2.30.08

Ummm wow. So Nas is really going to title his new album, "Nigger". Not the "-gga" less offensive version, but he is going with the hard R. I hope it wins best album of the year and the presenter at the Grammys is Kramer.

What do I think of this? I like it. I understand I'm not allowed to say the word and I accept it and it does not bother me. The whites screwed the blacks over for a very long time, the least we can do is as least let them have their own word. I also love the shock this word causes. The only other word i know that still has any venom is "cunt". I hope Nas realizes naming his album this is making a big statement, and I hope his album has some deep content that addresses racism. If the album is just filler pop rap hit songs, then he will single handidly ruin his career.

I own every 2Pac album except one. And that album is "Strictly 4 My N.I.G.G.A.Z". Now for this one the word is an acronym, but I don't know what it stands for. For some reason I felt that this album wasn't for me.

2.29.08

2.28.08

Joe Pesci's contract.... Watch just about any Joe Pesci movie. There are a few things that happen in just about every film. I feel that Pesci writes these down in his contract, and will NOT act in a film if he is not allowed to do the following....

- Break a glass over someone's head. Joe is a rather small guy, but that does not stop him from kicking mucho ass in every film he's in. His patented move however is the shattering of the glass on someone's skull. He does this patented move in both Goodfellas and Raging Bull. In Home Alone however, he gets glass broken over his head.

- Fuck Robert DeNiro's wife. If he is in a movie with Rob, chances are he is banging his wife. In Raging Bull, DeNiro questions him and it is implied Pesci banged his wife. In Casino, Joe Pesci also bangs DeNiros wife. You think Robbie would learn by now.

Dem Jews got the Jewelz

Great Moments in Songwriting...

For those of you that don't know, the epitome of 90's attitude, Sonic, has released a rap album. It is one of the most vile things I've heard, promoting sex, drugs, violence, and murder, and non stop bashing of the gays, PETA members, the church, and woman. One of the most controversial songs is the new single, "Dem Jews got the Jewelz." It is obviously anti-semitic and attempts to touch on the issue of Blood Diamonds. Here is this "masterpiece"....

" (HOOK x2:) Dem Jews Got the Jewelz,

 Black Kids crying,

Cause Jews turn them... to mother fuckin Diamonds!

(Verse 1)  Hooked nose white demon,

Fuck a bitch eat semen,

2 glock nines and a gold plated mack millie,

Buck these jakes that even dare to look silly,

Phony ass n***az just like Milli Vanilli,

Fuck these ho's,

give em a few extra holes,

cause this asshole is in your asshole,

breaking off a nut,

as I gun butt,

Jews and them fags,

cause this ain't no Brokeback,

and Heath  ain't coming back,

Ands that my rap, 

And this is a wrap....One"

Wow I think that he managed to offend everyone with that one. Way to go Sonic, no wonder your single isn't climbing up the charts. I really think these might be some of the most extreme lyrics I ever posted here.

2.26.08

RANDOM RAMBLIN'S DECLARES WAR!

Enuff is enuff and I can't take it anymore. I am officially declaring war on those God damn Truth.com advertisements! I have just seen the lastest one, and they don't try to use shock anymore, now they use Broadway show tunes. Fucking Broadway show tunes to get you to quit smoking. They have taken the level of annoyance WAAAAAY too far now. They must be stopped. Heres a statistic for you douche bags, your commercials cause a 35% increase in people smoking. Am I pro smoking? Not really. I am a casual smoker, and if you smoke you smoke, everyone knows the risk. Do I think the dangers have to be shoved down peoples throats? No. Should the dangers be told by means of show tunes? Hell No. You just crossed the mother fuckn line now homeboy. I will do everything in my power to get these demons off the television, and I advise you to do the same. I would love to put a full pack of cigarettes out on these mother fuckers lungs!

2.25.08

What the hell?! These idiots won the Oscar again?! Three 6 Mafia have won the Oscar for the second time in a row.  I feel there should only be one Oscar and the ceremony should run 5 minutes. This Oscar is not limited to movies. The winner could be ANYONE in the world. If we were to change it to this...the result would probably remain the same...Three 6 Mafia wins again.

I didn't watch the Oscars seeing as how I am not married or gay. Fun Fact: Did you know that the award is named after Oscar De La Hoya? Anyway everyone of my predictions was right. No Country for best picture and supporting actor...Day Lewis for best actor. Now for the controversy...Best Cinematography shouldve went to "The Assasination of Jesse James". Best Direction should've went to "There Will Be Blood". I never even heard of the film that won best music, but I'm pretty sure it didn't deserve it. And of course Three 6 Mafia deserved Best. 

"And the winner for Best goes to....Three 6 Mafia!"

2.24.08

Politics....I have no idea about politics and I really don't care too much. People are talking about this shit lately, and sometimes even ask me questions about it. I don't want to sound like a total idiot so sometimes I pretend to know what the fuck is going on... "Oh yeah...I like that Osama much better then that lesbian woman. But I still think its kind of weird we were hunting him down so bad, and know we are gonna make him president." Do I really think voting is important. Shhh....nope. Not here in New York. NY is democrat all the way, and your one little vote is not gonna change that. Some places your vote mite be important, like in Ohio or some shit, but I'm telling you NOT to go and vote. Your not gonna Die, don't worry, P. Diddy might be a bad man, but even he has a conscious.  Just Say NO to Voting!

2.23.08

Yo  yO Yo! Whats the dealie? Anyway I saw this really funny thing online. Some kind of company takes a modern day photo...they then "age" it to show what that person might look like in the future. Well recently they just did Britney Spears. Jesus Christ! What in the blue hell!

 Thats disgusting. Barf!

2.21.08

Put the 2Pac tape in! I love this "Spirit of Truth" guy. Skip until like 1:22 then it gets really good. There are MANY other gems from this man, each one getting more and more extreme. I liked this one for the fact that he really shows us crackas, or white devils, on how to dance.



In this video...what the fuck book is he reading from?! I know i mite have never read the Bible, but is that how it is really written?



He is also a VERY talented singer.

2.19.08

I know I like to joke around here at RR, but this is a serious post. In my country there is problem...and that problem is internet gaming. Yessir. It is the devil. Im talking about those Everquest type games. The type that run off addiction. Some people are worse with that shit then drugs. Ok.... I'm lying. I could care less about those assclowns. This is just an excuse to post one of the funniest news articles ever.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/09/17/internet.death.ap/index.html

This Chinese guy played a god damn internet game for 3 days straight and died! HA HA HA! How can you not realize your dying of thirst or starvation? Shit, I liked Mario Bros. a lot but even I would pause to take a piss. And I also love the fact that the owners of the internet cafe he died in didn't even realize this. They didn't realize this guy was playing for 3 days straight and not sleeping, eating, or drinking. I read somewhere else he wasnt even using the bathroom. What the hell game was he playing? Probably Chip and Dale Rescue Rangers.

4.18.08

Slam Dunk Contest.

Ok so Howard won it, his top dunk being him wearing a superman cape and "throwing" the ball into the hoop. It technically wasn't a dunk, but it was cool. Some other dude blew out a cupcake on top of the rim. Memorable moments I guess, but it got me to thinking of some other dunks people could do.

- I want someone to run from behind the basket, jump over the backboard and shot clock and do a reverse dunk while landing.

- The Kobe Byrant. A white cheerleader stands below the rim with her pants down and ass sticking up. A guy dunks, pulls out his junk and then inserts it into her while landing.

- This one might be hard to picture. One guy jumps up from the top of the key like he is going to dunk. A second after another guy jumps closer to the rim, the guy gives him and alley-oop while they are both in the air.

- Has anyone did a forward flip into a dunk besides the Teen Wolf?

- Bingo, thats it....someone should dress as Teen Wolf and do a forward flip dunk.

- I would like to see a giant player dunk another human being, most likely a midget.

- Have a gunman shoot the ball while you are delivering the dunk. That takes a lot of courage.

- At the rate evolution is going, half court dunks will become common place and not get a reaction.

- And for my ultimate dunk....giant player comes walking under the hoop. He then casually extends his arm, while staying flat flooted, and lightly dunks it into the hoop.

Pussy...

Great Moments in songwriting.

I present to you the raunchiest rap I have ever seen in a song. Now this is very hard to do when you are the guest rapper on a song with R.Kelly. To out raunch R. Kelly is a feat in its own, especially in a song where he actually refers to himself as "the lesbian R&B thug." Wait...what? Did R.Kelly really just call himself a lesbian? The song is called "Pussy" by R.Kelly and Jay-Z. This is the verse by guest rapper, Devin the dude.

"The P is for the pearl tongue that I like to tickle.
The U is for uterus, down deep in the middle.
SS is so slippery when I go up inside.
Pussy's good and if you gettin some I know you know Y.
See I got my first shot when I was bout 7.
Her father called my house he said,
"I need to talk to yo son Devin.
My daughter she's 11 and she goes to the same school that yo son goes to.
And she said today she got screwed."
But my daddy answer the phone so no drama, and all he said was,
"No shit! Let me talk to that girl mama!"
Then i was suspended 3 day, token from school.
It was like a vacation.
Niggaz lookin at pussy at the pool in our apartments.
I started hittin hard when I was small.
Let me recite a story lesson for all of yall.
See pussy's like a wound it would never heal,
the more ointment you put on then the better it feels."

Wow. Let that digest for a second. So Devin was having sex with a 11 year old when he was 7, and the girls father knew about this and called the house. But Devins father was very proud that his 7 year old son was banging chicks. 7?! Jesus Christ that is young. This somehow led to him getting suspended from school which made him very happy. And then he ends it with possibly the greatest line in the history of rap. Pure genius.

Sonics album...

Sonic, is a regular here at RR. We interview the controversial 90's star from time to time, and the last interview can be seen HERE . Back then we were asking him his thoughts on the passing of his former running mate Chester. Since that time, Sonic has come out with a new rap album. On that album is a "tribute" song to Chester, and the controversial new single, "Dem Jews got the Jewelz". We sat down with Sonic for his thoughts....


Q.) Sonic you are no stranger to controversy. Your new single, "Dem Jews got the Jewelz" is being called anti-semitic. Is this true?

A.) It is what it is. I'm not making up shit, you know what I'm say'n? Dem Jews do got those Jewelz....am I right? This song is making people aware of blood diamonds and little black children dying, you know what I'm say'n? 

Q.) Huh? 

A.) The Jews man...how they get the Jewelz. They turn black kids into jewelz or some shit, I wasn't really paying attention during that movie.

Q.) Ok, what about your song that is "dedicated" to Chester, entitled, "Heaven Got Another Pussy". The inside artwork of your booklet also has a picture of you standing in front of a tombstone that reads on it, "Here Lies A Bitch Ass". Many people think that is a diss towards Chester too.

A.) It is what it is.

Q.) How do you respond to these lyrics from that same song: "Chester was a bitch but he no longer here, I won't be happy till his kids disappear."

A.) You got it all wrong, it was a dedication man.

Q.) Closing comments?

A.) Fuck Dog the Bounty Hunter.

2.13.08

HA HA HA HA! Ok so it snowed a little in the NY today. Im not gonna lie...the roads got bad, even my Jeep with 4 wheel drive was having some trouble. But that is not the point of this story, this about justice....this is about the poor finally getting back at the rich...seeing the rich crying. Ok so at one point the traffic was not moving an inch. Im wondering what the hell the big hold up is. So I finally move and I see the first "victim". Its a Mercedez Benz in the middle of the orad, trying to move but stuck. Inside the car sits a middle aged beyotch. I felt like stopping and asking her for Grey Poupon. So we continue forward a little bit...until I see the next stuck car. What do we have here? Well its a BMW, with some rich prick behind it. HA HA HA! 4 Wheel Drive you rich mother fucker! Sim Simma, who got the keys to your Beema? Its not over yet tho...to top it all off there is one more stalled car. A Growing up Gotti wanna be douchebag driving a Porsche. I love it! Watching these rich fucks struggle totally made my day.

2.12.08

Ive always been wearing hats my whole life. The thing is recently...I have become very bored buying 800 different variations of the same "New York Mets" New Era hat. That is when I discovered that New Era actually partners with emerging fashion companies and does some crazy shit. Here are two of my favorites thats I own...

This first one is for a company called The Hundreds. I fucking love their logo, and have this hat in navy. That little bomb reminds me of something from a video game or something, and that logo is genius. There hast are HOT, and there is one with the bomb huge all over the side that is very rare. Any true fitted collector will have that one in their collection.
This is a really interesting one too. This hat is made of corteroy and features artwork done by the San Francisco based artist...Jeremy Fish. Its like a skeleton pirate ship splashing through some waves and is pretty fucking crazy. This is definitely the weirdest, craziest hat that I own. If you check out some of his artwork online, you'll see some crazy stuff.

Besides for these limited editions, I also love Minor League Baseball team hats. There are about 1,000 teams and they have some really crazy logos.

2.12.08

GWAP GETTA....

Yup Yup! Thats me mother f'er. I done get that gwap. I went out to Long Island yesterday and got my one thousand dollars handed to me in bills. Yup. Thats what happens when you gamble on the Giants. There is NOTHING better then money you didn't earn. When that money was handed to me I instantly ejaculated into my boxers. Your probably thinking big deal...well considering I have erectile dysfunction and haven't gotten a hard on in 2 years, it kinda is a big deal. Gwap Getta. I could make it flood on these ho's now. HA HA HA HA!

2.11.08

Just found out that Roy Scheider died today at the age of 75. This is not really a big shock to me. I was actually working on his house in Sag Harbor this past summer and met him. He could still move around, but looked like a walking corpse. You probably best know him as the main guy in Jaws, which is still one of the best movies ever IMO. Peace out Roy.

2.9.08

I am outraged! One of my favorite shows ever, "Inside the NFL", has just be cancelled by HBO. I was so fucking furious that i felt the need to write HBO a letter, because quite frankly they are fucking up bad. Here is the letter I sent...


How could you cancel one of the greatest shows on your network? Of course I am referring to "Inside the NFL", the only other original program I enjoy on your network besides "Entourage". With "Sopranos" now gone, and "Inside The NFL" following, I really don't see a reason to keep HBO. This was a "bonehead decision", which HBO seems to be making a lot of lately. After you screwed the DeadWood and Carnivale fans, you decide to put on that softcore porn show which is not even worth naming. And add to that the terribly borning "Big Love", I rather watch "John from Cincinatti" for Christs Sake. This is a network I always considered top of the line, but now, it is definetly second to Showtime. You are about to lose a couple of lifetime subscribers.

2/6/07

Fuck Herbal Essence and their marketing genius. Every day when I take a shower, on the back of My Herbal Essence shampoo is this question. It asks, "What is the most played sport in nudist colonies?" The big problem is their is no answer on the god damn bottle. If I want to know the answer I have to buy the conditioner. The problem is I don't use Herbal Essence conditioner, so this is a question that will never be answered. Every day I stare at it in the shower, and think what the answer could be. It cant be a sport that puts ones peesh-a-deel at risk. Sliding nude in baseball is a scary thought, and the snap off in football could lead to unintentional gay sex. So what could it be? After months of thought i've narrowed it down to one sport...I would bet a million dollars that the answer is Volleyball.

Parade...

Just got back from the NY Giants parade or as I like to call it, mayhem. Thats basically what it was. It was very reminiscent of a scene from Cloverfield. Organized chaos. Groups of people gathered together, cheering and waiting, and waiting. I jumped up on some poor saps van and all of us basically collapsed it, but about 1,000 dollars worth of damage. We were in the one spot, then we were told the giants aren't coming that way. So we then go somewhere else, and the same thing happened again. It was everyone running from one spot to another, and I didn't see one god damn Giant. We wound up in some bar which became the most popping place in the city. That is where the true magic happened, with toasting champagne and throwing glasses around. Despite not seeing one single Giant, I had a great time at the parade.