New York Mets....I wanna let you know...you break my heart, you insult all my muslim brother in this country. And especial...my brother Mohammed Ali, camera a zoom! I wanna say...you did a BAD thing Mets! Look at me! Mets... you gonna soon or late see me. Hey Bitch Im talking! I wanna let you know Mets, you no good low life son of a bitches...Im gonna come put you, suplex you, put you in the camel clutch, and I'm gonna fuck you in the ass, and then your gonna be humble! You no good sons of bitches! Im gonna beat the fuck out of you! Yo Allah, Yo Mohammad, Yo Ali!
There would be a giant hammock in the middle of the room. One that could fit about four people, comfortably. It would be facing a wall composed of about 6 flat screen TV's. One would be larger then the others and be used to play the Giants, the others would broadcast the other games going on in the NFL. The floor would be composed entirely of glass and underneath it would be an odd assortment of all kinds of fish. Catfish to stingrays..to even a few sharks. It would be a rainbow of colors...similar to someone who ate only skittles for 2 weeks and then threw up. The walls would have artwork on them by the worlds most talented. A huge painting on one the walls of me laying down in a white suit with a white leopard. Some other artwork on another wall done by the guy who does BAPE and did the new Kanye West album cover. Of course there would be a bar, and at this point I would probably be using champagne to rinse when I brushed my teeth. Right next to the bar would be a fridge with a never ending supply of buffalo wings. Onto the bathroom...one of my favorite things to do is to shower. I would have the worlds LARGEST shower. There would be a TV in there and a water proof computer. The average length of a shower for me would be 2 hours. All my work and writing would be done in there. I also think I would have a recording studio in there as well.
THERE WAS BLOOD ON THE DANCE FLOOR! susie got my number and susie aint my friend now she took me under with seven inches in blood is on the dance floor blood is on the knife susie got my number and susie says its right
Fuck-a the Halo 3! Do you remeber when you actually played video games? Not just sat there and watched cinemas. Do you remeber when you didn't have to wear a headset and talk to some douchebag from West Bubblefuck? Do you remeber the mother fucking Brothers Mario?! Huh? Fuck Halo 3. People are waiting in line for that garbage..I swear to god, now a days people will wait in line for any fucking thing. Playstation 3, iPhone, Star Wars, even Harry F'N Potter. I played the original Halo once, and I felt like Ozzy Osbourne trying to work his televison console. After 5 minutes I was searching for Pac Man. I must confess, I like video games...I own a Wii and can not wait for the new Mario...but mainly I'm a sports gamer. I have come to the conclusion however that I prefer 2-D games to 3-D ones. To me video game companies are trying to make movies, not video games...Less story and more gameplay.
Well, Well, Well.... All the new TV shows have launched, and people are getting excited. Am I? Nope. You see, I watch TV... but basically all I watch is sports, the history channel, the discovery channel, or movies on the premium channels. I used to be a die hard Sopranos fan, but they took that from me. Now that I have DVR, it has opened up a whole new world for me...I'm actually going to try watching this show Heroes now...I hear great things about it. Here is a list of the shows I currently record with my DVR:
I am outraged. Everyone knows that the most prestigious award a man can recieve is the "Epitome of Masculinity" award. I made a mistake. A while back on this blog I awarded it to Bear Gyls of the show, "Man vs. Wild". I am now stripping this phony, fake, son of a bitch of the title. It has been revealed that he gets "stranded" with a crew, food, and water..and he is actually 2 miles away from the highway! If I saw him I would build up a mucusy loogey and spit right in his dumb fucking face.
So now onto a real man. The new winner of the "Epitome of Masculinity" award. I present to you....Bret Favre. Hes the gunslinging vet...a man that should be a cowboy in the wild west but was born in the wrong era. He is the mother fucking spokesman for Wrangler Jeans, and while the kids drink gatorade on the sides, he's drinking Budweisers. He just tied Marinos record and led the Packs to a 3-0 start. This ain't no metrosexual...
This is why you shouldn't do drugs kids. Use Macho Man Randy Savage as an example of what happens when you use drugs. This might be the most drug induced interview I have ever seen. Savage is on drugs in this video that haven't even been invented yet. Lets look at some of the funnier things he says..
"Situations develop man!"
"You put me against the wall man!"
"Last night.... I stared at a candle for about 2 hours and clapped my hands together!" (Huh?)
"When I get you down in the ring, I'm gonna make you say it! I'm gonna make you crawl to your knees and say, "please let me go!" and then I'm not going to. Take me off the air! Take me off the air!"
I love how it ends with Macho Man reaching the peek of his trip and yelling at the camera man to take him off the air. No one could tell that this man is having a drug induced nervous breakdown while they are filming him?
BONUS! Continuing with the last post of Joe Pesci, I have found another gem. Did you know Joe Pesci was a gangsta rapper complete with a music video? Of course you did. Well here it is. The MOST gangsta rap video in existence. This is a true gem.
That is awesome. I really love that. It is so well done. Especially when Ernie/Pesci talks about Bert/Deniros head and the puppet actually points at it. This gets me to thinking that Joe Pesci needs to do a LOT more voice acting. Shit, Pesci should be in every movie that comes out. What else is going on...The Tommy Lee look alike wound up winning Big Brother 8, and Kid Nation, or as I refer to it "Lord of the Flies", just debuted on TV last nite. I haven't seen it yet, but the premise is the craziest shit I've ever seen. Like 50 kids 14 yrs old and under start and run a town in the middle of the fucking desert. I love the commercial where it ends with a kid screaming, "No one knows how to cook!" I'm assuming this show deteriorates into cannibalism. I also think the big twist is going to be that one of the children is actually a 45 year old midget, who just got out of prison for sexually assaulting children.
I have come to the conclusion that the worse sports team I have ever seen is current incarnation of the New York Knicks. Not just the team... but the managment, ownership, and everyone associated with this monstrosity. The downfall of this franchise started in 2003 when Isiah Thomas was hired.
Thomas obviously had no idea what the fuck he was doing and decided to build the team around Stephan Marbury, the most overrated player in the NBA and a loser on every team he has been on. The Knicks continued making weird signings and became the team with the largest payroll in the NBA. Despite spending so much, they still couldn't make the playoffs. Things started to look up when they managed to sign hall of fame coach Larry Brown. The team full of egos, decided not to play for him and he was soon gone. I also forgot to add during this time, Isiah Thomas wasted a draft pick on a player who decided not to come to the United States.
So now Thomas becomes the coach and the players run rampant. Do they finally make the playoffs? Nope. But that doesn't matter cause Thomas gets rewarded with a new multi year deal!
Now for the best part! The sexual harassment suit! Isiah Thomas has been doing some harassmentm and making some pretty outrageous claims....man I love this stuff...you just cant make it up...
"In a videotaped deposition played for the jury at fired Knicks exec Anucha Browne Sanders’ sexual harassment trial, Thomas said he drew a distinction between whites and blacks when it came to the B-word. Asked if he was bothered by a black man calling a black female “bitch,” Thomas said: “Not as much. I’m sorry to say, I do make a distinction. “A white male calling a black female a bitch is highly offensive,” Thomas said. “That would have violated my code of conduct.” “Maybe I shouldn’t go there. … A white male calling a black female, that is wrong with me. I’m not taking that. I’m not accepting that. … That’s a problem for me.”
Duh! Everyone knows black people are allowed to call women bitches. But Thomas goes on to also make very racist comments. "Im Isiah Thomas Bitch!" Heres some more good old racism from Thomas..
"I don't give a -- about these white people, I don't give a -- about our season [ticket] subscribers,"
C'mon now...Kramer said "nigger" and he had to go into hiding. I think Thomas should at least get fired for these comments. Thomas is racist. He made a racist remark about Larry Bird back in the day, and one could just look at that team...where there is only one white player.
Marbury also took the stand. He was laughing and having a great time, saying he thought the lawsuit by the "black bitch" was a joke. He also described how he picked up a young intern. He simply drove up to her in his car and said, "Are you getting in or what?" She then got in and sex followed.
YO YO YOOOOO Mothaa Fuckaz! I got to wake up in a few hours and am doped up on sleeping pills while im writing this...so dont expect Hemingway you Gay Le Douches! If you want something informative and informational read the post below...this is for all you Emmy heads...Yeah! Once again I picked a clean sweep of the Emmys. Best new comedy? "Third Rock from the Sun"! What?! Best new show ever? "Heros!" So totally havent seen it yet :-). Coolest actor? That guy from O.C.! Cumming! You see what I'm doing here? I'm making fun of the fags. Yup. I said it...fucking faggots. Fags like Perez Hilton and that guy whining about Britney Spears. Why has it become cool to be gay? Not just gay but more flaming then the corpse of Princess Diana in the car accident. Sorry I left my political correctiness at home tunite. I got a place for fags and its dragging behind my Ford pickup. Ouch. Or they could be biting the curb before I stomp their fucking skull. Just playing! Sorry for the controversy. The point I'm trying to make here is that it's cool to be straight. You don't got to be a flamer to be famous.
There is this "disease" called "Morgellons Syndrome". The thing is, it hasn't been recognized by any medical community. People who "have it" claim that they feel thousands of bugs crawling under their skin and that their are fibers under their skin. It gives people rashes, deep red open wounds. Former Oakland A's pitcher Billy Koch, and his family claim to have it. There is apparently no cure for it. People are even claiming its a govermental disease that is being hidden. The people inflicted even claims that they can see these parasites and fibers.Heres som info from a news website:
"What sounds like a science fiction movie is actually real life for the unlucky people who have contracted the disease which leaves painful sores all over the body. The sores ooze blue fibers, white threads and little black specks of sand-like material. The worst part, patients say, is the creepy and constant sensation of bugs crawling under their skin."
And heres some hick describing the insane shit she did: Becky Bailey moved out of her Austin, Texas home and into a trailer hoping to escape the bugs that torment her. "We ripped out our carpet and burned our carpet and furniture and move out into our R-V and they were still one me." HA HA! Becky Bailey...thats such a porn star name! You wanna know what these people really have? They have a fuckin case of the crazies! This is paranoid schizophrenia. Go to "youtube" and type in Morgellons disease. You will see a lot of videos of arms and hairs under a microsope, and "apparently" you can see some fibers or bugs. Guess what? If you are sane you will not see shit. And I love how one person gets it and then the whole family gets it. Its because the crazy bastard is spreading his crazy bullshit. You hang out with a cripple and you start to walk with a limp. These people are literally pulling shit out of their skin, leaving wounds. I'm gonna post a picture of an infected person...somewhat graphic...
This is insanity. Most doctors even refuse to treat this disease because it is FAKE! These crazies who claim to have it deserve to scracth themselves to death. What got me started on this rant? Well, I just saw the movie, "Bug". Even though it doesn't outright say it, it is based on this "disease" and is a pretty bad ass movie. Heres also a youtube video of a news report on this. The bottom line is this..I bet you, if you make a professional looking webiste, with fake photos talking about some crazy disease, and list symptons...you will get replies from people claiming to have this disease. I am POSITIVE of this.
I was watching Sci-Fi last night and a show called, "Destination Truth". In this show, some dude looks for bizarre mythical creatures like Bigfoot or the Chupacabra. Basically he doesn't find shit...never. Well...I should say, he used to never find shit. In this episode I was watching, the guy actually finds what he was looking for! The search is on for a werewolf like creature in Venezuela or some shit. The creature actually approaches him, and the guy even offers to transform right there. What results is one of the funniest moments in television history.
I just posted a "bonus" blog entry. It was a lost one I found in the basement. It's like one of those hidden 2Pac tracks. You know...the ones they made like 7 albums from. The tracks that 2Pac stored away and hidden in his basement before he died. Well anyway, if you want to view this hidden entry from a while back just scroll down past the NFL Preview.
NFL PREVIEW - AFC "Chad Johnson can outrun a horse!"
Steelers - Much improved from last year and working under a new coach. Rothless should return to form, but they are not a playoff team.
Jaguars - They have no receivers and a questionable QB. Their run game is fine as is their defense. A moderate year for them, with a crowded 3 man backfield.
Chargers - New coach, same LT. More greatness from LT, but not up to last years standards. Rivers will also mature more, and they are definitely a playoff team.
Jets - Good new RB, but same old QB. I predict this is Pennington's last year in Green, and he is pulled/injured by mid season for the back up rookie kid (who is apparently good)
Browns - Uncertainty at every position. Jamal Lewis will do nothing and Brady Quinn will have some rough learning.
Titans - Poor Vince Young. He loses his RB and WR's. They will be one of the worst teams in the AFC.
Texans - Should be improved. New QB. Might pick up 4 wins...5 if they are lucky.
Broncos - I'm big on this team. I think Cutler is the real deal. A lot of their success will rest on the shoulders of Travis Henry. I predict big things.
Bills - They got worse from last year. Get ready for a losing year, Lossman is a bum. That rookie RB should emerge as a possible rookie of the year tho.
Patriots - These assholes. I predict they win all year, but then get upset in the second round of the playoffs. Yeah I said it.
Dolphins - A disaster. Probably the second worst team in the AFC.
Raiders - More garbage. Culpepper is done, bury him already. Worst team in AFC.
Bengals - Very exciting. Breakout year for Houseyourmamma. A playoff team but not ready for the big show.
Ravens - Scary good defense, and defense wins championships. Plus a new RB to be dealt with. McNair has one more good year in him. My Super Bowl pick.
Colts - They are the Colts...amazing team, best QB in the league. No magic again this year as the defense fails to hold up.
Chiefs - No QB. Herm Edwards is a moron. Get ready for a terrible year.
Playoff Teams - Patriots, Ravens, Colts, Chargers Wild Card - Broncos, Bengals Super Bowl Team - Ravens
NFL PREVIEW: NFC "The Bears are who we thought they were!"
Seahawks - Alexander isnt able to get back on his feet and the team witnesses a downfall. Hasselback will also have problems. I predict they fail to make the playoffs.
Buccaneers - Garcia doesn't bring his magic and Cadillac proves to be a bust. One of the worst teams in the division.
Falcons - No Vick might actually help them. I don't think they will be as bad as people project and I think Dunn comes up big.
Bears - The flop team. I expect a very mediocre year and for Grossman to get exposed for the bum that he is. Benson will also flop as RB.
Saints - Pretty solid team. Bush will probly steup up as a premiere running back this year. However, I dont expect Brees to have as good a year. Could be a Super Bowl team, but probably not yet.
Redskins - Not quite yet. Next year they should be pretty good. They wont suck, but they wont be good. A good year for Santana Moss tho.
Rams - My NFC Super Bowl pick. Yup...Jackson and Bulger, and an improved receiving core. The best team in the NFC.
Packers - Possibly a playoff team. It all depends on Favre and how bad he wants one more run. The lack of a great running back might be their downfall tho. Might be able to sneak past the Bears. Their division is totally up for grabs in my opinion.
Lions - Big years for Kittna and Roy Williams. And Calvin Johnson is your rookie of the year. Lack of a strong defense is the big weak spot here. They might just be able to sneak past the Bears and win the division.
Cowboys - Im not sold on Romo, and I don't think they have a good running back. Jones and Barber don't do it for me. Plus no more Parcells. Will probly barely win the division tho.
Vikings - Worst team in the NFC
49'ers - Here is an emerging team. Great running back in Gore. I also like Smith as QB. They should be a wild card team but have a rough division. If the NFC East doesn't live up, the NFC West might be sending 3 teams to the playoffs.
Giants - Not as bad as people think, and better then the Cowboys in my opinion. Second best in their division behind the Eagles. Big year for Eli. I have a strong feeling, and Jacobs proves he's the real deal.
Panthers - Steve Smith is overrated! VERY overrated. And Delhomme is done. No playoffs for these cats.
Eagles - McNabb stays healthy and they are scary good. Playoff good. Defense is there, RB is there...only thing a little shaky is their wide receivers. I have a feeling injuries will bring them down tho.
Cardinals - Improving. Should be a much better team this year. They are almost a playoff team...maybe 1 or 2 years. I expect a good year from James.
Im bored. When I'm bored I like to think about important stuff; Stuff like this.
- The other day I was smoking some marijuana. I dont smoke often anymore, and when I do, I get the munchies like a mother fucker. So I decided it was time for some English Mother Fuckin Muffin Pizzas! I really wanted to throw some pepperoni on top tho. I scrimmaged the fridge with no luck. I found salami tho. This got me to thinking. If I cook this salami will it turn into pepperoni? What the hell happens to salami if you cook it?? Has anyone ever tried this? I seriously doubt it.
- Alaska has straight up darkness for like a month. Am I the only one that finds that awesome? As a matter of fact, I LOVED the New York blackout. I think New York should have a "Black Out" day once a year.
- How great is string cheese. It is addictive like crack coccaine. I honestly don't know ONE person who does not like string cheese. Polly-O bitch!
- Have you ever went to make a call and accidently called someone you haven't talked to in years? And then you feel bad telling them, "Sorry, Wrong person." Its a pretty akward situation.
- God aint perfect...even he makes mistakes. Case in point: The uncircumsciced penis.
-I was at a club the other day and Rob Base was there performing. Whos that you ask? It takes two to make a thing go right.
Its the last blast of summer for me, as I start school on the 10th. These past couple of days Im starting to disgust myself. I'm a unshaven, lazy mess, as I use the excuse of impending school to be basically a couch sloth. I recently bought the "Mega Man X Collection" for my Wii. These are the old school Super Nintendo games, quite possibly the ultimate gaming system, and they are fucking hard! Growing up I was always very big into Mario and Mega Man. So playing these games makes me feel like a big kid again. I played one of the game scompletely, right up to the last boss. I must've tried him 20 times and lost, and like most things in my life, I normally would just give up. But I decided this was something I needed to do. In an epic battle, I finally destroyed him with one little bar of health left. I was so proud I wanted to go wake my dad up. (This was 3 in the morning) I sat back and waited to watch my well deserved ending...Then it happened....The boss appeared on the screen and said, "Now its time for you to see my true form!" MOTHER FUCKER! I played enough games to see this coming, but he was so hard I thought they mite let me pass with one damn form. Nope. This human transformed into a ugly looking bug-demon type thing. My jaw dropped, "Thats what that motherfucker really looks like?!" He then killed me with one shot. This got me to thinking. He looks like a human being but his true form is a fucking bug demon? What the hell is he? He was actually born like that and decided to take a human form? I need to know a back story here. Imagine if you fought someone and beat them up, and then say, "Now see my true form." And turn to a fucking demon. I would be like, "What the fuck! What are you, where did you come from, and why did you pose as a human?" But No...Mega Man is an asshole.
Let me add one more thing to this rant. Apparently they re-made the first Mega Man game and that pic up above is what he looks like. That ain't my Mega Man! Not the Mega Man I remeber when I was 3 years old and looked at the box art. Nope. My Mega Man is a 40 year old Popeye the sailor man in a Rainbow Tron suit. The actual Nintendo box art is below.
(Having re-read this entry, (which I rarely do) I realized this mite be the most poorly written piece of shit I have done on this blog. I needs me some skelws agen!)
What the hell is Labor Day? Does anyone really know what the fuck we are celebrating. From my understanding, it could basically be called "Lazy Fucks Day", or for me, "Monday". HA HA HA! So Labor Day means that you are absolutely not going to do any work....I think thats called being black. HA HA HA! Thats actually a stereotype, and speaking of which, the blacks have it the best when it comes to stereotypes...Lets see...Great Athletes, Huge Cocks, and Lazy...That sounds like a perfect description of me...maybe I'm actually black? Oh yeah and they talk during movies. Where was I? Oh yeah. Labor Day. Maybe it actually means your suppose to do more labor. If its a day off, shouldn't it be called "No Labor Day"? Fuck this backwards ass country.
So we were going over the shot list. Basically planning out every second of the film and were the camera is going to be placed. Basically without giving away much, the main character in our film at one point is tripping off drugs. He is sitting on the couch, while weird imagery flashes and very bizaare lighting. At this point we needed him to get up off the couch. I was thinking about how he should do this. During these meetings I get somewhat animated and act out what the character is going to do. So I'm sitting on the couch like he is going to be doing. Instead of standing up, I decide to slide off it like a snake, or better yet a slug. I was kind of half joking when I did it. To my suprise my teammates loved it. So there it is. When you watch the film and the drug induced character slides his way off the joke, just remeber thats all thanks to me and being a nutty bastard.
