers has just gained my respect. For whatever reason, I have never cared for the guy. He always came off very cocky and seemed like a real "Me" player. I was just watching "Inside the NFL" and the coverage of the Panthers/Cardinals game. Delhomme throws his 5th picks and goes sit on the bench to sulk. Steve Smith comes up to him and says, "You could throw 50 interceptions, but your still my guy." Thats being a teammate. Thats a team player. Thats not T.O. pointing fingers. This seemed very genuine, unlike T.O.'s "thats my quarterback!" speech in a very public forum.

Storytelling 101

I have this character named Ted Zahn (Mr.Zahn unless you have earned the "privilege" to call him Ted. You can also lose this "privilege").... He is an elementary school principal and is basically a dick..... he is also obsessed with the term "LIVESTRONG" and those yellow bracelets.... even going as far as to make it the school's slogan and requiring every student to wear one. When one student is sick in his office, he tells him to man-up and start "living strong".

Through out the story he harasses the lead, threatening to fire him and barking tough guy threats. He is someone who takes his job way too serious, and is really a wanna-be cop stuck as a school principal.

In one of the final scenes he is beat to a inch of his life by one of the likable main characters. This is where i had a problem with the story. This act is suppose to be despicable, but I realized that none of the audience will really give a damn about Mr.Zahn and if something bad happens to him. Mr.Zahn really does not do one good thing through out the whole story. Why should someone care if he gets beat? This is where I came up with a solution...

In one scene Mr.Zahn is lifting weights in his office. When a character is in their "domain" it is a perfect time to flesh out that character. The way the room is decorated is key too telling an audience character traits. If their is a poster on the wall... the content of it can tell you a lot about the owner. In this case I put a picture of Mr.Zahn with his two twin daughters. Originally I have him plead to the character beating him that he has two daughters... now he says nothing while taking the beating. The fact that he says nothing makes his character seem a lot stronger and honorable to me... and the fact that he has a family at home should ignite a bigger emotional response from the audience. You now start to feel bad for this "dick". I still didn't feel I had fleshed this guy out enough.... it is also revealed in a passing comment that his wife died of cancer a year ago....hence the obsession with "Livestrong". The bracelets and slogan provided him the strength to get thru that loss, and he wants to give that to his students. See, the guys not that much of a dick anymore. So now, when that same character beats him to near death, the emotional impact of that act will provoke much stronger emotions.

Thats storytelling 101

Bonus: Heres an exchange I love from the screenplay...

 John is a somewhat uptight, jittery, intellectual elementary school history teacher

 Seb is a laid back, drug abusing, cursing, strip club visiting, high school drop out janitor who is probably on a bender.

SEB

[Explaining how far along he is in the novel "Huck Finn"] 

"Hucks dad beats him and shit and he fakes his own death or something. It reminds me of my dad.... I should've did that."

     

JOHN

What? Fake your own death?

SEB

Yeah....like 2Pac.

 The Maspeth without the Meeeeee! Is like the Bible without the Jeeeeeeez! Simple as that. I took some of my "medicine" tunite cause i wanted to see whats up. Some of the medicine goes in the mouth and other is smoked. If you want to be a writer this is what you do...... Get your "stone" on and then go look in a mirror. Look at your self for the first time. Its not your reflection, the drugs have allowed you to obtain the eyes of the stranger. For the first time you are seeing yourself how others see you. The drugs have made you somewhat delusional and now you can finally witness your own fiery spirit hidden deep in the eyes. That spirit is lost when looking into a mirror. Your eyes dont get transfixed to any one blemish or pimple. This is not you looking at your face, knowing every single knook and crany..... this is a stranger staring at you for the first time. What do you see? Do you see intensity. Eyes that burn and look to conquer the world. A read aura that glows about your face. I could suddenly see what I truly am. I saw the youth that I thought I had lost. I found a young fresh face who's eyes are always burning with intensity and who borders on maniacal. I saw youth, will, drive.....fire. I liked what I saw. I liked it a lot. I want to see that everyday. I'm hungry guys!.... I'm just about starving! I look at my face and I can damn near see the hunger bursting through my skin. A fireball stuck in my brain that is dying to burst free and get shot out of my mouth. I'm ready to eat! I did what needed to be done and got my lips wet.... but now I want the full course! You can't give me a taste and take it away from me. 2009 is the year that I finally eat.... that WE finally eat. I can see the dish being prepared from here... very fancy foods all alligned on the plate... A California Egg Roll, mixed with a South Beach Soft Crab, mixed with some petron.... A  lifestyle I have tasted before.... but I just had small portions.... this time i want the full friggin' course!

I wear my desire like I wear my skin. Its all over me, its all I fucking think about it. Dreaming of the creative..... tinkering out a storyline... adding a character trait... making these characters me... breathing as them.. and observing  every little thing about the inspiration... how they walk, talk, and fart! This next film will be dedicated to my neighborhood. This film will also introduce many strangers to come take a visit to Maspeth, Queens, and get to hang out with this assortment of Screwball characters that form "Seb". Thats what it basically is. A film that brings strangers into my neighborhood through on character. If Maspeth and every citizen could manifest into one human being... it would be "Seb". In this film... the viewer is basically experiencing a documentary of the Town of Maspeth by watching "Seb". "Seb" is more then a documentary... he is a character study of Psychology. So basically I'm making a movie tentatively titled "The Janitor", which contains a documentary on the town of Maspeth wrapped up and disguised as the character called "Seb". Shit... I'm changing the name to Sam... cause Sam backwards is Mas....Mas-peth. So there is my film for Maspeth, even though it doesn't take place there. What else can I ramble about here... I am in rare spirits.

......

"The stunning court papers claim Curry, a married father of three, repeatedly approached chauffeur David Kuchinsky "in the nude," allegedly telling him, "Look at me, Dave, look" and "Come and touch it, Dave."

-New York Post
http://www.nypost.com/seven/01122009/news/regionalnews/knicks_sex_scandal_shock_149861.htm

1.13.09

So the Mets have managed to disappoint me in 2009 already. First off the Yankees unveiled this bad ass new patch to be worn on their jersey sleeves....

See.... It's nice, makes the new stadium look cool, has some thought put into it, and is generally a cool thing. Now for the Mets. The Mets version looks as if some person totally forgot they had to design one and made it up 5 minutes before the unveiling. I forgot to add.... this person is not a graphic designer, nor is he all that familiar with Photoshop. It also resembles the Dominoes Pizza logo...

 

Wow... That sucks. That really sucks. How could someone see that and say, "Yup. Thats it! Thats what were looking for!" Look at it... it's basically nothing... and why do both of them use the same colors? Those colors seem really out of place for the Yanks.

Whats up Baby?

"Whats up Baby?" "How you doing baby?" " Thanks a lot baby!" This is how I talk now. I talk like a pimp for the 70's. I dont know how it happened by I have substituted the word "Boss" with "Baby". "Boss" of course being the obligatory word used when referring to strangers while talking to them. I now refer to everyone,  male or female, as baby. I want to quit it, cause i know it creeps some people out, but I can't break this habit.  The way it is pronounced is not simply "Baby" tho.... its more of a "Babe-aay". I think I'm going to just say hello to people with a big "WHASSUP!" like from those Bud commercials. That is really a fad that needs to come back.... "WHAAAAAAAAAAASUP!"

9.12.09

My neighborhood is fucking bizarre... More specifically Maspeth Avenue is crazy. A while back a kid decapitated his "friend" by slicing him apart with a samurai sword. Yup. A fucking samurai sword... Jesus. You can read about that at this link....

http://www.nydailynews.com/archives/news/2004/06/14/2004-06-14_samurai_slayin__collar_queen.html

Then this morning, I found out this dude got his intestines ripped out a couple of houses down from me. Apparently he got into a fight with his girlfriend and she cut his stomach open with a broken beer bottle, she then proceeded to rip his intestines out. Hey... I'm pissed the Giants lost yesterday too, but c'mon now. The dude managed to live too. He gets what he deserves for dating Hannibal Lecter mixed with Freedy Kreuger and a splash of Jason Vorhees.

Gran Torino

I deemed "The Wrestler" the best movie of 2008.... I stand by that claim, HOWEVER, the most entertaining film of 2008 is "Gran Torino". Or is that 2009? Whatever, it is one of my favorite films of all time... period. While watching it, there was not one second where I wasn't completely engrossed. The story is simple, and somewhat cliche, and might not be as deep as some want, but this film has so much damn heart. This film runs on heart and by the end you will be teary eyed, no matter how tough you think you are. This is a film that needed to come out. It should be required viewing for anyone under the age of 25. This film will teach you the true meaning of being a bad ass. Being a gang member wearing bandannas and flashing guns is not bad ass. This film also brings racism right to the forefront.... a topic no one wants to touch on. There are numerous funny racist jokes through out, which you will feel bad for laughing at, but in the end it shows the combining of two cultures. And the best part is Eastwood befriends a different race at the end, but his character is not pussified. He still says all his outrageous things, he just shows a little crack in his hard exterior shell. Eastwoods character is not a true "racist". He's all bark and no bite. This is like a lot of people I know. They might claim to dislike blacks and Asians and what not, and tell racist jokes, but they are not truly racist at all. They will be friendly and talk with any different race around.... they talk this way because I guess it was around them from their elders.

Let me speak on racism quick. I find stereotypes to be basically true for the most part. At the least the stereotypes that aren't just hateful and spiteful. Blacks are good athletes and Asians are smart. I've seen this numerous times, its true. I don't know why black people are offended by stereotypes.... your a great athlete and have a big dick.. thats an awesome rep to have. I know the others around too like blacks are lazy and all that, but I'm white and probably the most lazy person on earth....  so that stereotype is false. Another is that Asians can't drive, well that... wait.... that is true. The point is this... you should be proud of what makes you different. As a white person there is really no such thing as white pride. Instead, we take pride in our nationalities... like being Italian or Irish or whatever. I'm a mutt so I don't have this either. I wish I had a strong culture to be proud of... I guess I just have to rep America. Being racist is dumb and makes no sense. Our differences are what makes this country great. You might think you want everyone to be like you... but if you truly had that, you would realize how much it sucks. Except other cultures... embrace other cultures... experience other cultures... just don't try to BE another culture.... one of my favorite parts of "Torino" is when Clint chews out a wigger.

And let me add one other opinion... albeit a tad controversial. I think the evolution of the word "nigger" is one of the most genius things I have ever seen. You have a hateful word invented by the white man to put down and de-humanize black people. What do the black people do? They take the word as their own and de-venomnize it. Then... as the times change and some whites actually want to be black, they make the word their own 100 percent and it becomes offensive for whites to say it, but ok for them to say it. Genius. And the fact that many white people just can't let them have one word, pisses me off. If you are white do not say the word "nigga". I know you might listen to rap and what not, and you might have black friends who let you say it, but just don't. Don't. It sounds so ignorant and embarrasses me as a white person. That word is theirs, they earned it for the bullshit the race had to go through. However, as bad as blacks had it... Native Americans had it much worse and got fucked a lot harder. I really want to see Native Americans become embraced and respected more, but as a people they seem to passive and quiet.  The Native American culture is pretty awesome, and spiritually on an entirely different level. These were very intelligent people who had a respect and love for life, that is badly lacking in todays world. A big part of me wants to live in the woods as a Native American and smoke from a huge pipe and talk to spirits and shit. And you know what pisses me off... when people call them "Indians". Its so fucking dumb... the only reason they are called Indians is because of that dumb fuck Christopher Columbus thinking he was in India. I love finding out the truth about Columbus and how he was such a dumb dickhead. Columbus actually only landed in the Carribean Islands and took many Native Americans as slaves. Thats all he viewed them as, even though they were very generous and accommodating to him. Fuck Christopher Columbus. I can not believe we still celebrate that racist holiday. I would honestly vote for the removal of that day as a holiday.