Kanye West - Welcome to Heartbreak

KANYE WEST "Welcome To Heartbreak" Directed by Nabil from nabil elderkin on Vimeo


Ok.... that is one of the coolest music videos I have ever seen. I have never seen anything like that before. I've never seen someone use pixelation in a transitional situation. At first I thought the vid was fucking up like I had bad connection. The vid kind of looks like a really bad stream. But then watch it and squint you eyes and you will realize you are watching one of the coolest things in life. btw, thats my favorite track from that album.

2.19.09

Did a job today for a guy where I had to film this mass. What I didn't realize was that the mass would be 4 hours long and not a word of it in English.... I have never uttered the phrase "God Damn" more while in church. I think when you watch the video you'll actually be able to hear me mumbling, "when the fuck does this shit end?" while in the background. I could not understand one single word uttered, but I'm pretty certain that this priest was pissed the F off... I also think that one of the songs was something about Kazakhstan. I was so bored I could literally feel insanity creeping into my cranium. I wanted to contort my body to spider form and crawl up to the altar like that bitch in "The Exorcist".

Iron Sheik on Ultimate Warrior's 6 Year Old Daughter

2.17.09

Watchmen is gonna suck.

Yup. I just watched a scene from the new film and I can confidently say it is going to suck. I can tell by the score, the acting, and the general feel the director failed to capture the essence of the book. For those wondering, the novel is amazing and a must read... but the all while reading the book I was thinking, "I would hate to have to adapt this." It's simply to large in scale to work as a single film. I also don't find it really all that marketable. Sure it has a huge fan base, but not like Batman, and I don't see it making the jump into mainstream. The heroes look kind of lame. They look very outdated (which makes sense in context to the book)

For the film i know this. It's director by the guy who did Dawn of the Dead and 300. The casting for the majority is horrible. It has been kept very secret and not given an advanced screening (bad sign) And even fanboys are refusing to comment on wether it was bad or good. This film has all the makings of a disaster.

Jackson Auction

So Jacko is auctioning off his posessions.... I was looking at the various items when I saw -

Jesus Christ! What is that, a Wacko Jacko Terminator? Christ Almighty, why does he own that? How much did that cost to make? That might be one of the most amazing things I have ever seen... I might have to get in on this auction and build my own robotic Jacko to send back in time to assasinate a young Barak Obama.

Then you have this gem.... Its like Jacko picked out random figures from history, and E.T. Was there absolutely any logic put into this painting? Such a thought could only come from a perverse twisted warped mind.

2.17.09

2.16.09

So I'm going to direct this music video for this song called "The Jungle". I heard it and was impressed by the rawness of it. Its a simple haunting beat with in your face raps and no hooks. It reminded me of old Wu-Tang or Onyx or something. I've been wanting to do a gritty video with no color and a real sense of isolationism. I'm looking to capture the loneliness one can feel in a crowded city, despite being smothered in people. I'm going to steer away from having a static camera as I feel it will help with the feeling o uneasiness and discomfort. This video comes at a great time for me as it fits my mood perfectly. My love affair with New York is growing sour by the day... I am ready to move to the fucking woods, grow my hair long, smoke lots of weed, and hunt animals of all sorts. Basically to become a hippie, who enjoys the occasional gangsta rap CD. You can't be someone who does not take life seriously and live in New York. New York is a very serious place driven by a cutthroat attitude and a will to suceed. Don't get me wrong, I love NY and will always be NY in my blood and soul, but seperation makes the heart grow fonder.

BTW: How many movies contain a scene with a guy turning on a computer and saying, "Morning (enter name)." Think about it.

2.14.09

From the dome, some Random Ramblins...

So it's all star weekend an I am watching HORSE... Or rather G-E-I-C-O. First off the whole weekend feels a little off with no Charles Barkley. Nothing was better then seeing them in Vegas and Barkley without a voice hungover as shit 50k lost at the tables. I really thought this Horse competition was going to be good.... it sucks. Me and my friends were more innovative and hit more shots then this. The slam dunk contest and some of the most clever and unique shit I've ever seen, but this is B-O-R-I-N-G. This is the first and probably the last time this is attempted.

I have never seen someone go from very to beloved to loathed as quickly as Brett Favre, The whole fiasco with the Packers tarnished his image greatly and I guarantee he regrets his time as a Jet. His season as a Jet now will most likely be nothing more then a trivia question.

Then we have this... some NHL announcer who has some of the funniest and unique calls when a goal is scored. He basically screams out random movie quotes... pretty good.

オバマ

Why is Obama in Japan? Why is Obama doing magic tricks? Yes We Can! I know big name actors do outrageous commercials for money over there, but this is taking it too far. YES HE CAN! CHANGE THE AMERICA!

What in the bluest of blue hells?

R.I.P Chris Brown

R.I.P 

CHRIS BROWN

Rest in Peace Chris Brown. If you like this guy, take one last look cause you probably have seen him for the last time. Chris Brown will always be remembered for his hits like "Runnin" and his other hit.... ummm... Rhianna? This guy is so screwed... they are saying Rhianna might even need plastic surgery now cause he punched her directly in the face. This kids going to lose a lot of people money. I also hear a rumor he assaulted Rhianna with a deal weapon.....

an umbrella.... ella.... ella.

Drunk Bees

This is insane.... In-fucking-sane! The bee above gets drunk as shit and can barely fly and crash lands. Outside the hive are bouncers/security guards whatever the hell you want to call them. They can tell very easy when a bee is drunk and they punish him ... the punishment.... getting your legs ripped off of course.

2.9.09

FUN FACT: That is actually me doing the commentating in this video. For the final in my Spanish 101 class we all had to call a Lucha Libre match on live TV.

A-Roid

Glorious Day! The biggest prick in sports got what was coming to him.... A-Rod, or should I say A-Fraud, or rather A-Roid, has been outted as a steroid abuser. Man oh man... this guy is really being shown for the true asshole he is. First off you have Joe Torre, a classy man who I respect, calling him out in his new book, and now this. When I look at the players who abused steroids, i notice a trend... they are all dickheads, and known in locker rooms for being ego-maniacs. First off you have Barry Bonds, known as one of the biggest assholes of all time in baseball. Then you have Roger Clemens, one of the most despicable bat throwing classless mother fuckers of all the time. Now you have the single white female Madonna dating slap the ball out of your hand, A-Fraud. Karma is a bitch. A-Rod should lose his whole paycheck and it should be refunded to Yankee fans who paid to go to the games. I thought steroids are suppose to enhance your hitting, not make you screw up in the playoffs.

Dr.Wahee

So that above is a scene from the Playstation game, "Mega Man 8". That voice acting is probably the WORSE of all the times. When I hear something like that I am astonished. I want you to just stop and imagine how that was made... someone actually got PAID to record that. Someone walked into a room full of Japanese guys and spoke uttered words... and then the probably gleefully clapped and PAID him. Someone got PAID for that.

9.5.09

Does anyone else find that commercial offensive to Asians? Im not even Asian and the first time I saw it, it left a tast in my mouth like I was gnawing on shit. Because of this commercial I now run up to random Asian people and scream "More Flags, More Fun!" directly into their face while making my eyes squinty.

Speaking of which, look at this picture....


Miley Cyrus and all her gay-Twilight wannabe- gay bckup dancers making fun of Asians... did I mention they were gay? i love how there is one Asian kid in the pick. I want to know how this picture came about.

For fucks sake man your amateur!

Sons of 1984 - People

New short little video I edited together for a bunch of hip hop websites. I actually didn't shoot any of this footage and was basically given a big mound of shit and told to make gold out of a hand held camera they had floating around and filming a studio session. I'm actually pretty pleased witht he final product. It feels like a real throwback rap video from the early nineties. The beat has this very smooth laid back feel and I wanted the video to give it that same justice. Its a good vid to light one up too and just sit back and mellow out. The opening guy Panama is from the show "The Wire" btw.

I recommend watching it in "HQ"

Dance Floor Dale

Directed by Eric Wareheim (Tim & Eric) in association with Warp Records and Warp Films. Music by Flying Lotus. Co Directed/ Animation by Devin Flynn. Co Directed/ Edited by Eric Fensler. More info at dancefloordale.com



Watch the whole thing!

Super Bore

So the "Super Bore" is this Sunday.  I think this is going to be a massacre, and you are truly going to see why the statement "defenses win championships" is so true. I'm probably going to place some bets and I'm thinking of taking the Steelers to win and covering the 7 point spread, probably the over (gotta check it again), and for the Super Bowl MVP to be Troy Parmalalou. Last year the G-Men won me 1k and the year before with the Colts I was one point off with my Super Bowl score prediction. (If you don't believe me, look on this blog at past posts.) 

The Steelers defense is simply too good. They are going to get interceptions and they are going to hit Kurt Warner and cause him to fumble. The Cinderella story ends here.. Im going with the Steelers by 17... So I'm saying...

STEELERS 27

CARDINALS 10

Joe Torre book

Everyone is going crazy about Joe Torre's new book. Well, I have happened to land a advanced copy of said, and let me tell you it is juicy. Some of the things he says are outrageous... simply outrageous... especially when it comes to Alex Rodriguez, or as Torre calls him, "A-Fraud". Here are some experts from the book...

"I don't know if I could really describe A-Fraud in one word... it really depends if you consider Mother-fucker one word."

" He [A-Rod] thought he was SOOO cool because he was fucking Madonna. Thats some old warn out pussy dawg. I hope he catches an STD."

"I rather have that fish from Africa swim up my dick then have to sit in a room with A-Fraud for more then a minute."

" He [A-Rod] would eat the corn out of Jeters ass if he asked him too." 

"Jeter is fucking super models every night... A-Rod masturbates to the thought of Jeter fucking super models every night."

1.28.09

Do you know what a "Rogue Wave" is mother fucker?! I was just watching about this on the History channel late last night at it gave me terrible night terrors. So picture yourself out on a cruise ship, getting drunk, gambling and being a sexual deviant when all of a sudden a 100 foot wave appears in the distance and blows your buzz. Rogue waves randomly appear and hit upwards to a 120 feet, and basically fuck shit up. They hit with a force so hard that the bend open steel doors like sardine cans. These waves were once often thought to be a old sailors tail, like giant squids and Krakens, but they are real... damn real. I could imagine being out on deck smoking a cigarette and seeing this things coming towards the ship. I don't even know what I would.. maybe you should jump in the water or some shit. I love how people are scared of sharks, terrorists, and Draculas when shit like this is going down.

1.26.09

I was sitting around thinking and it hit me.... "Fuck... The stupid Super Bowl is Sunday". I have NEVER cared less about a Super Bowl. I do not want too watch it but feel obliged. I could give not a shit about this game and would be very happy if it was just canceled. And for those of you thinking I'm just a bitter Giants fan... not true at all. After last years miracolous win the Giants could not have won one game and I would be happy. This years is like a really crappy sequel to an Oscar winning movie. You could not have picked 2 shittier boring teams. Two teams with absolutely no stars (besides for Fitzgerald, who lacks personality tho). I would have liked the Eagles vs. Ravens, but this is terrible. I'm thinking of doing one of the most Un-American acts of all time and skip the Super Bowl this year... Yup. Sometimes I find a saving grace in the halftime show, but I dislike Bruce Springsteen too. Everyone is a loser in this years Super Bowl.

I went to hell today. I was at school from 10 Am to 8 Pm, with one hour break. That is inhumane... A part of my soul has died, I could feel it. I am positive now that I have developed ADD.... I think it came about in highschool. It was 4 classes... 

The first class is African American studies and might be taught by the most charismatic, well-spoken teacher I have ever seen. He is mesmerizing and has this swagger to him where it is impossible not to pay attention.... he reminds me of a more ghetto Obama.... maybe more Malcolm X. He has had to have had training in public relations, because he uses too many techniques a politician uses. I would vote for him. 

Then we have investigative reporting. By the time this class rolls around I have put some chemicals in my body (some upper drink) and am bouncing off the walls. 

Then comes the American People 1. I'm still alright and getting by, trying somewhat to participate in class.

Finally its American People 2... in the same room, with the same teacher. This is where my soul dies. I crashed and crashed hard. I fidget around like I have tourettes and stare blankly at the teacher pretending to listen. My eyes must be the emptiness things ever seen and in my head I hear voices yelling the most obscene combination of curse words over and over again. Some of the curses have not even been invented yet. I had an urge to yell out "FUCK!" as loud as possible during the middle of class and honestly had to resist the temptation.

There is no way I will be able to pull this off the whole semester. I will try, but who am I kidding.

One other thing... for everyone that thinks they are a "drunk", I'm watching Intervention and they have this guy on who's a true drunk right now. He gets so wasted he winds up in the hospital and they tell him he has done so much damage that one single drink can be fatal. So what does he do then..... He sees hand sanitizer in the room and realizes it has alcohol in it, so he goes and drinks that. That is a drunk.

1.23.09

MJ Oscars

So Benjamin Button got the most Oscar nods... thats odd... seeing as how the movie kinda sucks and should be called "Forrest Gump 2". Instead of a mentally disabled person learning about life and it's experiences, we get a old man baby or whatever the hell he is. It has some of the same characters (drunk sea captain, love of life that main character constantly writes, etc.) and that naive narration from the main character...  OVERRATED.... that is how you spell Benjamin Button. .. and I'm a Brad Pitt fan... his portrayal of Jesse James is what should of won him an award.

On the other hand you have a movie that deserves the praise it is getting... and that is "Slumdog Millionaire". Whoever was in charge of marketing for this film should be fired, as the previews and commercials were God Awful... they made it come off like some Romantic Bollywood comedy.... I was expecting big musical song and dance numbers. (There is one stupid one during the credits which makes zero sense.) This is a strong sleek film. God damn is it sleek... the cinematography is amazing and the score is interesting and works well. I like this film a lot, but its not the "Best Picture". The Final Act feels a little too unbelievable and fantasy like... the film has a somewhat dark tone and then and then the final act is very different. So what is the "Best Picture" then....

Here are MJ's Oscars....

Best Actor: Mickey Rourke in The "Wrestler"

Best Supporting Actor: Heath Ledger in "Batman"... take Heath out and that movie is crap

Best Director: Dany Boyle in "Slumdog Millionaire"

Best Screenplay: "Gran Torino"

Best Cinematography: "Slumdog Millionaire"

Best Film: "Gran Torino"

1.22.09

Say What?!

1.21.09

The song above has inspired me to go out and film. I dibble daddled in Documentary film making and I think I'm going to make another short film, that will run as long as the song above with no audio. It will be an observational piece.... I'm thinking about maybe something on the homeless.

If I could use copyrighted music for my short film "Found", I think I would use Led Zepplin's "No Quarter" as the theme.

1.19.09

This is why I loved the original Nintendo. It was like reading a novel as opposed to XBOX and PS3 which is like watching a movie. When you played a Nintendo game the graphics were so bad you actually had to use your imagination to envision the world you were playing in. You had to imagine what Mario really looked like, and how fearsome Bowser was in real life. A lot of times one had to consult the box cover art to get a good idea of how your character looked. The picture above is a great representation of how I always envisioned my Donkey Kong.

1.19.09

I would just like to point down to the post below... did I not say it would be the Cardinals and Steelers in the Super Bowl. I thought the Cardinals game would be a smaller point margin but I said Steelers by 10... and they won by 9. 

Watching football today I witnessed one of the most awkward and somewhat tasteless moments I have seen in a while. The coverage of the McGahee hit was one of the most barbaric things I have ever seen. I felt like I was sitting in the Coliseum giving the thumbs up for the lions to be released. First off, that was a NASTY NASTY hit. Everyone knew this game would be physical, but these guys were going helmet to helmet and awful lot. I wasn't actually watching during the live hit, but I heard the sound of the impact and turned to see. Then I saw the replay and knew it was bad... I knew someone was out bad, I saw how McGahee went down without being able to move his arms.

Now here is where I have a problem with CBS coverage. The must of showed the hit 38 times, each time getting slower and closer. It was honestly hard to watch. Sure, they might have taken the sound of the hit out, but it was still too much. You show the replay, but once you realize someone is really hurt, stop showing it again and again and show some respect. I don't need to keep seeing it, and if I really wanted to I could go check youtube the next day. And why didn't they cut to commercial? Why did I have to sit in silence watching people crowd around a fallen player and keep seeing the hit over and over again.

Its the same thing as people slowing down to view a car accident.... Or what pisses me off the most.. when there is an ambulance somewhere and total strangers have to stick there nose in and find out whats going on, whos sick, or whatever the hell else. Mind your fucking business people. If you can't help the situation, stay the hell out. 

I shouldn't have been watching the McGahee situation... yeah I was hoping for the best, but I'm not a personal friend of the guy or a teammate, this is a personal situation and thats what it should be. Take me to a commercial and then give me an update.... this wasn't the thing for kids to be viewing IMO either.

NFL Playoffs

The football is on today... so I thought I would give some picks.... The playoffs lack that special something since the Giants have been eliminated. I guess Eli Manning can now focus on buying multiple Toyota's and the upcoming Oreo Double Stuff championship competition.

Everyone knows what I think about Donovan McNabb... I think he is a terrible, overrated, head case, who cracks under pressure. Then we have the Cardinals. Kurt Warner is a uber Christian and it appears he has the Jesus in his corner. How can you beat someone that might be the Son of God. Did you know that Kurt Warner is homeless because he gave ever cent he owns to charity? He sleeps in the Arizona Cardinals training facility. There is no way you can dislike Kurt Warner... and to top it all off he took a job from a grade A douchebag named Matt Leinart. I hope Leinart never sees another snap in the NFL. Cardinals gonna win and then Kurt Warner will die for our sins in the Super Bowl. This will be real close... Cardinals by 1.

Ray Lewis is a scary man. Correction... the scariest man in the world. He paces back and forth before games like a caged lion. This is one of the most motivated men in the world.  I don't know how you can not be a better player by just being around him. I really want to pick the Ravens to win this, as they are my favorite team thats still left... but alas I can't. 2 main reasons... number 1 they have a rookie QB, he is do to make some big mistakes. Number 2... they damn near killed themselves in that game against the Titans. They better be ready for a game of equal physicality against the Steelers, the number one defense in the league. For a while now I've been saying the Steelers were the best team in the league. Since about mid season I felt this way, and I have a feeling they will beat the Ravens by a decent margin. I will say Steelers by 10.

So there you have it... the Super Bowl will be the most boring combination of teams possible as the Cardinals get crushed and murdered by the Steelers.

Molester Stallone

Molester Stallone - watch more funny videos

1.15.09

Steve Smith of the Carolina Panthers has just gained my respect. For whatever reason, I have never cared for the guy. He always came off very cocky and seemed like a real "Me" player. I was just watching "Inside the NFL" and the coverage of the Panthers/Cardinals game. Delhomme throws his 5th picks and goes sit on the bench to sulk. Steve Smith comes up to him and says, "You could throw 50 interceptions, but your still my guy." Thats being a teammate. Thats a team player. Thats not T.O. pointing fingers. This seemed very genuine, unlike T.O.'s "thats my quarterback!" speech in a very public forum.

Storytelling 101

I have this character named Ted Zahn (Mr.Zahn unless you have earned the "privilege" to call him Ted. You can also lose this "privilege").... He is an elementary school principal and is basically a dick..... he is also obsessed with the term "LIVESTRONG" and those yellow bracelets.... even going as far as to make it the school's slogan and requiring every student to wear one. When one student is sick in his office, he tells him to man-up and start "living strong".

Through out the story he harasses the lead, threatening to fire him and barking tough guy threats. He is someone who takes his job way too serious, and is really a wanna-be cop stuck as a school principal.

In one of the final scenes he is beat to a inch of his life by one of the likable main characters. This is where i had a problem with the story. This act is suppose to be despicable, but I realized that none of the audience will really give a damn about Mr.Zahn and if something bad happens to him. Mr.Zahn really does not do one good thing through out the whole story. Why should someone care if he gets beat? This is where I came up with a solution...

In one scene Mr.Zahn is lifting weights in his office. When a character is in their "domain" it is a perfect time to flesh out that character. The way the room is decorated is key too telling an audience character traits. If their is a poster on the wall... the content of it can tell you a lot about the owner. In this case I put a picture of Mr.Zahn with his two twin daughters. Originally I have him plead to the character beating him that he has two daughters... now he says nothing while taking the beating. The fact that he says nothing makes his character seem a lot stronger and honorable to me... and the fact that he has a family at home should ignite a bigger emotional response from the audience. You now start to feel bad for this "dick". I still didn't feel I had fleshed this guy out enough.... it is also revealed in a passing comment that his wife died of cancer a year ago....hence the obsession with "Livestrong". The bracelets and slogan provided him the strength to get thru that loss, and he wants to give that to his students. See, the guys not that much of a dick anymore. So now, when that same character beats him to near death, the emotional impact of that act will provoke much stronger emotions.

Thats storytelling 101

Bonus: Heres an exchange I love from the screenplay...

 John is a somewhat uptight, jittery, intellectual elementary school history teacher

 Seb is a laid back, drug abusing, cursing, strip club visiting, high school drop out janitor who is probably on a bender.

SEB

[Explaining how far along he is in the novel "Huck Finn"] 

"Hucks dad beats him and shit and he fakes his own death or something. It reminds me of my dad.... I should've did that."

     

JOHN

What? Fake your own death?

SEB

Yeah....like 2Pac.

 The Maspeth without the Meeeeee! Is like the Bible without the Jeeeeeeez! Simple as that. I took some of my "medicine" tunite cause i wanted to see whats up. Some of the medicine goes in the mouth and other is smoked. If you want to be a writer this is what you do...... Get your "stone" on and then go look in a mirror. Look at your self for the first time. Its not your reflection, the drugs have allowed you to obtain the eyes of the stranger. For the first time you are seeing yourself how others see you. The drugs have made you somewhat delusional and now you can finally witness your own fiery spirit hidden deep in the eyes. That spirit is lost when looking into a mirror. Your eyes dont get transfixed to any one blemish or pimple. This is not you looking at your face, knowing every single knook and crany..... this is a stranger staring at you for the first time. What do you see? Do you see intensity. Eyes that burn and look to conquer the world. A read aura that glows about your face. I could suddenly see what I truly am. I saw the youth that I thought I had lost. I found a young fresh face who's eyes are always burning with intensity and who borders on maniacal. I saw youth, will, drive.....fire. I liked what I saw. I liked it a lot. I want to see that everyday. I'm hungry guys!.... I'm just about starving! I look at my face and I can damn near see the hunger bursting through my skin. A fireball stuck in my brain that is dying to burst free and get shot out of my mouth. I'm ready to eat! I did what needed to be done and got my lips wet.... but now I want the full course! You can't give me a taste and take it away from me. 2009 is the year that I finally eat.... that WE finally eat. I can see the dish being prepared from here... very fancy foods all alligned on the plate... A California Egg Roll, mixed with a South Beach Soft Crab, mixed with some petron.... A  lifestyle I have tasted before.... but I just had small portions.... this time i want the full friggin' course!

I wear my desire like I wear my skin. Its all over me, its all I fucking think about it. Dreaming of the creative..... tinkering out a storyline... adding a character trait... making these characters me... breathing as them.. and observing  every little thing about the inspiration... how they walk, talk, and fart! This next film will be dedicated to my neighborhood. This film will also introduce many strangers to come take a visit to Maspeth, Queens, and get to hang out with this assortment of Screwball characters that form "Seb". Thats what it basically is. A film that brings strangers into my neighborhood through on character. If Maspeth and every citizen could manifest into one human being... it would be "Seb". In this film... the viewer is basically experiencing a documentary of the Town of Maspeth by watching "Seb". "Seb" is more then a documentary... he is a character study of Psychology. So basically I'm making a movie tentatively titled "The Janitor", which contains a documentary on the town of Maspeth wrapped up and disguised as the character called "Seb". Shit... I'm changing the name to Sam... cause Sam backwards is Mas....Mas-peth. So there is my film for Maspeth, even though it doesn't take place there. What else can I ramble about here... I am in rare spirits.

......

"The stunning court papers claim Curry, a married father of three, repeatedly approached chauffeur David Kuchinsky "in the nude," allegedly telling him, "Look at me, Dave, look" and "Come and touch it, Dave."

-New York Post
http://www.nypost.com/seven/01122009/news/regionalnews/knicks_sex_scandal_shock_149861.htm

1.13.09

So the Mets have managed to disappoint me in 2009 already. First off the Yankees unveiled this bad ass new patch to be worn on their jersey sleeves....

See.... It's nice, makes the new stadium look cool, has some thought put into it, and is generally a cool thing. Now for the Mets. The Mets version looks as if some person totally forgot they had to design one and made it up 5 minutes before the unveiling. I forgot to add.... this person is not a graphic designer, nor is he all that familiar with Photoshop. It also resembles the Dominoes Pizza logo...

 

Wow... That sucks. That really sucks. How could someone see that and say, "Yup. Thats it! Thats what were looking for!" Look at it... it's basically nothing... and why do both of them use the same colors? Those colors seem really out of place for the Yanks.

Whats up Baby?

"Whats up Baby?" "How you doing baby?" " Thanks a lot baby!" This is how I talk now. I talk like a pimp for the 70's. I dont know how it happened by I have substituted the word "Boss" with "Baby". "Boss" of course being the obligatory word used when referring to strangers while talking to them. I now refer to everyone,  male or female, as baby. I want to quit it, cause i know it creeps some people out, but I can't break this habit.  The way it is pronounced is not simply "Baby" tho.... its more of a "Babe-aay". I think I'm going to just say hello to people with a big "WHASSUP!" like from those Bud commercials. That is really a fad that needs to come back.... "WHAAAAAAAAAAASUP!"

9.12.09

My neighborhood is fucking bizarre... More specifically Maspeth Avenue is crazy. A while back a kid decapitated his "friend" by slicing him apart with a samurai sword. Yup. A fucking samurai sword... Jesus. You can read about that at this link....

http://www.nydailynews.com/archives/news/2004/06/14/2004-06-14_samurai_slayin__collar_queen.html

Then this morning, I found out this dude got his intestines ripped out a couple of houses down from me. Apparently he got into a fight with his girlfriend and she cut his stomach open with a broken beer bottle, she then proceeded to rip his intestines out. Hey... I'm pissed the Giants lost yesterday too, but c'mon now. The dude managed to live too. He gets what he deserves for dating Hannibal Lecter mixed with Freedy Kreuger and a splash of Jason Vorhees.

Gran Torino

I deemed "The Wrestler" the best movie of 2008.... I stand by that claim, HOWEVER, the most entertaining film of 2008 is "Gran Torino". Or is that 2009? Whatever, it is one of my favorite films of all time... period. While watching it, there was not one second where I wasn't completely engrossed. The story is simple, and somewhat cliche, and might not be as deep as some want, but this film has so much damn heart. This film runs on heart and by the end you will be teary eyed, no matter how tough you think you are. This is a film that needed to come out. It should be required viewing for anyone under the age of 25. This film will teach you the true meaning of being a bad ass. Being a gang member wearing bandannas and flashing guns is not bad ass. This film also brings racism right to the forefront.... a topic no one wants to touch on. There are numerous funny racist jokes through out, which you will feel bad for laughing at, but in the end it shows the combining of two cultures. And the best part is Eastwood befriends a different race at the end, but his character is not pussified. He still says all his outrageous things, he just shows a little crack in his hard exterior shell. Eastwoods character is not a true "racist". He's all bark and no bite. This is like a lot of people I know. They might claim to dislike blacks and Asians and what not, and tell racist jokes, but they are not truly racist at all. They will be friendly and talk with any different race around.... they talk this way because I guess it was around them from their elders.

Let me speak on racism quick. I find stereotypes to be basically true for the most part. At the least the stereotypes that aren't just hateful and spiteful. Blacks are good athletes and Asians are smart. I've seen this numerous times, its true. I don't know why black people are offended by stereotypes.... your a great athlete and have a big dick.. thats an awesome rep to have. I know the others around too like blacks are lazy and all that, but I'm white and probably the most lazy person on earth....  so that stereotype is false. Another is that Asians can't drive, well that... wait.... that is true. The point is this... you should be proud of what makes you different. As a white person there is really no such thing as white pride. Instead, we take pride in our nationalities... like being Italian or Irish or whatever. I'm a mutt so I don't have this either. I wish I had a strong culture to be proud of... I guess I just have to rep America. Being racist is dumb and makes no sense. Our differences are what makes this country great. You might think you want everyone to be like you... but if you truly had that, you would realize how much it sucks. Except other cultures... embrace other cultures... experience other cultures... just don't try to BE another culture.... one of my favorite parts of "Torino" is when Clint chews out a wigger.

And let me add one other opinion... albeit a tad controversial. I think the evolution of the word "nigger" is one of the most genius things I have ever seen. You have a hateful word invented by the white man to put down and de-humanize black people. What do the black people do? They take the word as their own and de-venomnize it. Then... as the times change and some whites actually want to be black, they make the word their own 100 percent and it becomes offensive for whites to say it, but ok for them to say it. Genius. And the fact that many white people just can't let them have one word, pisses me off. If you are white do not say the word "nigga". I know you might listen to rap and what not, and you might have black friends who let you say it, but just don't. Don't. It sounds so ignorant and embarrasses me as a white person. That word is theirs, they earned it for the bullshit the race had to go through. However, as bad as blacks had it... Native Americans had it much worse and got fucked a lot harder. I really want to see Native Americans become embraced and respected more, but as a people they seem to passive and quiet.  The Native American culture is pretty awesome, and spiritually on an entirely different level. These were very intelligent people who had a respect and love for life, that is badly lacking in todays world. A big part of me wants to live in the woods as a Native American and smoke from a huge pipe and talk to spirits and shit. And you know what pisses me off... when people call them "Indians". Its so fucking dumb... the only reason they are called Indians is because of that dumb fuck Christopher Columbus thinking he was in India. I love finding out the truth about Columbus and how he was such a dumb dickhead. Columbus actually only landed in the Carribean Islands and took many Native Americans as slaves. Thats all he viewed them as, even though they were very generous and accommodating to him. Fuck Christopher Columbus. I can not believe we still celebrate that racist holiday. I would honestly vote for the removal of that day as a holiday.

1.11.09

I'm watching the Giants take on the Eagles in a playoff game right now, and I must say, I'm not feeling as excited as I should. This has been the story of the NFL season this year. I never really go into it. I think in part because last year was so good I couldn't have scripted a better season. This time last year we were playing the Cowboys in Dallas and I was partying in a house full of people. Today I'm in my house alone watching an early 1 o clock game, and I have this feeling we are going to lose. I think this season will be remembered for the Giants as the season Plaxico shot himself in the leg. If the Giants lose this game, I will have zero interest in the rest of these playoffs. The Arizona Cardinals?! C'mon now. Do you realize the Super Bowl can be the Cardinals vs. an LT less Chargers? I couldn't predict a more boring crappy Super Bowl. None of the stars are left in the playoffs this year.... No Peyton, No Brady, No Favre, No T.O., No Romo, No LT, No Moss. Not much of anyone good. Instead this year, we might be treated to rookie QB Joe Flacco versus born again Christian, Kurt Warner. Wow... compelling stuff there. Not quite as good as a raging underdog Giants team led by Strahan in his final year going against the undefeated cheating villains of the league Patriots in the Super Bowl. Last year we beat the Cowboys in Dallas at the last second, intercepted Favre in OT in one of the coldest games ever in Green Bay, and beat the undefeated Patriots in the Super Bowl including one of the most amazing plays of ALL time. How can any sequel live up to that?

A sports league thrives when the big market teams are winning. Baseball thrives when Boston and the Yankees are on top, not the Tampa Rays. This is why basketball had a resurgence with Boston versus the Lakers in the championship. This is why I think these leagues are better without so many god damn teams. Why does the NBA have a team in Toronto? These expansion teams hurt the league. No one cares about them, even their hometowns. And when they win... they are met with apathy and poor television ratings. This overabundance also takes away from the true essence of sports... rivalries. Rivalries are what draws college sports ratings so high. Basketball used to thrive on rivalries. Magic/Bird, Miller/Knicks, Jordan and just about everyone. You don't really have this anymore... the only professional sport that still pushes rivalries is football. These leagues are so concerned with neutering their athletes, and present "positive" images they are destroying the drama. Not everyone can be a good guy... every great story has a villain. This is why last years Super Bowl was the highest rated of all time.... the Patriots fit into the role of villain better then anyone I've ever seen. Its much harder to get someone to tune in and root for a team they don't necessarily care for, then it is to get them to root against a common villain. Villains are what sell tickets.. in order for a great hero, you need an equally "great" bad guy. Everyone outside of New England was rooting against the Patriots. It wasn't so much they liked the Giants... it was just a unified hatred against the cheating stoic emotionless Patriots.

1.9.09

While watching the Eagles game against the Vikings last week (ugly game), I somehow managed to stumble across a cool little website. I'm not really sure how, as I was under the influence of drugs and in a delusional state. My memory is a little hazy here and I can be off, but this is what I do remember.

The site is.....

www.AirPlay.com

and what it basically is is this: You watch a NFL game live on your TV and play along on the computer. Before every play you have to choose between a pass or a run. You then choose which player will get the run or receive the pass. With passing you have to choose on the length. You are then awarded points and there is a leaderboard and you can win prizes or some shit. Like I said, I stumbeled upon this towards the end of the game, but I think I'm going to check it out again for this weekends games. CHECK IT OUT!

NFL Playoffs

Heres my playoff predictions Beatrice!

Giants vs. Eagles - Both offenses are suspect. McNabb and the Eagles offense didn't exactly look great against the Vikings and the Giants are showing how much they miss Plax by not scoring in the red zone. This is going to be a defensive war and a ground and pound run game. Westbrook vs. Jacobs. And thats why the Giants win, because its not just Jacobs who has to carry all the weight, he has Derrick Ward. Who does Westbrook have? This will be a close one but I'm going with the G-Men.

Steelers vs. Chargers - Steelers are the best team in the NFL. And even if Ben is hurt, the offense have looked slightly better with Leftwich. It doesn't matter, the Steelers are all defense and they are going to destroy the Chargers offense. Don't expect Sprules to be a hero again in this one... this aint the Colts D. Expect a lot of fumbles and into from the Chargers. I'm going with the Steelers by 10.

Panthers vs. Cardinals - SNORE! The bore of the week right here. The Cardinals don't deserve to be in the playoffs and hopefully the overhyped Carolina will beat the Boldin-less birds. Expect a high score on this one and the Panthers to win by a good margin. Lets say 14.

Ravens vs. Titans - Game of the week. If you like hard hitting football this will be for you. This will be nothing short of a war with both teams destroying each other. This is going to be a very good, low scoring, brutal game. Back and forth battle of field goals. However, I'm going to go with the Ravens by 3 points.

12.7.09

I just saw the trailer for this awesome new movie. It's called "Bermuda Triangle" and it stars Brendan Fraiser. Brendan plays a sailor whose ship gets thrown off course and right into the middle of the Bermuda Triangle. A pterodactyl comes flying up from the water and swoops Brendan (his name in the film too) off the boat. It then flies directly into the bottom of the ocean. What he finds is the lost city of Atlantis and is befriended by Emilia Earhart (who crashed down there years ago, but for some reason has not aged). The city is overrun by a being of light who crash landed onto Earth on a meteor. This being's sole purpose is to mess with the natural order of the universe. He kind of looks like the silver surfer but made of light. It has been sucking down boats and aircrafts and placing the pieces together to form one gigantic robot. The robot will then be used to destroy the planet earth. The Atlantians (who have now morphed into mermaids) are under the spell of this being , due to the hypnotic song of a magical flute made of coral that It wields. Brendan and Emilia try to devise a plan to stop this creature. While this is happening, the "Behemoth" is getting ready for its voyage sail. The Behemoth is the worlds largest ship and is designed by the great great great great grandson of the maker of the Titantic. He hopes to restore his families name and will sail right through the Bermuda Triangle. The light being gets word of this and nows that a ship this large is all he needs to complete his robot. Will Brendan and Emilia stop the light being's plan before the Behemoth comes into his path? I just hope this film isn't boring....

12.5.08

Why do the Chinese love bootlegging so much? Its like they are born to sell counterfeit shit. They teach them English over there and the only thing they learn is "CD-DVD?". Well look up here... its some new stores opened up in a Chinese mall... wait a sec?! Thats not McDonalds! It reminds me of "Coming to America", when Eddie Murphy works in the restaurant called McDowells. Speaking of which, that movie is a classic. That is the sort of movie I wish I was able to quote word for word. "Pizza...Huh?"

NFL WILDCARD

What is in the water in San Diego? Whatever it is, all I know is that the Chargers produce some of the best running backs. LT is great (although on a decline), Michael Turner is proving he too is the real deal on Atlanta, and now say hello to the newest and possibly brightest star, Darren Sproles. Watching this 5 foot 6 mighty mouse plow thru defenders like a mini Brandon Jacobs is a blast. He pops out of the backfield like he is being shot out of a rocket, and jukes and turns at amazing paces. Based on this one performance, he is my favorite RB to watch play along with Peterson and Jacobs. This guy is going to be a star in this league... let the bidding wars begin on him as he becomes a free agent after this. Chargers are scary right now.... reminding me of the Giants last year. You have to realize this, the last 4 games have just about been playoff games for the Chargers.... must win games. And Rivers, like him or not, seems to be one of the most competive guys in the league. Will Rivers join Rothlessberger and Eli in that elite class of QB's from that draft to win the big one? The Chargers look real hungry, with young unknowns stepping up and making the plays when it counts (just like the Giants last year). The Colts were becoming a favorite to win the AFC... Now I got to say its the Steelers. I think this Chargers team can beat the Titans and give Pittsburgh a run for its money.

I must admit however, I LOVE the Chargers theme song... it is the most tacky disco anthem I have ever heard. It might also be the most god damn catchy song of all the times.

The Cardinals are a fair weather team. They are going to be devoured by either the Giants or the Panthers. If the Falcons could've established some sort of run game, they would have won. I'm convinced Matt Ryan is the real deal and will be a star in this league for a while. Sure he had his rookie mistakes, but overall he put together some really good drives. No one will be talking about this game, and the Chargers look to remain the talk of the league unless something amazing happens tomorrow.

Heres my picks for tomm.... Vikings manage to stop Westbrook and force McNabb to the air. McNabb makes some costly errors and the Vikings pull of a last second victory. Vikings by 3.

The Ravens defense is simply too much and they take a commanding lead on the dolphins ending the cindarella story. I say Ravens by 10.

1.02.09

"Lets get the fuck out this country mother fucker!" the quote of 2008

1.02.09

Ok I'm posting all my favorite videos of the year... amazing. That is all that can be said about this video.

1.02.09

We going fucking Youtube crazy tunite Beatrice! And if you look at the post title, we've also apparently jumped one year into the future. I've actually seen this commercial a lot when I'm cutting class and watching morning talk shows. There is a diamond in the rough here.. boost it up to about 1 minute in. This guy can hear how the ladies think he's so cute, but what happens if they approach him. "Whats that in your ear?" "Oh that... its just my device so I can discreetly listen to other peoples conversations." They should make this commercial real, where the person with the device hears what people are really saying like, "What the fuck is in is ear?" and "Theres that sexual deviant, never knowing how to mind his fuckin' business."

If you see anyone wearing this device, I DEMAND that you walk up to them and scream as loud as humanly possibly right into this machine.

1.1.08

Wow... My God, I have to start watching QVC. This guy is batshit crazy, and tells one of the most incoherrent stories of all the times. Its so out there I really feel it was suppose to be intentionally funny. Why was he opening a can that had a rat on the top of it? Huh? The end is a little odd when he says "there would be blood everywhere", but I'm still thinking this guy is legit and this is not a prank.

1.01.08

Oh man... heres another great blooper too... this guy looks like he breaks his back.

1.1.08

Yeah... real good fucking ladder. Who would want to buy that piece of shit now?